Your question was: How can I find some one who I met on match.com?.
If at 10 months the relationship (thru Match.com) is at 80/20, things aren't going to change. This is who he is. If he's not actively working on his issues for himself, he's not going to do it for you. ..
Read the book: Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis - the two of you don't seem to have the same priority placed on sex and affection, which to me means you aren't compatible..
You can try not initiating anything but I wouldn't hold my breath that anything's going to change, if I were you. .
And doing that isn't going to change the lack of physical affection and sex so if that's important to you, he's not your guy!.
I think that you are sacrificing a great deal for this relationship (thru Match.com) where you are not getting your needs met. If his expressions of love and affection are not what you want or need..then the best solution is to tell him directly and if he feels that he likes himself the way he is then you need to reevaluate the relationship. All the giving in the world is not going to change his behavior if he likes himself the way he is and doesnt see any problem with it...
Hon, good relationships do require give and take but they do not include one partner having to convince, discuss, or talk into how to be a better partner. If at 10 months, you are still trying to get him to fit what you need - at some point it becomes logical to assume that you are talking to the wrong man.
When there are significant incompatibilities, one partner will often feel like they are carrying all the load and are constantly asking for what they need..
Rather than continuing to push this boulder uphill and be in a relationship (thru Match.com) where neither of you are happy - he likely feels that what he offers is never enough - and you feel resentful - fact reality that you would be better friends rather than trying to make soemthing work that doesn't. If this DID work, you would not need to keep telling him what you need and sex would not be an issue - you'd be on the same page.
You guys aren't in the same chapter..
People are who they are and only change if motivated to, if they truly want to work at an issue. It doesn't sound like that's the case here.