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How do you get rid of a match.com profile?

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My first question is: How do you get rid of a match.com profile?.

My next question is: I've often come to these boards to read the advice that people give to eachother in hopes of bettering my life...but the situation I am in was just screaming for me to finally get logged in and get some outside help!Situation: There is a young lady whom I have been friends with for nearly the past 6 years. We were great friends in college, there always seemed to be a flirty/sexual tension between us but we always seemed to have relationships at the same time so nothing was ever discussed or pursued. This is one person I have always been infatuated with. Problem: She just got out of a 2 year relationship (thru Match.com) about a month ago that didn't end so well. She is devastated, I've helped her get through a few tough nights as I had been through similar breakups.Some more background: We recently saw each other a few weekends ago (she lives about 3 hours away) and we had amazing chemistry. My friends were actually shocked when I told them that it wasn't my girlfriend or even ex-girlfriend for the matter.

Who knows, we may work very well together or we may just realize it won't happen. But all of this is in my mind and I want to step up to the plate. How do I let it be known that she is everything I am looking for? I don't know if I am overwhelming her or if there is anything I can do/avoid doing that would prevent me from trying too soon. I want to come out as her secret admirer on v-day but I doubt that would do the trick! She has always kept my mind flustered because I have this image of her being my dream girl and I hold her on this pedestal making it difficult for me to have enough confidence to let me feelings be heard.I would not be heartbroken if she did not feel the same way. It is just killing me to not know one way or the other..

Comments (6)

Your question was: How do you get rid of a match.com profile?.

There is a reason why people marry their best friends! .

I suggest asking her what she thinks about the 2 of you dating (online dating with Match.com) and seeing what happens. She may just be waiting for you to make a move or she may be fine with the way things are. The point is you won't know unless you ask!.

So - ask and see what she says! If she would like to explore this avenue with you but is still recovering from her recent breakup - she'll say so. If she just doesn't want to go there at all she say that too.

Toni..

Comment #1

"She has always kept my mind flustered because I have this image of her being my dream girl and I hold her on this pedestal making it difficult for me to have enough confidence to let me feelings be heard.".

Now...I dont understand how you can feel that way about yourself - I'm sure she likes you a lot.  First, knock her off the pedestal because she is no different than you.  If you keep her on the pedestal a couple of things are going to happen: 1) you will be disappointed as you get to know her because you have this image of her in your head and she will end up being normal like you 2) eventually she will feel the pressure of pedestal-life and not feel as though she can be a human with needs and feelings, like you..

If you have trouble discussing your feelings with her in person...have you thought of handwriting a letter to her? Or maybe insert the letter in a romantic card?  This way all of your feelings can get out and she'll feel it is soooo romantic that you put your feelings down on paper to her..

"I don't know if I am overwhelming her or if there is anything I can do/avoid doing that would prevent me from trying too soon." >  You've gotten to know her by now...go back in your mind and remember her conversations with you about the guys she has dated.  If she felt overwhelmed by anything a guy did...she probably told you about it.  You have the inside scoop - use it to your advantage!.

"I want to come out as her secret admirer on v-day but I doubt that would do the trick!"> why would that not work?  Coming out on that one day as someone who has admired her all of these years is great.  You just have to remember to make it romantic...not like a buddy.  Just dont do too many things under the "secret admirer" theme...it can get a little creepy after a while...

Comment #2

Ooh the friend zone dilemma. gotta ask you though, do you feel there is any sexual tension between the 2? any moments of awkwardness where you KNOW that she's just dying for you to cross that line? because once you put your feelings out there, regardless of the outcome, your friendship is gonna change (luckily she lives 3 hours away from you so that might not be so bad). if you want her to view you as more than just a friend, go visit her and take her out. act like a date using Match.com instead of her friend and make your intentions clear that you want something more than friendship. I wouldn't suggest putting anything in writing, I think she'll just feel immense pressure with something so tangible. it's all about the intangibles, the little things that make her smile when she thinks about you, the little attractions and what nots.

If there was some way for you to do the secret admirer thing but instead of writing something, build up a repore with her under the guise of a secret admirer and get her to meet you somewhere (look for the guy with the roses & green shirt kinda type deal) and sweep her off her feet. < not literally, but you get the idea. I guess what i'm saying is, do you really believe that the reason you haven't dated was because of timing? were you both always involved with someone else when the other was single? because the worst thing for a guy to hear when he's head over heels over a girl is "i can't lose you as a friend, you mean too much to me". make sure you get her thinking of you as more than just a friend before you spring this on her or it might just blow up in your face.good luck dude. we've all been there, and we're all rootin for ya.as for the confidence issue: if this is something that's eating away at you, if you just can't take her dating (online dating with Match.com) another guy that isn't you...

It's better to get those feelings out there than to not make a move and regret it forever...

Comment #3

FYI, when you posted under my entry, the OP does not get an email reply that you responded.  So, if the OP goes by email replies, he will not know you added to the thread.  In the future you might want to post under the original poster's entry...

Comment #4

You have to take a deep breath and just ask her.  I really like it when a guy is upfront with me.  I hate trying to figure out what you men are thinking.  I've decided I'm pretty bad at it!!! - LoL..

If you want to make the time when you ask special.  Take her to her favorite restaurant and order something special like champagne - she should get the hint that you are serious..

It's nice that you are worried that this might be too soon for her, but you don't want to miss out once again, so go for it!.

Good Luck,.

Krist..

Kristie..

Comment #5

It's too soon for her to really consider dating (online dating with Match.com) someone - if you "came out" with her feelings you might wind up being her rebound.  For now be a great friend, let her know how lucky you think the next man to have her will be, what a great person she is, etc.   You can say if she wants to be with a good friend Valentine's Day you 'd be happy to get together but don't put any pressure out there. Friendship is a great cement for a relationship (thru Match.com) but there is no rush..

,..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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