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My question is: How to get a Match.com trial membership?.

My 2nd question is: An article written for men but something for everyone to think about..

With love, as with gambling, you need to know when to hold and when to fold. Ponder these nine considerations before proposing to determine whether the long-term potential is strong..

Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, Men's Health.

Women are notoriously bad at recognizing "The One." We nurture dreams of marriage after one great date. We abide by draconian rules about who's our "type." And, most of all, we fall over and over again for men who are the human equivalent of dirty-water dogs..

Conversely, we're experts at knowing a good woman for you when we see her it's embedded in the female genetic code. And, just as important, we can spot a bunny boiler in the making..

You're at a disadvantage, especially when smitten. Which is why you need our list of questions you must ask yourself about your gal before offering her a permanent position. Our grading scale: Three strikes is forgivable, otherwise neither of us would pass our own test. (Em is not terribly quick on the credit-card draw when out with her fianc, and Lo's gym visits are rarer than an Amazon River dolphin.) Four strikes is a bit sketchy, though, and as for five or more don't make us say, "We told you so.".

1. Are you the center of her universe?It might feel nice to be worshipped for a while, especially if you've just been dumped, but that'll get old fast particularly when she calls four times during the season finale of The Wire..

She's a keeper if ... she has at least one non-work-related hobby she's passionate about. It means she knows how to have fun without a man and that she won't need you constantly by her side. And if she continues to make time for her own friends (loyalty is good), she won't freak out when you plan a poker night..

2. Has she insisted on paying for some dates, or at least the drinks?We know an uptown sort of lady who boasts to her friends, female and male, "I have never had to pay for a drink in my life." According to her retro worldview, men pay for everything, and her boyfriends wait on her hand and foot while she watches Desperate Housewives..

She's a keeper if ... she likes treating you sometimes. It means she'll approach relationships in a more egalitarian way and when she says she'll take you for richer or poorer, she'll mean it..

3. Has she always exercised?If she still has her seventh-grade swimming trophy and a collection of 10-K T-shirts, chances are she'll work out for decades to come, which means the great butt and killer legs that first grabbed your attention are here to stay. But those who go on exercise binges (is that a Tae Bo tape?) or fad diets, only to lose interest quickly, are destined for saddlebags. And if, like the girlfriend of a certain friend of ours, she stays slim by eating a plain celery stalk for dinner every night, pack her a nice sandwich before you dump her..

She's a keeper if ... you can set your watch to her 30-minute gym visit. An active lifestyle means way more than having shuffled through a half-marathon 6 years ago..

4. Does she ever surprise you?A just-because present, perhaps? We know it sounds hokey. But we're not talking about a throw pillow bearing a photo of the two of you and the inscription "2gether 4ever" (unless it's a gag gift, in which case she's hilarious and a total keeper). No, we mean the little things that say she's thoughtful and likes the idea of taking care of you..

She's a keeper if ... she notices that you're out of shaving cream and buys some; you arrive for a date using Match.com and she's cooking, with a good bottle of red already breathing; she initiates sex..

5. Does she hate her job?Our friend John dated a woman who always complained about work. "Turns out," he told us, "all that criticizing was just a cover for being hopeless at her job and her excuse for not getting off her butt to improve the situation." She wouldn't take responsibility for her own happiness, so she tried to find a sense of purpose in him a burden nobody needs..

She's a keeper if ... even if she's not in her dream job yet, she has a plan for getting there..

6. Does she always agree with you?Yawn. You want a girl with an opinion. Not an annoyingly constant devil's advocate, but someone who will hear out your position and defend her own. A study found that couples who have heated spats but then make up have a better future in the sack than best-friend couples who never fight. Sparks are hot..

She's a keeper if ... once in a while she plays Ann Coulter to your Al Franken. Or Maureen Dowd to your Rush Limbaugh..

7. Are your Zodiac signs compatible?Trick question. If she cares, worry..

8. Do you have a sneaking suspicion that she may be brighter than you?That's a good thing. We've found in our own love lives that relationships are best when each thinks the other is a bit smarter. Life is richer with a woman who can teach you a thing or two. There's a difference between a woman who says or does impressive things and one who says or does cute things..

She's a keeper if ... you're in bed and can't get something she said out of your head and it wasn't when the two of you were talking dirty..

9. Did she dare to ask you out or sleep with you on the first date?We can't tell you how many male friends have told us that first-date sex is a long-term deal breaker. It's time to upgrade your thinking, gentlemen. This unabashed passion probably informs her work, her play, her politics, her future kids, her future libido, and more. Our friends Melanie and Andrew, who got wasted and "went all the way" the first time they met, have been married for 5 years and have an adorable son. (And the sex is still very good. Hey, people tell sex-advice columnists everything.) Don't let a great girl get away because of your old-fashioned prejudices keep her!..

Comments (8)

I like #1, 2, 4, 5, 6, and 8. The only one I take REAL exception to is #3. That really bothers me. Not everyone goes to the gym (especially like clockwork) and not all guys want a girl who is a gym rat. Any woman who struggles with a weight issue is automatically not a "keeper"? I find that to be complete BS. Besides, I know LOTS of girls who were really active in high school and now are obese...

Comment #1

...I guess being able to get three "Strikes" is okay but that one still bothers me since I don't think it's a criterion for a successful relationship (thru Match.com) at all..

Comment #2

I like the article although, like secretlobster, I disagree with # 3. I go to the gym, but have several friends who can't fit it into their schedules. Besides, I hope that the man who wants a woman who uses the gym, does so himself..

I think I'll 'borrow' this.

 ..

Comment #3

I noticed that one too. My husband and I were both overweight when we met, so that one wasn't on the list for either of us. But then just the normal sort of aches and pains you start getting after the age of 35 actually got us started on almost daily trips to the gym together...

Comment #4

I know this is just a fun quiz...I'll answer for fun.  It would be interesting to have a "are you a keeper" quiz for men, too!.

YES, I have hobbies outside of my bf and am passionate about many things outside of the relationship..

I don't pay for any meals but I do cook for him once or twice a week or I might pay for theatre tix if they are my idea (I get them bargain, though). So, I DO give back, definitely..

I don't go to the gym but I've always exercised my whole life, with or without a bf.  I exercise much more than my bf now... I truly wish he liked to be more physical..

I have brought him little gifts...like girl scout cookies, and kitchen stuff...and maybe I surprise him with my outfits and or ideas for dates.  I think he appreciates my enthusiasm for creative things to do and places to go..

The work issue is my weakness...I don't have a career and I am with a CEO!!!  This is something I definitely want to improve upon..

No, I do not always agree with my man...this is a hard one for me because you never want to argue but still need to express yourself sometimes.  I try not to be too opinionated and always like to practice respectful discussion.   Sometimes my bf gets a stern tone to his voice....

I don't care about astrology..

My bf is very bright but on some issues, I feel I am brighter.  LOL.

And, yes, I am passionate with him, totally..

I guess I would be considered a "keeper" but I definitely need to get more organized in the home..

Soliel..

Comment #5

What exactly is the criteria you're talking about?.

,..

Comment #6

"Has she always exercised?".

Edited 4/18/2009 4:59 pm ET by secretlobster..

Comment #7

That you and your husband are embarked together on a losing weight campaign is wonderful - couples who have mutual goals are ahead of the game.

,..

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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