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My question is: How can I get a Match.com gift subscription code?.

My 2nd question is: This is my first posting. I met a wonderful man at the gym 2 years ago. We were inseparable inside the gym and outside. We had a big fight over issues and I broke up with him ten months ago. Since then he has gone out of his way to hurt me. We both work out several days a week at the same gym.He watches my every move and stares constantly.

He hugs women in front of me, cuts past me so I almost trip and makes in general keeps upsetting me. We live in a small city and quitting the gym really isn't an option because it is the best place.I did not feel the relationship (thru Match.com) had longevity but I still care about him and miss him. I have never had such a troubling break-up like this, nothing even close. I can't stop wondering why he is doing all this for the past ten months. He just doesn't quit trying to get my attention and then trying to make me uncomfortable.

I can't decide if he loves me or hates me. I am going crazy trying to figure it out. Does anybody out there have any comments/suggestions to help me understand this...

Comments (12)

Thank you, undercovercrab for your comments. He definitely wants my attention and he wants to make me miserable. I just don't understand why he keeps doing all of this and why he wants my attention. I may have to make a change and go elsewhere. I have spoken to the staff and their answer is we had to learn to co-exist!..

Comment #1

It makes him feel good to be noticed even negatively by you. It is very common actually when after a breakup, a person is so afraid of being forgotten or moved on from that they'll do anything, even make a complete idiot of themselves, to prevent that. If the staff at the gym won't help you then yes perhaps it is time to go elsewhere, an unfortunate consequence but at least he won't have the satisfaction of seeing you and acting like a baby to you anymore...

Comment #2

Thank you again, undercovercrab, for your comments and advice. You are quite correct, I think I will have to go elsewhere. I guess he wins-at least that is how I see it...

Comment #3

I think any way you get away from him, you're the winner, and you're taking away the pleasure he's getting from irritating you. Sorry things worked out the way they did! Best of luck in your dating (online dating with Match.com) future!..

Comment #4

You have trouble moving on because he is not letting you move on by doing all this stuff and since you miss him as well,you are taking it.And I guess, he is doing this intentionally to prevent you from moving on and is being successful.for 10 months you guys havent talked?? if he is not talking then maybe you could talk to him and find out whats going on.if you guys keep doing this, none of you will be get over each other and move on.imo, you both need to talk it out as after 10 months neither of you has changed the gym,so there might be some unsaid stuff which needs to be cleared up.you want to give you guys another chance?you might or you would have found another place by now or he would have I would say just talk to him.goD BLEsS..

Comment #5

Thanks again, undercovercrab. You have helped me more than you know. You make so much sense. Peace be with you. I hope your love life is happier than mine.And fullhalfquarter, I very much appreciate your comments. You are right, it has been hard for me to move on and like you said, he won't let me.We haven't talked because he tried for the first few months to talk to me.

Then down the road I had a change of heart and tried twice to talk to him. I got the 'death' stare! God bless you too, dear. I hope your love life is better...

Comment #6

In that case I guess, you might have to just ignore him or change your gym.He is making you feel bad as you were the one to call on the break-up.This guy doesnt sound of a sound mind...

Comment #7

Thanks fullhalfquarter for your input. I have tried to pretend he doesn't exist and ignore him completely but it has made things worse. He tries even harder to get in my face. I have tried to talk to him, that doesn't work- it seems nothing will work except to stay away from him. For now I have decided to go at a completely different time so I can have some peace of mind. I do not think he is of sound mind-it is one of the reasons we broke up-his instability.

God Bless...

Comment #8

The guy was not wonderful ! you know that now atleast.Dont 'pretend' to ignore him,ignore him in the real sense of the word.What I can say after reading your posts is that even if you go on a different time,your ex will start coming at the same time as you.I do wonder if you change your gym he will come there as well.Stalking you? get a restraining order...

Comment #9

Thank you heissick. What I really meant is I met this wonderful (at the time) man. Now, not so. It does feel similar to stalking. Can you clarify what you mean by-don't pretend to ignore him, ignore him in the real sense of the word. The only good part for me is my schedule is flexible but his is not.

I have been at that gym for 14 years and had a routine but things have to change now. I look at it as paying the price for getting hooked up with that nutcase...

Comment #10

Seriously, you need to report that wack job to the gym people because that IS stalking and harassment, and tell him straight up face-to-face that if he doesn't stop you will file a restraining order on him. It's not right for you to have to change your whole life because his freaky nut-job feelings got hurt. And start documenting all his actions; keep a little journal of all his creepy antics so you have something to take to the police if you decide to..

***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***..

Comment #11


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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