I agree with the previous poster concerning the STD, with that said....
I think you have a bigger problem. The guy is still in a relationship (thru Match.com) (regardless of what he says) to me that means he is not a trustworthy person. If he wanted out of the relationship (thru Match.com) he would end it and stop giving excuses. What happens if you start dating (online dating with Match.com) him, he decides the relationship (thru Match.com) is not for him, instead of being man enough to end it he messes around with someone else until his b*lls grow big enough to end it with you? How would that make you feel? If he does it with you, he will do it to you..
There is a reason most relationships that start out as this does, do not work, most people need need time to heal after one relationship (thru Match.com) starts before having a healthy relationship (thru Match.com) with someone else. A relationship (thru Match.com) that is not built on a foundation of honesty, trust, respect will not survive. This relationship (thru Match.com) does not have those as part of the foundation. He isn't honest with his present gf, he isn't trustworthy, and he doesn't respect either one of you..
Once he breaks up with her, heals from that, then he might be ready for a relationship...until then you are asking for trouble. It is not a wise move to start a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone when they are still in a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone else...
This guy not only has herpes, he's still in a relationship (thru Match.com) so technically cheating by spending time with you. Look into the future, could he be doing this to you too?.
Thank you all so much for the wonderful advice. I have been having such a hard time trying to analyze this guy. I found out that he has a trail of jumping from one relationship (thru Match.com) to another through our talks. I am 38 yrs old so I am looking for a long term possibly life long relationship (thru Match.com) at this point. And yes, him hanging out with me while he is still "technically" in a relationship (thru Match.com) is a major red flag. I don't want to invest too much emotion on him so he can do a 180 on me like how he had treated his ex-gf. Do you think my asking him out is why he is even giving me the light of the day? Because there was really no flirting between or lots of talking between us two before I ask him out. He says it himself...I came out of nowhere and was a major surprise for him. ..
That is where a lot of women go so wrong, trying to analyze everything to death..
Most guys are pretty straight up with what they say, only as women we tend to either look the other way or try to analyze it to make it what we want to hear..
"Do you think my asking him out is why he is even giving me the light of the day? More than likely yes, most guys if they have a true interest in you will actually make the time, ask you out, and want to get to know you...
Ellamae, since he hasn't made a move to do something about his tendency to hop from one relationship (thru Match.com) to another, chances are you'd just be another link in a long chain. His STD issue would be something to take into consideration if he were available for a relationship (thru Match.com) and he didn't have the history he does. Why would you even consider dating (online dating with Match.com) someone who is so dubious?.
"I don't want to invest too much emotion on him so he can do a 180 on me like how he had treated his ex-gf.".
So then honestly why do you even bother to give him the time of day? Why would you want to jump into something that doesn't look really great from the start? Okay you came out of nowhere and you were a surprise to him, that doesn't change his life or make him a different person. I'd be surprised if he hasn't said that to someone else before, even if he truly FEELS it is true. Let him spend some time as a single guy so he can learn how to break up rather than cheat, and get his head straight. dating (online dating with Match.com) another woman right out of another relationship (thru Match.com) is just continuing his own cycle even if he doesn't want to believe it...
Sassisizz and Undercover,.
After hearing all the advice on this board I now see clearly how wrong this relationship (thru Match.com) is from the get go. I don't even know if you can call it a relationship (thru Match.com) at this point since we had started on the wrong foot. I am ashamed at myself for even considering to start something with this guy who was hopping from one bed to another. I actually got to know a little bit about the ex-GF from the social circle that I just joined. She used to be a student at the same dance studio I am in right now and heard nothing but good praises for her. She was a marriage-material, sweet, independent, well-mannered (words I heard from other people) girl. People can't seem to believe that they even part ways. Hearing all those from others kind of gave me a perspective that this guy is callous and dishonest gigolo. I really thought this guy is of good moral character. At least that is what he seemed to put out there. He has treated me so gentle on the few times that we have gone out. Opens up the door for me, something I have not experience in a while, and such a sweet person. Says all the right things. Then I look back and think...that's probably because he has a lot of practice from all the other women he had gone out with...
Well it's definitely something to keep in mind and to protect yourself from but millions of people have herpes and live with it. It's an individual decision for you; don't be pressured into anything you are not comfortable with.
"I am ashamed at myself for even considering to start something with this guy who was hopping from one bed to another".
Don't beat yourself up, nothing to be ashamed about...you made a mistake (we all do at times) as long as you learn from those mistakes and don't repeat them, then the mistake taught you something about yourself that will make you better in the long run, so it was a good thing..
Yes exactly, that is how he hops from one bed to another, he has had plenty of practice...always remember it takes time to get to know someone and if what they show you at first is who they really are, that won't happen with just a few dates..
There are guys out their that really are the way he pretended to be..