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How can I get to my match.com site? New member and cannot find it.?

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My first question is: How can I get to my match.com site? New member and cannot find it.?.

My next question is: I hooked up with this guy that I met online a few days ago.  That day was the 1st time we met in person, but prior to that, we emailed each other.  We met up just to have sex and go on with our day.  He was the first guy that I hooked up with that I met online.  All the other guys that I had sex with, I knew in person before we had sex.  My dilemma is that I am starting to get feelings for him.  How do I tell him and what can I do to take it to the next level?  I am 30 and he is 31.  I mean, we both agreed to meet up again for the purpose of sex, but honestly I want more also. .

Thanks..

Comments (6)

Your question was: How can I get to my match.com site? New member and cannot find it.?.

I'll be honest with you in that it very, very, very likely will not happen.  You have already agreed that this was a sex thing only.  That tone is set but because it was, it is almost impossible to go back.  But all you can do is be honest with him and see what he says.  As for how to tell him, you just be honest and tell him that you know you originally agreed this was a sex thing but you are developing feelings for him and want to know if he is interested in dating (online dating with Match.com) and seeing where it might lead instead of just sex.  You have to be prepared for him to bolt or say no.  But if he does say no, then you should end it because you will always be hoping that it will develop into more and it almost certainly won't and you will wind up getting hurt much worse down the line when he ends it because he finds someone he does want a relationship (thru Match.com) with or he finally ends it because he finds out your feelings never went away. .

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Comment #1

I agree with vexer.A man who is looking for a sexual encounter online has an extremely slim chance of being interested in starting a relationship (thru Match.com) or pursuing his emotional, rather than sexual, feelings.It's worth a shot to ask him if he only sees this as a sexual relationship (thru Match.com) or if he might be interested in dating. In the meantime do not have any sex with him. I really don't see him giving you an answer you want, but if you ever want to have a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone then advertising yourself as a hookup will bring you nothing but disappointment...

Comment #2

Thanks guys.  I agree with everything you said!! Just hadn't had sex in so long...him being the first guy in more than a year (yeah, I know, really sad).    Grrr, I hate being in this situation! ..

Comment #3

It's ok - you've really done nothing wrong, it's hard to go a long time without sex.Your dilemma lies mostly in enforcing the rule upon yourself where you can only get what you ask for - if you give too much without expecting anything else, that is all you will get. It's rare but it does happen that two people who go into a hookup expecting only sex will come out with a relationship. If things don't work out with this guy then at least you will know for the next one, and hopefully be able to figure out what you want from that particular man before giving him no-strings-attached sex. It's okay to wait long enough to be able to answer the internal question, "is this someone I would like to date?" - that will usually become obvious to you within a short amount of time...

Comment #4

For many women having sex changes the equation even when they're determined to keep it casual. But starting off meeting just to have sex (why did you do this) and get on with your day does set a tone. But you can say that you're uncomfortable just hooking up and if you see him again it should be made explicit you don't want sex, just to spend time together.  See how he responds and take it from there..

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Comment #5

Well, I met this guy on a website, but my fault.  Maybe I am getting older (30), and I am a girl (more emotional), and the fact that it's been so long for sex, I am constantly thinking about this guy and I even turned down a date using Match.com yesterday because of this guy!   I mean, we did agree just sex and agreed to meet up for sex in the future, but, it's kinda hard for me to break it with him.  He seems like such a great guy other than the fact he was good in bed.... Think I will break it with him before it goes any further.  Thanks for the advice guys! ..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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