Your question was: How do I keep yahoo from blocking my e mails sent to me from match.com?.
That depends on the person. I do know someone that cheated once, and is now in a six year relationship (thru Match.com) (with a different person mind you) and hasn't cheated since that time. I know the cheater, so I can say with fairly good certainty it was that one time..
However I know someone who has cheated, and is currently on the verge of doing it again. However, everytime they go to break up - they somehow get talked out of it... thus the verge of cheating. I realize I'm the one keeping this person from commiting the act a second time. (different people from the first time) So, it probably would be happening had I not advised against it.
So, yeah. That's not really helpful, aye? But it's up to your judgement. I know for me, I'd be wary to say the least..
What has he said to you by way of explanation and apology for his actions? I'm assuming the two of you had clearly and mutually agreed to be exclusive when he did this?.
I do think that people can change their values so that cheating is no longer an option for them but it takes a lot of hard work to do so. That's what I'd want to know about this guy. Has he done the work to change his values?.
There are many people who believe that 'once a __________, always a __________' - in your case, someone who may be untrustworthy. I personally believe that POV doesn't allow for people to grow and change, that they can never be more than their weakest moments. Yes, people with weak character tend to repeat their patterns BUT - they can also learn a very hard and valuable lesson when their actions cost them dearly. Usually life altering lessons are also very painful. the key is that the person with questionable values has had some event to occur that causes them to reassess how they are living and to make concerted effort to not do the same things. Thus they do whatever it takes to separate themselves with the bad behavior to show a changed heart..
I will also say this - trust isn't something he can offer you. Trust is what you have in yourself - to know what is fact and what isn't. when you have faith in your own ability to know what's what, it's easy to accept people and their limitations. I can trust some untrustworthy people because I know what I can and cannot trust them with..
You didn't say how long you were together when this event occurred. it would be one if you had no agreement of exclusivity and were not in an officially monogamous relationship. Was this the case? Had you talked about being exclusive or what it just assumed on your end? If you were in an agreed upon exclusive relationship, then I would be very wary of getting involved with him again. What's happened to change his heart other than breaking up with his GF? If there was no real exclusivity, then saying he 'cheated' is a little harsh - he has to know what the boundaries are in order to adhere to them. Also, what was your agreement during your vacation? .
These facts are totally relevant to whether or not another try is warranted. If you were exclusive and he just started dating (online dating with Match.com) someone new and feel off the face of the earth - I personally wouldn't want to go down that road again. If you weren't exclusive then it seems like you have some communication issues that you need to work out.
Hon, you will never trust anyone more than you trust yourself. And you do that by listening to your gut instincts. You are the only one who can know if getting involved with him again is smart.
Edited 6/16/2008 1:07 pm ET by tonitoons.
When you took your trip were the two of you exclusively dating (online dating with Match.com) or did you not discuss the status of your relationship (thru Match.com) before you left for Spain? How long had you been dating (online dating with Match.com) before your trip?.
If things were gray then I can see giving him another chance. If you two were exclusive and he decided to stray...then you should think carefully before getting back together with him?.
Things to consider are: is he remorseful about what happened and has changed his life or his values in order to be with you? how will things be different now? Things need to be different in order for you to see this as a fresh start and to see that he has changed his ways..
Does he love you? Has he told you he loves you?.
Trust is earned so you if you really want to date using Match.com him and he has told you how things will be different with the two of you ... you can tell him that trust is earned and you'll have to see actions that tell you he is a different person or has changed his ways or has addressed what caused him to cheat on you..
Trust is something that can be also instinctive...just something about the person you trust even if things dont appear to be crystal clear at the moment. For instance, there is a man who says he wants to be with me, has communicated that he loves me and wants to come to me. He said he will be staying at a hotel and wants to know if I will visit with him at the hotel. The answer is yes. He also wants to know if I am comfortable being in his room with him, if that is what happens. The answer is yes. I trust that he will not hurt me physically. He wanted me to know that he has always loved me. I'm kind of in shock about this...and if you knew more of the details and you were me...you'd be in shock too. I need all of this confirmed in person...when (and if) he does visit me because I'm just that way. He asked if I liked the performance last night. The answer is yes, I liked his performance last night. .
The point I'm trying to make is that sometimes you just know that there are some people ... no matter what they say...cannot be trusted farther than you can spit. If you have an instinctive gut...go with it...