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How to deal with unsupportive family during Nutrisystem?

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So I finally got over the fact that my own mother can not say anything positive about my choice to get healthy, and then I talked to her this morning. She starts complaining how my brother is getting fat like his girlfriend, and that they came in the other night with a bag of double stuffed oreos and chocolate frosting. They sat and ate the whole thing together. Okay, point taken. Really unhealthy, but she is no skinny minnie herself. I let it go.

I have to say, I agree with him. You really need to stop this diet nonsense. There is nothing wrong with you.".

After I am taken aback, I explain to her that in no reality, is 160 pounds at 5'4" HEALTHY, and that I am getting healthier, not sicker. What they are seeing is a person that is healthy, and eating plenty of nutrients, not some sick waif. Of course she started talking about my big bones etc,. Hello?? No one's bones are so big that my old weight would be considered healthy for my height. It didn't work to tell the other kids that when I was in school, and it sure as heck doesn't fly now. Big boned only means that I might get away at being a healthy weight at 130 pounds, not 160.

Okay. Rant over, but jeeze! I'm going to eat my veggie stuffed mushrooms and hearty minestrone now, before I fall over and wither up...

Comments (15)

Your question was: How to deal with unsupportive family during Nutrisystem?.

Marie, you're awesome. That's gotta be one of the best quotes I've read in a long time!..

Comment #1

I agree with Marie. Enough is enough. Just because they can't/won't make healthy lifestyle changes doesn't mean that your chosing to do so is wrong. It's always easier to critisize rather than support or get on board. You've got your supportive Nutrisystem family to back you up. Now go put on some steal toed boots and meet up with your brother for a chat!..

Comment #2

I am going through the same thing with my Mother. I am told by family members that my Mother is jealous of me and my sucess of losing weight, quitting smoking 8 years ago, and other successes I've accomplished. I hate to say it, but i'm starting to believe that is true..

Perhaps your family is jealous of your success as well...

Comment #3

LOL!! My husband keeps randomly wandering by saying, "You need to EAT! You're wasting away! I can almost see around you!" Men...

Comment #4

I know you aren't supposed to "hit" your mother but I would be more mad at her than your brother!!!! Mothers are suppose to be supportivebrothers maybe optional! Sad to say they both sound a bit immature or at least uneducated about health problems and issues. You keep up the good work and just come back to your Nutrisystem family hereyou will get all the help you need and we will also help kick A$$at least figuratively, anyway!..

Comment #5

Tell her you're not on a diet, just eating healthy and maybe she should think about it herself if she wants to stick around and be a bully to her family. Or is that mean?..

Comment #6

Oh I call it a diet. But then I use the first and second definitions (a and b) of the word.

Diet:.

1 a : food and drink regularly provided or consumed b : habitual nourishment c : the kind and amount of food prescribed for a person or animal for a special reason d : a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one's weight <going on a diet>.

2 : something provided or experienced repeatedly <a diet of Broadway shows and nightclubs  Frederick Wyatt>..

Comment #7

It's definitely jealousy...pure and simple. The fact that you are taking charge of your life, eating healthy, loving it AND looking thinner and thinner....

Y'know what I'd say?? "Thanks, Mom...I'll really give your advice the consideration it deserves!!" LOL.

I know it's tough to ignore your family when they get down on you, but THIN is the best revenge!!!!! Keep on keepin' on, girl.....

Comment #8

The sad part is we can choose our friends but can't choose our family..

But we can choose to not listen to them and that is definately a pair I would not want to listen to regularly. No one needs that..

Shana..

Comment #9

Lisa, that is unbelievable!!!!.

Misery loves company baby girl! Ignore it. I bet you look great. I'm in the 160's. 5'4 and my family is like "you're getting so thin!" and "Why do you want to lose more weight?!"... Well because I am STILL not at an acceptable weight for my height. I struggle with thyroid issues so I have to fight the fluctuations that come with that too.



I don't care. I don't have to answer to them! I have to answer to my dietitian when he said my weight is still a bit high and he'd like to see me in the 130-140 range and even though my cholesterol has rapidly plummeted with the 56lb weight loss... Still room for improvement..

We are all trying to be the best we can be!.

I think you're doing just fine and they can bite it...

Comment #10

Lisai have had issues with my mom too making not so nice comments to me as well through out the years....i have moved away from her though...in the last couple years I have moved about 3 hours away from her and sometimes, if she has gotten under my skin too much, I just don't talk to her for awhile.....i know that sounds kinda mean, but sometimes I just need a break from her. I don't see her that often, but when I do see her the next time, I am hoping to be down enough weight that she will notice.

Try giving her the silent treatment for a little while and when she asks why...tell her that you didn't have anything nice to say so you chose not to say anything at all...

Comment #11

I have two different views on this. Yes, mom should not be making those kinds of comments to you, but in her defense, she was brought up in a different era when plump was the norm and toothpicks were not. Most adults today have no clue as what a "healthy" weight is or how they should look - after all, most are exposed to the two extremes (obese and anorexic) only. However, your brother has absolutely NO excuse for his behavior. To get even with him, print out the statistics on men his age who are overweight/obese and the ages at which they can die from heart attacks, clogged arteries, prostate issues, etc. Then, you can explain to both of them that you would prefer living to a ripe old age (say, oh 100 or so) than to dying young due to diabetes, heart trouble, etc. And for the record 160 @ 5 ft 4 is definitely NOT big boned and is without question unhealthy - - - unless you are Garfield, then it's not big bones, you are UNDERTALL, not overweight!!!..

Comment #12

Thanks everyone. I always know I can get support and tough love here. My mother has a whole slew of problems that usually end up causing ME stress. Her doctor told her at her weight and current blood pressure and cholesterol level, he gives her 10 years tops. Tried helping her through a shopping list, and after 4 days she gave up and said that's what her medication was for, and she shouldn't have to change her eating too. Whatever.

Ah well. As was pointed out, we can pick our friends, but not our family!..

Comment #13

Oh, not in my mom's case. My mother's family were ALL twigs. And they all modeled at different points in their lives. I was always envious of my mother and aunts because they were disgusted when they had to wear size 6s (and you know, back in the 80s, 6 jeans were TINY) after having kids. I once blew up at my mother that I never had the luxury of being that skinny, and she shouldn't act like she was so fat, because it made me feel like the ugly duckling of the family. Now the tables have turned, and she doesn't like it. Now it's my turn to be the best I can be, whether they like it or not...

Comment #14

It's always your turn to be the best you are able to be! Remember that, "What others think of me is none of my business!" I'm joining the "Tell them to kiss your a$$." posters. A"see"tually, I'm betting your mom's about my age, & remembers '60s models like Twiggy, who were flat"see"hested & rail thin, & roll models for eating disorders, so why don't you just tune all that negative "see"riti"see"ism out & hang out here with your Nutrisystem " 'nothermothers" for en"see"ouragement & support! Nutrisystem su"see""see"ess to you! Kat D..

Comment #15

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This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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