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My question is: How much is membership?.

My 2nd question is: My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago.  It was horrid.  We weren't yelling or saying cruel things to each other - nothing like that.  But we still said things we didn't mean.. or rather, didn't phrase things in exactly the best way. .

We were both really shocked and miserable at the end.  He was the one dumping me, but gawd, he sounded awful.  He was sobbing softly.  I asked him if he wanted to be friends and he didn't answer. .

So this weekend, I tried to move forward on a more positive note and offered friendship again (via IM), which he didn't answer to again.  So basically I think he is rejecting that..

I guess it is too soon for him.  Or maybe he just doesn't want to know me at all, who knows.  The latter hurts of course..

I'm crushed about the break-up, but he and I so click.  I'm ok with being friends.    I don't want to get back together with him romantically, because he already broke-up with me.  That ship has sailed for me, personally.  But as a friend, I think we'd still have so much fun together..

I know the ball is in his court now.  I already put myself out there by reaching out to him and offering friendship.  It is up to him to contact me in the future, whenever that may be, if at all..

Anybody else have experience with this?.

Just writing for any thoughts/comments..



Comments (6)

I had a very similar situation happen.  We were together 4 years and when we broke up in June we didn't "hate" eachother or "cheat" or any of that.  We just grew apart.  I still wanted to be friends, he was crying and said he already missed his girls (the dog and I) lol - but when push came to shove, he didn't want to remain friends..

I changed everything I was for him, and gave him everything - he did none of that, but he decided he couldn't handle being friends.  Weak, pathetic, and immature.  All of what men can be sometimes..

I would just give up on the idea of being for me, 4 months later, I am dating (online dating with and realizing that being true friends would only hurt me in the end.  And make it THAT much harder to get on and be positive!.

Good luck!..

Comment #1

Hi!  Thanks for your response. .

Well, we haven't grown apart.  Something has mroe thrown us apart - as in geography .. just bad circumstances...

It's just hurtful to me that after all we have meant to each other, that he doesn't want to be friends with me.  .

In my case, it will not hurt me more to be friends with him.  Otherwise, I wouldn't not have offered that.  I offered friendship to him because I only see fruits from it - hanging out and enjoying each other as friends..

Yes, I am still licking my wounds from the breakup.  I mean, it was just a week ago.  But I'm ok with being friends right away and just talking normal, sharing things about my day etc without romantic stuff.  I don't even want him back in that way!.

On the other side of it, I do understand that other people need more time. .

I agree with Blair and what I see as "Weak, pathetic, and immature" with him is his non-response to my offer.  He just has said nothing.  Don't get why he can't manage a verbal answer.  Sigh.  Whateverrrrrrrrrrrrr!..

Comment #2

Maybe because he knows you probably wouldn't accept No as an answer, you would want more detailed answers as most women do....he doesn't want the drama, he is hurting right now, leave the guy alone.  .

I think you are deluding broke up 1 week ago and you are ok with being friends?  To me that means the feelings you had for him weren't much to start with other than as a friend, maybe that is why he broke up with you..

"But I'm ok with being friends right away "  That says alot, you might be ...but evidently he isn't and calling him immature, pathetic and weak becuase he doesn't respond they way YOU think he should sounds pretty immature to me..


Comment #3

Don't exactly get why you would think I wouldnt accept "No" for an answer, like you know me. .

And if you think it's acceptable to just straight out ignore someone you love than you're the one with the problem, not me..

And I'm not talking ignoring an email.  It is a live format in IM. .

I didnt say he had to say YES to friendship.  A total non-response is what is disrespectful,  immature and weak.   .

If you're going to attack me and put out negative energy, don't bother responding.  It doesn't mean you can't be honest.  You just dont need to be an ass. .


Comment #4

I totally agree with 'sassisiz .No wonder your bf broke -up with you and no wonder he is ignoring any type of contact as well.If he is so "disrespectful, immature and weak." why bother about losing him??would you want a rship with such a guy? it's not negative energy,its the truth which you must face even if it's not what you want to hear or deal with in real life.PEAce...

Comment #5

I am sorry to say this because I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I also agree with sassisizz. He broke it off, why should he continue contact with you? Breaking up is not always easy. Being friends immediately after a breakup is one of the worst decisions possible when two people need to heal. If I were him, I'd possibly ignore the "friendship" request too. Try to stand in his shoes for a second; I'm not saying sympathize with him, but from his perspective, can he be entirely sure you just want to be friends and don't want to just keep a foot in the door to the relationship? I don't think he's being , he's a human being trying to do the best thing for himself. How you interpret his actions isn't his priority anymore.You should move on, now and after any breakup.

It's only been a week...

Comment #6

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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