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My question is: How to get a trial offer?.

My 2nd question is: Hi ive been dating (online dating with a guy now for nearly two months we are getting on well trouble is he hasn't told me where things are headed whether he thinks we can be an item or not. I sent him a text this morning and said that I care about him a lot and I would like us to be a couple and asked him how he feels about this, I havent put any pressure on him I said if hes not sure and needs to get to know me more thats fine I just want him to know how I feel. we meet up once a week in the evenings and he kisses and cuddles me a lot so I think he generally likes me but I'm not sure whether he is keeping his options open or just isnt sure what he wants yet, he lives two hours from me  i would like peoples views on this do you think I have done the right thing and should I have said it by text I just dont have a problem with people telling me their feelings by text, should I have said it face to face maybe I will scare him off but I need to know where I stand if I lose him then I lose him theres nothing I can do ive just been honest has anyone ever been in this situation?..

Comments (6)

If I "scare someone off" than obv we're not meant to be together anyways. .

Texting important things like emotions are for cowards and wusses and shows poor character.  If you're one of those people, then rock on with your texts..

It really depends on what kind of person you are and what your personal standards are.  Are you okay with wasting your time?  Because that's what happens if you dont ask things you want to know.  Are you okay with ambiguity?  Because that's what you'll get from a text answer since you cant hear voice tone and see body language.  Are you okay with beign a wuss?  Because that's what texters do. .

Communication is always better in person..

Edited 4/5/2009 4:47 pm ET by blairbear89..

Comment #1

No, sending any kind of serious feelings or communication by text or even email is  not a good idea.  It leaves far too much for interpretation and is honestly a weak form of communication.  It's weak because it doesn't require that you actually be mature and face your feelings head on.  If he gets "scared" by you communicating in a mature and thoughtful manner, then he's not ready for a relationship (thru with you..

But it's too late now, you've already done it.  You may or may not get an answer.  He may do any number of things - ignore it and move on with the status quo, he might ignore it and never speak to you again, he might answer and say something like "LOL, your cool too. I lik u."  or something equally inane.  Or hopefully he'll be mature and the next time you see each other, he will discuss it with you..




Comment #2

If you have expressed these feelings to him before then texting isnt so bad BUT nothing strengthens a bond like direct contact.  For new emotions .. try to say it verbally to him - it will mean more...

Comment #3

P.S.  you can also handwrite a letter - it is still better than texting - if you feel squeamish about saying something in person.  One of my exes used to write me long letters all the time...

Comment #4

No it is not okay. If you can't have this kind of conversation face-to-face then you're not ready for a real relationship...

Comment #5

It's only been 2 months, you're still in the getting to know each other stage. It's hard to know in a real way where things are headed.  And yes, the text is already sent but it probably wasn't the best thing to do. These conversations are better done face to face.  Let us know what happens.


Comment #6

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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