Your question was: How do you instat message someone on match.com?.
You are doing the right thing. You've been in a relationship (thru Match.com) with an emotional abuser, and you must get out safely. Please know that everything he has said to you is not true and only stems from his deep insecurity. You are not "worthless". If anything, he is threatened by your successes in life, and that is why he has become even more desperate to control you. DON'T GIVE IN AND TAKE HIM BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE BEGS OR PROMISES TO CHANGE! Trust me, these personalities rarely, if ever, change.
If he is showing up at your work, then he seems to be stalking you. It is very important that you take precautions to protect yourself, even if that means changing jobs or moving to another location. Right now, he still has hopes that he can manipulate you back, but once the reality sets in that you are not returning, this situation could escalate, so please do whatever you can to keep yourself safe..
<< Hope that someone can help on a problem that I am having here with my ex boyfriend. >>.
He's your EX boyfriend. Not your current BF. So, what's the problem? You shouldn't be having any 'problems' with your ex. Why? Because he's your EX for a reason (btw, all of the things you said ... those were all GREAT reasons that he's your ex ... you were right to break up with him)..
The problem is ... you're still communicating with him and giving him an opportunity to ask for another chance. If you were doing right by you, you would not be allowing him back in your life. At least, not without a lot of space and time inbetween.
If you keep telling him "over and over" ... then, hate to say it but ... that's YOUR problem. That IS the problem. .
When a person says << I told him that I wanted to be left along and I didn't want to date using Match.com no one at this time. >> as you have said, then ... you have to MEAN it. Which means, don't answer his calls. If he shows up at your work (which is a clear sign of disrespect), then promptly have security escort him out. Sorry, but you have to grow a spine here. ..
I dont see an "us" here. I see someone who has bullied you around for no apparent reason. Is there any reason that he is so hypervigilant about what time you come home? Do you live in a high crime area or has there been trouble in the past with other exes?..
The answer to your question.... No I do not live in a high crime area, I live in a very quite and safe area. No my exes live in a another area of the state and they dont even know where I live now. and they have never gave me a problem..