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How come girls with equivalent hotornot ratings won't talk to me on eharmony or match.com?

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My first question is: How come girls with equivalent hotornot ratings won't talk to me on eharmony or match.com?.

My next question is: A little background, I have been seeing a man for about 10 months. We have been seeing eachother and sleeping with eachother but not in a comitted relationship. He said he didn't want a relationship (thru Match.com) at the beginning and that was something that I am ok with. We go out on dates, we have sleepovers, we spend about 5 days a week with eachother, and he calls me everyday, even just to check in. Well, about 3 weeks ago he said that this relationship (thru Match.com) is not going to go anywhere, that I was going to eventually want more and then leave him, so he thinks it's best to end it now instead of everyone getting hurt months or years down the road. I told him that it isn't a issue for me, I didn't want or ask for more.

I said ok, and then somehow we still remained talking and seeing eachother. Just to let you know, this is the 3rd time he tried to end it saying he thought it was best we stopped seeing eachother and I deserve better, each time we ended up back together. He always makes this an issue, not me. So he still calls me, calls me while he is at work, on his breaks, right when he leaves work, if I call him he calls me back quickly, we still talk everyday. He stopped kissing me and hugging me and we haven't had sex for a few weeks either.

Sometimes when I go and give him a ride home from work, when I drop him off he just sits there and waits, I say ok I will talk to you later and he says ok and leaves. Sometimes he will lean into me and I will hug him and he will push the cheek of his face close to me for me to kiss him and I do, he also pulls me close to him so I can kiss him on the neck, but no kiss on the lips. So now he is back to hugging me and wanting me to kiss him on the neck or cheek. So, I had a conversation with him and somehow we were talking about me and him calling eachother and I bluntly asked him do you want to hear from me anymore or not? He said I do. Then, I asked if we are going to spend time together and he says yes.

So, my question is, what is going on? He says it's best if we don't see eachother and talk to eachother anymore but then we still talk everday and see eachother, and he says he wants me to call him and he wants to spend time with me, so which is it? What do you think is going on? Does he want to end it or not? What should I do? Are these mixed signals? I am really confused. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!..

Comments (4)

Your question was: How come girls with equivalent hotornot ratings won't talk to me on eharmony or match.com?.

This man is using you. I don't know why you let another human being mess with your feelings like he is. I would RUN, not walk, away from him...

Comment #1

Yes, why is this acceptable to you? That is the important question to answer!.

,..

Comment #2

Oh my goodness... yes, I agree with all the responses. please RUN far away. STOP all contact, as hard is this sounds. you will have to suppress your feelings/force yourself to move on. this man is definitely playing you.

That is why the no lips kissing thing is going on. in his mind, by doing that, he is justifying to himself that he has retained some amount of integrity, when in reality, he has NONE. basically, he wants his cake and to eat it too. i'm sorry to be so blunt, but I have met guys like this and have found out through mutual friends, the real story. this guy sounds exactly like them..

Comment #3

He is laying down the ground work. Men are stragetic. He keeps trying to "break it off" with you so, when/if he does stop seeing you totally or even pops up with News like "I am having a baby with this woman from my past, blah blah blah". He can always say, "well I tried to stop dealing with you but kept the "relationship" going..

 .

I have 5 brothers, I grew up around all the tricks of the trade. If your truely okay with the situation and want to continue, tell him to shut up with non-sense already or your not going to be bothered because the flightiness is uninviting...

 ..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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