How to create a new account on

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My question is: How to create a new account on

My 2nd question is: Would really appreciate some advice.  I have a male friend, we get along great and have known each other about 10 months.  Since around late August/early sept we've talked alot more and over a few weeks we had several long conversations about relationships (initiated by him).  He told me what he wanted, what he gave and questioned me about what I wanted in a relationship (thru and from a guy.  He dug deep asking me if I'd be with a guy who wasn't where he wanted to be, if I'd end a relationship (thru with a guy if he wasn't affectionate etc.  All this led me to believe he was interested in me and everything he said really resonated with me..

One day unprompted said he wasn't sure if he should have a relationship (thru because he's had his heart broken a few times and was wary of getting hurt again but for the most part he spoke as someone who wanted a relationship.  We continued talking and a couple of weeks later we slept together.  Later, following another comment from him about being unsure of getting involved I asked him what was happening between us and he said we were friends.  Long silence.  He said he wasn't ready to get involved, it took him a long time to open up.  He couldn't guarantee he might not want to get involved further down the line, but not now.  So I wrestled with this and decided not to sleep with him again..

We carried on talking.  We talk a couple of times a week usually for an hour or two and he's told me he's learnt so much from me.   I cooked him dinner 2 weeks ago but didn't sleep with him. The following week he invited me over to watch a film he thought I'd like, assured me he didn't expect to sleep with me, cooked me dinner and we talked.  I was the one who jumped him (oh silly me)..

Anyway, that evening he called to make sure I got home okay and we we were talking when he said that he doesn't want a relationship (thru because he's not where he wants to be in life, he's self-employed and trying to get his business started and doesn't want the distraction and he can't give what he wants to be able to give.  When I tried to take the conversation further he said we'd had a nice day and he didn't want to spoil it..

I'm really confused, I feel I'm getting conflicting messages.  Or maybe it's really obvious but 2 1/2 years of celibacy have confused me and I'm just making a fool of myself.  Does this guy just want to be friends?  I genuinely like him and I know he likes me as a person.  Should I leave it at that or be patient?  Thanks...

Comments (3)

That was to the point.  REALLY made a fool of myself didn't I.  Used to be so on the ball about stuff like this, guess it's been such a long time since I met someone I liked so much I just really wanted it to go somewhere. ..

Comment #1

YOu didn't make a fool of yourself..  You just let yourself get carried away because he was showing some interest in you and you liked him.  You are right in that he wasn't clear - asking all those relationship (thru questions, then sleeping with you and THEN telling you he doesn't want a relationship (thru - why didn't he make that clear BEFORE hand?  So he lays it all out on the table AFTER you have sex with him for the first time and then of course you have these fuzzy warm feelings and hope that it will turn into more, despite what he said - especially since he is still wanting to hang out with you.  Don't beat yourself up..  You were getting mixed messages.  However going forward, you now know this guy is not for you - don't waste your energy on a guy that 'isn't ready', who knows how long it will take for him to get his act together and why should you put your life on hold until then?  There is no bigger self-esteem destroyer than wasting your emotional energy on a guy that doesn't feel the same way about you..

Moving right along...



Comment #2

You didn't make a fool of yourself but if you continue on with this in hopes of it becoming something, you're going down the wrong path.  I disagree with the other poster that he's given mixed messages.  Yes, he slept with you, but since then, he's been nothing but clear that he's not looking for a relationship.  And yet you jumped him anyway.  He may have figured that you knew what you were getting into and were OK with a FWB situation.  But you know you're not.  You need to let this one go if you want more.  He's not in a place to give you more now and you will only get hurt.



Comment #3

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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