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How do you add a profile which you created to match.com for others to see.?

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My first question is: How do you add a profile which you created to match.com for others to see.?.

My next question is: Can anybody ive me some advice??? I have the man of my dreams been with me for 3 years and when we are together we laugh,snuggle,treats me like a queen!! Then he goes home to his wife,I knew he was married when I first met him,that was ok cuz I was looking for a friend and just got out of some personal issues and just wanted somebody to be with. He knew all my problems and worries and walked the path with me and never turned his back!!!Then we both fell inlove with each other but now that iam so much deep in love with him,he wont make a commitment with me cuz he says it's his kids who are 19,18,12 which are all have there own life now. Both my boyfriend and I have are own business toether and have invested many hours of time and money.Shuld I give him options?? Like it was my birthday and he never showed up nor called. Again I stand by waiting!!!!!!..

Comments (11)

Your question was: How do you add a profile which you created to match.com for others to see.?.

What do you need help with? Hop on over to the affairs boards and see what happens most of the time in affairs, and the damage it causes all involved. No offense.. but you got what you asked for, you knew he was married and it didn't matter to you, that was your choice and only yours. You have put yourself in this position by your actions.<<I knew he was married when I first met him,that was ok cuz I was looking for a friend and just got out of some personal issues and just wanted somebody to be with. He knew all my problems and worries and walked the path with me and never turned his back>> Of course he didn't turn his back because he wanted in your pants, he saw his opportunity and he took it, and you fell right in with it.<<Shuld I give him options?? No you should give it up..stop living in your "dream world" open your eyes, get some self respect for yourself and find someone that is not already in a relationship (thru Match.com) or married. Unless all you want for yourself is the scraps they give you.<<Like it was my birthday and he never showed up nor called.

They will always come before you. Just because his kids have their own life, they are still his children doesn't matter what age they are.HE is MARRIED meaning not free to be with you. Did you actually think he would leave his family for you? 85% of the time they don't, they are just looking for someone to boink. And even if he did why would you want a cheater (liar)? Not much of a catch IMO.He doesn't love you or he would leave his wife and be with you, he isn't doing that, he has you hook line and sinker but you are blinded by "love". Even if he were to leave his wife do you think he would actually be true to you and wouldn't screw around on you? WHY? That is what he is doing to his wife why wouldn't he do it to you I am sure he "loved" his wife at some point, but that didn't stop him from having an affair, and you are probably not the first one he has had one with.How can you believe anything he says? He is a liar and he has proven that for the three years you have been having the affair.

He is a cheater and ALL cheaters are liars, just a fact, if they didn't lie they couldn't get away with it. 98% of relationships that start as affairs... even if they do leave the spouse DO NOT last more than 2 years, because the relationship (thru Match.com) is not built on a solid foundation of TRUST, HONESTY and RESPECT, without those the relationship (thru Match.com) will fail. He has none of those for himself, his wife, his family or you. If he did he wouldn't have the affair, he would leave his wife and be with you, but that is not going to happen.What goes around comes around, and it will come back to bite you eventually.

Because that is all you will get with this guy...

Comment #1

I hate to break it to you but ... you're in denial.  He's married, he goes home to his wife.   Doesn't that tell you something?.

You don't have a boyfriend ... you have an affair partner, a married man.   You're not his girlfriend .... you're his mistress, the other woman.  There's no judgment in those statements.  Its just fact.  That is what it is.

If he wanted a commitment with you ... he'd divorce his wife.  But, he's not doing that.  And it's been 3 years!  Ay curumba!  Stop wasting your time and your life on this guy.   The 12-year-old certainly doesn't have his or her "own life now" ...that kid has 6 more years til adulthood.  And an 18 and 19 year old, while legally adults ... still rely on a lot on their parents.

What "options" are you considering giving him?   The only option here is ... get a divorce.  If he's not willing to do that ... then, start giving yourself some options!  The only option would be ... move on ... otherwise, you're wasting your time and your life waiting on him..

I won't even go into what type of partner he would be to YOU if you were so lucky (not!) to end up with him ... he would likely just end up doing the same to you that he's doing to his wife.  Be careful what you wish for...

Comment #2

What options would you like to give him?.

Other iVillage support boards:.

Ending an Affair Support.

My Affair Support.

Carrie..

Comment #3

He is married with kids - that reality isn't changing.  That you have a business together makes it much harder because you can't simply end contact with him but this settling for half a loaf (i.e. not even contacting you on your birthday) isn't going to change.  You are the one who has to change by not settling for this kind of relationship.

,..

Comment #4

Some people think it's easier to date using Match.com married men cause you don't have to put up with them all day every day, when your tired of them you can send them home to their wife and kids. I must say you opened up that can of worms. Did you really think you could have a "relationship" with a married man and not develop feelings for him? 3 years wow that is a long time to be the other woman, not being funny or rude you should of had better sense  to think that this guy was going to leave his wife for you from the looks of the ages of the kids they have been together a long time and you really think he's going to just throw that all a way? This man had his mind made up from the jump that he was only looking for someone to be with when the wife wasn't acting right, he just comes to get it from you not just sex but attention,affection,conversation, or just some one to make him feel like a 'man'.You said he treated you like a queen? What king do you know of that forgot his queens birthday? By him being married you know he can't just up and leave the wife at home to be with you, starting arguments,having business meetings, or having a guys night out can only work for so long. I mean he's got to be using lame excuses like that to get out the house. Honey wake up and smell the roses you and him being 'together' is never going to fall through. sorry but it's the truth..

Comment #5

He is married with kids. Three! He's made it clear they are his priority. Do you still want to be in this situation 3 years from now - three years older, three years more bitter and unhappy?.

,..

Comment #6

*sigh*...I just don't understand when women are going to get the memo..getting involved with a married man leads to heartache.

A married man is not your boyfriend. He is someone you are sleeping with.

Please take a look at yourself and see why you would be drawn to an unavailable man..take the energy you are expending on trying to build a "relationship" (I use that term VERY lightly) that is unhealthy and put it into building your self-esteem....

Cyclegirl..

Comment #7

I'm not the OP (I don't even date using Match.com men with kids much less married ones, ha!)..

Comment #8

I just went through this same scenario, dating (online dating with Match.com) a married man. actually to him it was just having casual sex but to me I figured it could be more.  .

When we first conversated by phone, he did tell me he was married, and how it wasnt going well. he also did indicate that maybe someone would be able to get him to leave his spouse. NOT TRUE...

This man is in the Navy and so is his wife. I have been in their house and we have had sex in their guest room several time. I have actually been in her sports car. .

The part that hurts me is that I was stupid enough to believe him and I allowed myself to develop feelings from this man.. not only that. I had just gotten out of a relationship (thru Match.com) 5 months prior and was still hurting from that.  He used to respond to my texts, he and I used to go to movies. he used to pick me up and we'd go back to his housethen all of a sudden there were rumors that he was hitting on other females. (we both work at same place) i work for company contracted by DOD and he works in mail room at the naval hospital. I have confronted him on many occasions about this and yet he still to this very day denies it. same story which never changes, but I knew there has to be another female now in the picture, because since his friends wedding in June, he hasn't been the same.

He says " Ill let you know, ill call u" but I'm tired of waiting.     .

I really care for him and I am hurting and seem to cant get over him but I am finding ways to keeping myself busy and loving myself more and more.  .

Best thing to do is just forget and move on... it will take time especially if you care a lot about this person, but don't let him see you hurt. he will feel you are vulnerable and then try to play you again..

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Comment #9

You have received excellent advise from all the posters.  You are in a no win situation..

Take back your life, learn from this, move on.  You will be happier..

 .

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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #10


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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