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How long do you think a person should be on Match.com before you realize you aren't ever going to fi

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My first question is: How long do you think a person should be on Match.com before you realize you aren't ever going to fi.

My next question is: This is a little follow up to my previous post...  Let me catch some of you up.  I work at the same company as man I am friends with, but at a different building.  We have been spending hours upon hours on the phone.  I definitely have developed feelings for him and thought they might be mutual.  (I mean, he's the only person I have ever spent 5 hours on the phone with!)  Last weekend, we thought we might hang out...but he didn't call.  He apologized many times, and had a logical story behind it.  I figured I would let that one slide...we all can be rude at some point. .

For the last few weeks, he has been BEGGING me to stay after work one night and show him how to use a new computer program.  At first, I was all for it, then decided he should just be trained by the techs at his building.  He continued to beg and I decided that it would be fine.  We spent an hour and a half on the phone last night, after both having a late night at work, and decided to meet today.  He wanted to meet half hour later than I did, but we compromised.  He never showed up!  I worked for about 45 min., but then left when I was done.  I am beyond upset...it's not like he's some creep off the street...we've gotten to be good friends..

Do I call and yell???  Or let him drop off the face of the Earth?  I'm not sure what to do...  I don't deserve to be treated with such disrespect.  Yet, if it was a friend I didn't have an interest in, I don't know if I'd be so hard on them.  HELP please!..

Comments (6)

Your question was: How long do you think a person should be on Match.com before you realize you aren't ever going to fi.

I think that you are right that if you only thought of him as a friend, you wouldn't be quite as mad, but he should have called or something.  He did the begging..

I'd let it go.  If he calls you, you can tell him how you don't appreciate what he did.  My friends wouldn't do this to me..

Go do something fun tonight and forget about him for at least a little while..

 .

           ..

Comment #1

You can either wait for him to call profusely apologizing for the screw up and just tell him that you've had enough of him and you'd prefer he not call you anymore or you can call him and let him know that you didnt appreciate being stood up and if he needs help with a computer program he should find help elsewhere..

What you dont want to do is a revenge tactic because you work at the same company.  It would be bad business foryou to start a war with someone over his jerkiness.  You never know ... one day he could end up as your boss or know the right people to make your life h*ll...

Comment #2

I wouldn't call it needing a revenge tactic. It's rude, extremely disrespectful.  I would definitely call him on it - you dont have to yell and scream but you deserve an answer.  And then, well, this isn't someone I would easily trust to make plans with.

,..

Comment #3

 You've gotten some really good advice here. I personally would NOT go out of my way to call him on it, I would on the other hand, call him on it the next time HE contacts you. This is the SECOND time he's done this. As they say, "The first time it happens, shame on him. The second time it happens, SHAME ON YOU.".

 In other words, he's being completely disrespectful and if you 'ignore' it, you're in essence ACCEPTING his bad behavior, by not calling him out on it, and telling him you will NOT tolerate this. YOU MUST DEMAND RESPECT!!.

 Be well....

 Z..

Comment #4

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who posted a calming resonse...  You were right, I didn't really need a revenge tactic as much as I needed to vent and get out my annoyed-ness.... .

He did call Friday night...and the first words out of his mouth were "I don't blame you if you never, ever wanted to speak to me again," followed by apologies.  He said he got caught up at work and as soon as he realized how late it was, he called and told me the whole story because he knows how much I value honesty.  I was still miffed and cut him off because I was in the middle of another call.  However, I did call him on Saturday night, and he apologized a thousand times more.  We talked for about 4 hours and since I knew I'd be shopping by his house Sunday, I suggested lunch.  Low and behold, he called me Sunday and we met up for lunch.  Perhaps it was the guilt...or just that he was finally ready to hang out alone...but we had a blast. .

I'm still not sure if Work Guy likes me, or if he's even over his ex....  But I must thank you all for calming me down...  Even if nothing comes of this, we have a really good start to a friendship, and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that.  (Now that I'm thinking more clearly...hehe...).

Have a great day!..

Comment #5

I did slip in points about respect and I think that's what hit home the most.  Thanks!!..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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