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How do I remove and prevent being redirected to match.com when going to regular websites like www.ji

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My first question is: How do I remove and prevent being redirected to match.com when going to regular websites like www.ji.

My next question is: My brother got dumped recently and he is really hurt. Please advise.He: Sweet guy but nerdy. Not much experience in relationships. Educated, professionally employed, reasonably good income.She (from what he told me): Very pretty. Single mom of 2. HS dropout, works as a cashier.

Trying to straighten out her life. Ex boyfriends were all abusers, drug addicts, in prison, etc.They had their only date using Match.com at Chuck E Cheese. Brother spent half the time talking to her, half playing video games and air hockey w/her son. He told me that the conversation w/the girl was mostly about her (mostly her issues) and only about him when he was steered the conversation in that direction; she only asked "cliche" questions about him. date using Match.com ended in a hug and plans to meet later that weekend.

She texted him saying that she isn't interested in him because he isn't her type.Exactly what did that text mean? Was it appearance (he is about average looking...looks a lot like Steve Carrell, and she said that she didn't mind that he is a few years older than her) or personality or something else? When you were dating (online dating with Match.com) and trying to get to know your date, approx. what percentage of the conversation was about him and what percent about you?Also, how much of a chance do you give someone before deciding that he isn't he one? How important was appearance to you in picking the right guy?..

Comments (13)

Your question was: How do I remove and prevent being redirected to match.com when going to regular websites like www.ji.

It's just a way of saying she's not interested in him.  It may or may not even be the truth.  He shouldn't spend any time analysing it...just because she wasn't interested in him, doesn't mean plenty of other women won't be..

Sheri..

Comment #1

Advice?  Tell your brother he should raise his standards.  Clearly, he could do better than someone with her issues.  I mean, seriously ... courts almost always side with a mother ... so, she's got to be pretty MESSED UP to only be able to see her kids once a week.  .

Given that ...why would he want to date using Match.com such a loser of a chick?.

It's up to him to raise the bar and pursue women who are educated, professional and have their you-know-what together.  I don't think a college education is the be-all-end-all ... but, is a HS graduate with their smarts too much to ask for?   I think not.   ;-)..

Comment #2

Everyone has preferences - it sounds like she is right - if he is is a good man with a good job, etc and she is attracted to abusers/losers and addicts - there is no way he could be 'her type' - he's emotionally and financially stable - she isn't. She's an emotional mess and he isn't.

He needs to see this as the blessing it is - woman who love the abusers and jackasses can never allow themselves to be treated well  - otherwise they wouldn't be abused and with a loser.

Looks have nothing to do with her being attracted to  losers - that's where her emotional maturity is. She doesn't believe she deserves better than abusers and such..

Basically Oil and Water don't mix. That's all he needs to get.

Toni..

Comment #3

It simply means that she doesn't want to date using Match.com him. It might be physical or mental, who knows, since she didn't give specifics then you will never know exactly what. Honestly I think that he is pretty lucky she came clean with him, he didn't even really get DUMPED since they only had one date... Maybe she wants someone who is as emotionally saddled as she.My successful dates have been very 50-50 as far as conversation. When it goes well, you just don't notice those things. Your brother dodged a bullet.

Really, would it have been better for him to get stuck with a woman who has drug issues and thinks a good place for a first date using Match.com is Chuck E Cheese with her kid?This one doesn't need analyzing at all...

Comment #4

Sounds like it's not a bad thing. First you do no take you kid to a date. Bad bad bad. Second,....she s only into her. Therefore that is why he isnt her type. She sunds crazy and sh may only wan someone to be into her. Tell your brother shes nuts and he should be sooo lucky to not be dating (online dating with Match.com) a crazy girl...

Comment #5

Type is type - or better said...  chemistry is just chemistry.  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  You cant force yourself to feel romantic about someone who just doesnt click with you. He can be nice, and have a lot of great qualities, and be a really together person but if the chemistry isnt there - then nothing will come of it.  There IS a woman out there who will click with him and he needs to focus on that opportunity..

The way people are today .. everyone pipes in about their lives when they can get an opening. No one really extends themselves conversationally anymore like they used to.   I think that the conversation should flow equally if a man or woman is interested in the other..

If she had their one date using Match.com with the kids present when she obviously has lots of time away from them .. then she isnt interested in him romantically and he shouldnt waste his time with her. She should have had the courtesy to talk to him and not text him that she wasnt interested..

Appearance - for me - is not about particular physial attributes. the men in my life have all looked different and some would be considered handsome to most and some would not.  it's about what makes you groove inside and can that other person groove to it with you?.

While you dont always see the whole person on one or two dates - you do get an idea about compatibility. So, a person could say "he's not my type" when it could also be about being compatible - similar likes and dislikes, hobbies, interests, goals in life..

I dont think your brother has much to worry about. .

 ..

Comment #6

Personally, I think he should consider himself lucky that he escaped relatively unscathed.  He sounds like a very nice guy who is inexperienced and yes, far too sensitive but overall a good guy.  He needs to not be so wrapped up in a woman that he went out with one time so that he feels "really hurt" when she doesn't want to pursue anything.  He was not dumped - being dumped implies that there was a relationship (thru Match.com) in the first place.  He went to Chuck E. Cheese and was a babysitter for her kid.  Good grief - she doesn't have her kids 6 days a week but picked the ONE day she has the kid to go on a "date"?  She's a real prize.  She has major issues and problems and even if he doesn't think so, he can do much better.  All he needs is some confidence and a good attitude and things can come around and look better..

No, he wasn't her "type" because she likes losers, abusers and drug addicts.  A nice guy who would treat her right isn't her thing.  But there are plenty of other women who do appreciate a good guy so he needs to get himself in places where he can find one..

 .

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 ..

Comment #7

I would agree with the other replies.  It seem like she wasn't very into him right away.   Could have picked a different day without her kid there..

That's why people date, to get to know the other person.  .

I think he's lucky to move on. .

As long as a guy takes care of himself, has good manners, is smart, has common sense, that should account for a lot...

Comment #8

Absolutely.  There's a lid for every pot, as saying goes.

,..

Comment #9

It's one thing to be involved with someone and stick with them when problems develop. But to get involved with someone who seems to have so many problems, well you don't do that if you feel good about yourself.

,..

Comment #10

It was just one date.  I think it was fine for her to text..

Edited 1/24/2009 1:37 am ET by blairbear89..

Comment #11

My first concern would be that he seems way overly sensitive if he finds it painful that nothing developed from a single date. They weren't in a relationship (thru Match.com) or anything else, so it's not exactly even being dumped. I don't see how he could be feeling any attachment at all so quickly. Finding someone special takes time. On average, there's going to be a lot of girls that he'll only see once and things won't progress. And yes, she's a total loser so it's actually good for him that he's not her type. Her type of men are total losers...

Comment #12

When we feel good about ourselves we are attracted to people who treat us well and think well of themselves. When we dont feel good about ourselves we gravitate to those who will confirm that negative opinion.

,..

Comment #13


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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