I have never read a post as long as yours...and I have to admit that I skipped some parts (I got the gist). I had to respond because you took the time to type such a lengthy post and no one else responded so far. "Rejection for the past 20 years has NOT been fun."This could be because you put yourself in situations where you are likely to get rejected. I don't have much experience with this, but it's a guess. While reading your post, I got the feeling that you hang out with the wrong kinds of people, and instead of learning from your mistakes...you continue to go and repeat them all over again. Why?Your self esteem seems very poor.
Did you ever think about taking the time to talk to a therapist/psychologist? You need to do something positive for yourself! After reading your post I am so sick of hearing about guys! Haha, stay away from them for awhile until you learn to pick the good ones.Jen..
Your post is way too long. I tried to read the whole thing, but skipped to the end. .
You need to think about all the relationships in your life, find the trend, find the mistakes you made, *and dont repeat them*..
It sounds like you dont know exactly what you want in a man and in a relationship. You need to figure that out for yourself as well. ..
Good Grief!! Living with someone you don't love, or even really like, is a great way to keep real relationship (thru Match.com) potential at bay. You can't find anyone better if you're with the wrong guy. Sounds like you settled, just to not be alone. When being alone isn't all that bad sometimes. Sounds like low self esteem. You rather be with the wrong man than be alone.
Look at the choices, controlling, a cheater, a manic, lazy & unmotivated man. (we were very stable financially and he would use it to control me. My parents are wealthy, and he knew I was used to a certain way of life)<<< You let him control you. Being used to a way of life has nothing to do with it. >>>>He said he has accomplished nothing, and he'd prefer to date using Match.com a woman who also hasn't accomplished much.
He hasn't had a date using Match.com in years. His last girlfriend was 3 years ago. He isn't that attractive. It makes me wonder what's wrong with me? Our chemistry has been amazing. I don't understand.
I'm just going to not think about that conversation, but also not think about chemistry or interest.>>>> He's unmotivated & wants a girl who won't be "better: than him. Ooo hott! DO think about it. DO act in your best interest, & don't try to date using Match.com a guy you don't have any feelings for. Don't put your head in the sand again. Same with Ted, he doesn't think well of himself, so NEXT! him.
I know that fades eventually, but I wish I could start with it. Every man I have had a taste of it with has not really cared. Yes, I cheated ONCE years ago. Am I still being punished for that? Am I being punished for dating (online dating with Match.com) men I didn't love? I have sworn off men for years. I would think maybe that would be penance enough? I am older.
I have unbelievable guilt. <<< In the end, I'm thinking you don't have enough standards. You let the guys lead everything. If they want to go out, you go along, with out having to make any real decisions for yourself. Guilt has no purpose, stop dragging it around with you.
That won't keep a relationship (thru Match.com) going. What else do you bring to the relationship (thru Match.com) bargaining table.
Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha..
Oh, dear. I can totally relate to what you're saying! I haven't had as bad of luck as you in past relationships, but I hate that I am 36 still single and can't seem to find a date, let alone a boyfriend or husband. I am attractive and successful and I have a ton of trouble with men. That whole 'only the guys I don't want want me' thing is very familiar to me so I feel your pain. I've had a few relationships die simply because I wasn't 'into' the guy sexually. Meanwhile, every guy I am into that way seems to reject me. I think our plight is not all that uncommon and I am curious to know what causes this fate for some of us..
Do seek therapy if you haven't. I've been doing that for about a year and a half now. It isn't getting me any closer to 'Mr. Right', but at least I am getting a handle on what I've done right and wrong in the past. I'm experiencing a bit of a relapse into hopelessness right now because the last crush I had rejected me and I'm facing up to that now. I look through pages of online dating (online dating with Match.com) profiles and all I can say is 'meh!' I'm looking for another one of him and he just isn't there. I'm just not into the idea of dating (online dating with Match.com) at all right now, and I want to recognize that and grant myself a break from seeking a 'mate' but I am getting older, and though I don't want children I fear that I have an expiration date..
I don't mean to bring you down with my story. I wish I had an answer for you. Just take some time to look at yourself and your behavior, through therapy, or whatever means you can, and you may begin to free yourself from this trap. We are still young and we owe to ourselves to seek happiness before it's too late. Don't give up hope and don't settle! That's not what life and love are all about!..
Your post was so long I did not read all of it. My dear you are jumping from one relationship (thru Match.com) into another. In other words from the frying pan into the fire. Stop dating (online dating with Match.com) for a while, allow yourself to heal from these broken relationships. From your post you come off as very desperate. Take time out to have fun just for you, learn about you, do things with family and gf's, work, vounteer. If you dont do this you will keep repeating the same mistakes. Once you have gone through this grieving/healing process both your heart and head will know you are ready to start dating (online dating with Match.com) again. You will know what you want and dont want and will not allow yourself to be used by any man. It will take a while maybe a year or more, but it will be well worth it. No man is worth lowering your moral standards for. Take them back and I wish you the best..
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My next door neighbor.
Wants to ban all guns.
THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.
Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.
Them with my guns..
The main reason you aren't going to find true love is because YOU don't LOVE yourself. If you did you wouldn't jump from one to the other, just to not be alone and repeating the patterns as you go...that is the definition of insanity.All these bad relationships have one common denominator..and that is you. Work on the mistakes you have made in the past, don't repeat them, make yourself and your life happy first, before looking for someone else. If you don't love/respect yourself, no one else is going to...
Eve. I read the whole post. I enjoyed your story and got some intuitive "hits" or feelings when I read your post..
I am not feeling the same thing as the other posters. When I was reading, I thought "what an interesting charasmatic woman". I didn't see low self-esteem but just a woman who is perplexed and confused at her luck in finding love..
I really enjoyed the "pluck" I felt in your personality while reading this. I enjoyed reading your trying this and that and being human. I really enjoyed it all. Your post reads like a really interesting biography. You can be proud of that! At least your life is interesting!.
My feeling in reading your story is we all have a path in life. I am thinking your path is your special lesson/destiny to work out. .
It doesn't mean to give up, however. You always keep trying. Your story maybe one that you find love later in life. There are many who do and it's OK. .
I have "issues" in life that don't seem to go away, at least not easily. My issues are different from yours because I have different lessons to learn. We are meant to have them and learn something...I think the best attitude to take is "I am willing to learn whatever it is to learn" so you can quickly move past any bad luck and have a new turn of events..
You seem very lively and likeable. It's cool you are into musical theatre. Forgive any mistakes you may have made...you were just trying tomake life work. Keep being you and I think you'll figure things out..