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How much are you required to share?

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I'm just interested in people's thoughts on this... when you start dating (online dating with Match.com) someone, how much are you required to tell them about what's going on in your life? I started dating (online dating with Match.com) someone new this weekend and he asked me about my plans for the following weekend. I might have another date using Match.com that weekend but I still really want to see him again. But we've only been out twice and I don't want to cancel my other date using Match.com just yet as we haven't expressed any intentions of being exclusive of course. I'm probably just going to tell him I'm busy Friday but free Saturday. I've never dated two guys at once like that and it feels weird to me to juggle because I'm so used to focusing on only one relationship (thru Match.com) at a time- plus I know that I'd raise my eyebrows if I was dating (online dating with Match.com) someone and they couldn't see me on certain days because they had other dates. Thoughts?..

Comments (6)

Your question was: How much are you required to share?.

Saying you have "plans" for Friday without being more specific is fine. I'm a big proponent of the "don't ask, don't tell" theory when it comes to dating (online dating with Match.com) more than one person at a time. Of course, if someone asks you whether you're dating (online dating with Match.com) other people, be honest, but there's no need to rub it in the guy's face or share any details.Sheri..

Comment #1

Your situation is just one reason I usually dont date using Match.com more than one guy at a time. If you say you have plans in a vague way, he might probe for more detail. Andif you dont reply in a normal way, he could get suspicious about what you are doing or assume you are closed and too guarded to share normal conversational items - thus a false rap. Likewise,it disqualifies you from probing about his activities. Since I am not experienced at this type of juggling, maybe some of the others on the board can be of more help...

Comment #2

<< I've never dated two guys at once like that and it feels weird to me to juggle because I'm so used to focusing on only one relationship (thru Match.com) at a time >>... but, you're not juggling relationships. Youre dating (online dating with Match.com) two guys. Big difference! When you're 'just dating' ... it should be assumed that your dating (online dating with Match.com) others and so is he. Nothing to feel bad about.Actually, it's smart! Because, if your not keeping your options open ...

You should definitely keep your prior plans. All this guy needs to know is that you already have plans for Friday. Which is the complete truth. Two dates does not = complete availability. It should be assumed that you have might have other plans..

Comment #3

I think there's very little you are required to tell someone about your life when you've just started dating.  Some of the up-front stats should be: marital status, living arrangement, employment or education.  I don't think you need to announce whether you're dating (online dating with Match.com) other people..

In your case, I think it should be sufficient just to say "I'm busy Friday, but how about Saturday?"   If he wants to know what you're doing, I'd say "I'm going to dinner (etc.) with a friend."  That should stop the probing... unless he comes right out and asks if you're dating (online dating with Match.com) others.  In that case, I'd be honest.  There's nothing wrong with dating (online dating with Match.com) more than one person ... it's not the same as "juggling" relationships, as someone already said.  Juggling, in my mind, would be if you're having sex with one or both of them and/or you've been seeing them both regularly and long enough that real romances have developed. .

Jilly..

Comment #4

Hey! I am going through the exact same thing (please read my post "Can I do it?").It can be challenging to date using Match.com multiple people at the same time....my logical mind says what some others have said in response to your post: if you're "just dating" then there's no reason to feel bad, guilty, or like you have to divulge. Of course, if you like both people, you know that eyebrows may be raised if they know you're dating (online dating with Match.com) other people. At the same time, unless you've confirmed exclusivity, then they should expect that you may be seeing others....it's a lot of stuff to think about. So, I'm sure I haven't helped any, especially since I'm asking the same question in my post...LOL. I will say this: if either of them asks, be honest. No need to lie.

No need to do that. Good luck!Rive..

Comment #5

At this point there is no reason to give him any exact details.  Just which nights you're busy and when you're available is fine..

,..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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