I have one of these! A friend who is just like that (although she hasn't had any success with her latest endeavors) I finally decided if we were going to continue to be friends I had to say something. Now my friend doesn't get subtlety, so I just came out and said "I can't take this anymore. I am doing this and can't eat that stuff. I am losing weight and happy doing it. I need you to back off. No more bad mouthing 'liquid' diets.
Just let it go.".
In your case, I would add, "I can't wait to try those low carb things in maintenance. I am glad you are out there tasting everything for me and I will let you know when I am ready." As for the clothes, I would do one of two things. Just wait for her to bring them in. The next day, come back and tell her that none of them fit and does she want them back or should I take them to Goodwill? Or I would point out the height difference nad tell her I doubt they would fit so don't bother..
It does sound like she is trying to sabotage you. Don't let her! You are doing great!!!!..
Congrats on your weight loss so far!! 36 lbs is great..
I work in an office with a lot of 'pretty' girls, so they just dont get it. I found my self resolve became more important than their friendship 'food needs'.
Some people can't be happy for others without making themselves feel better. I'm sure everyone will say the same thing to you but:.
1. Tell her you appreciate her efforts and her success.
2. You appreciate her friendship.
3. You hope she understands but you wont be taking her low carb food. It looks/smells great but you've chosen a path that's different..
I think the toughest thing for any of us is to remember who we are doing this for - ourselves. Yes, our partners, our kids etc, but at the end of the day it's about you.
It's sad when 'friends' just dont get it. Be strong. You're stronger than you know..
When people offer me food at work, I just tell them I'm on a very strict eating plan and no thank you. They usually want to lecture me about how "unhealthy" Medifast sounds, but I assure them it is VERY healthy and that I am constantly eating and very happy. Your friend knows how Medifast works. Next time she offers you one of her low-carb treats, just tell her straight up that "You know how Medifast works and I choose to stay OP." That's it. Tell her you've already enjoyed your bar or whatever your favorite Medifast food is. Medifast is a lifestyle not some fad diet.
You know the facts. Just feel good about your choice to stay OP and eventually you will feel so good, that nobody will be able to bring you down. And if she offers you her large clothes, just politely decline and tell her you have gone down a size (or two)yourself and they wouldn't fit you!..
Thanks all of you! It makes me feel so much better to know that people "get it". Some of the things she says and does just make me want to turn around and be just as catty and say "hello, I'm smaller than you" but I think that it's counterproductive for me to do that. Thanks so much for the support and sanity!..
To all people being harrassed...Sometimes it is better if we just never let on that we are dieting...I have found that when people see you are being successful it invokes jealousy to those who have not had the courage to lose weight themselves...My problem is that this always makes me want to run to the nearest food bar...et deal with the frustration by eating......NO, no, NO.......THEN WHO WINS.....THEY DO.....wALK AWAY IF YOU HAVE TO....ET THINK OF THAT LOVELY THINNER SUIT YOU WILL BE WEARING...OR IF IT IS IN MY CASE...A SMALLER SCRUB UNIFORM.... tHE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL.....OR WALKING IN ET FOR HER TO NOTICE THAT YOU ARE SMALLER...YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ONE WORD..
Here is how I see this....she feels threatened by your success and in order to make herself feel better she is trying to sabatoge you. Tell her you don't want her clothes because you are going shopping for fabulous new smaller clothes.
Also...MF is teaching you how to make healthy choices. You know that baking no matter how low carb is not going to be a good choice for a healthy lifestyle. Use your feelings and show her just how strong your will power really is by turning down all her goodies. AND have you every tasted any low carb baking that really tastes good? Imagine when you are in maintenance and all the goodies you will be able to enjoy again while she still struggles...
Wow this is a great question.
Very easy answer, drive them crazy by showing off how strong you have become and how much control and willpower you have. I find people are really impressed with how it doesn't bother me when everyone else around me is eating cake and whatever, and it doesn't phase me.
Saboteurs, can be anyone, and most of the time they dont mean it. However, we need to recognize them right away and know what they are doing. I find it makes them crazy to show that I can and will say NO to food and STILL have a great time..
Lisa, obviously you're a nicer person than I am since you posted that, "Saboteurs can be anyone and most of the time they don't mean it." I disagree - weight is an incredibly sensitive issue and I think these people DO mean it. I think that they act out of jealousy (you're losing; they're not), fear that you won't be "the fat girl" (usually unspoken, but in their heads), that they can condescend to, or many other reasons..
Gotta love the clothes thing - who would want her too-big, probably ugly clothes anyway? That's a real indication of where she's coming from - she's so jealous, she's out of touch with the reality of your respective sizes. Of course she's trying to make you feel badly - this is not a nice person..
I know most people aren't as blunt as I am - if my "No, thank you," doesn't work, I get into, "What did I just say? I don't want any and that's that." I don't need to justify myself to anyone. I don't smoke - if someone offered me a cigarette and I declined it, would I feel it was necessary for me to explain myself? Not even a little. These saboteurs are way out of line - I don't give them the satisfaction of making me squirm!..