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Her boyf is on match.com?

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My first question is: Her boyf is on match.com?.

My next question is: Hi, really need your 50cents on this....

2.5 weeks ago I started dating (online dating with Match.com) a friend. actually when we met back in october he was clear he wanted to date using Match.com me but I was not ready. took me 3 months to realise that he is always there and that he is great to me. we started going out...

And I felt a change in his ways. before he would never let me pay -now I have a feeling he expects it and as I always propose he even lets me pay in the restaurants at times. when I stayed over his place last weekend he took me to the supermarket to buy food and bought lots of personal things as well - we still split the bill.

It started REALLY bothering me last night, when I realised he is not going to make a slightest effort for Valentine's. the thing is - I just started working and before that for 2 months I didnt have salary and our constant going out and me often paying or splitting the huge bills made me broke. he is aware of my financial situation but since I never complain or bring up money talk he acts as if all is fine.

Other than that he is great, caring, loving. but I want a romantic non greedy guy. and I dont understand this sudden change. since last night I avoid him and cant hide my weird mood. he asked lots of tiems what is wrong but how to tell him this? tonight I'm leaving for a long weekend so we'll meet only on Monday.

I feel that there is no romance in our relatinship and that he could be more generous as a guy. Its not the money matter in itself. I was just brought up differently I guess and I dont like greedy people.

What should I do? talk to him? give him another chance and see what happens? He is hell worried now since yday night but I have no wish to talk to him or see him. I feel disappointed...like he stopped making efforts way too early......

Comments (4)

Your question was: Her boyf is on match.com?.

Hi Picky,.

Welcome to the board..

I agree that you should tell him.  Calmly is another really great suggestion.  I'd be careful not to be negative as well.  suggest some staying at home evenings with making dinner at home and watching TV to help with budgeting..

Good luck and try not to be too down..

Kristie.

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Comment #1

Is he greedy or just not in a financial position to always pay for both of you?  This is an issue for some women. They expect to always be treated when realistically most men cannot afford to do so.  If you are not in a position to pay for things you should not allow yourself to get into debt or allow your bank account to dwindle down to zero.  This may be a lifestyle issue that is in conflict between you and him.  He may not think it is okay to not complain (as you did not) about a situation such as this..

If you feel he is stingy with love or not behaving romantically that is a different topic...then you may wish to address this with him and see if he sees love and romance the same way as you. You may also have a lifestyle or values conflict here as well..

If your values are in conflict and both of you feel you are right about how you choose to live then you may wish to consider a new BF...

Comment #2

Thank you all for replies.i was away for this weekend and logged on just today.u were right, talking was a key.we met today and talked.all I needed to say was that it feels we lack romance for a couple that's been together less than a month. he was sweet.i realised that i'm a silly cow.although it served us both a good lesson.i should kick back and let him treat me (without taking out my purse everytime he makes a move) and he admit that he was afraid to scare me away with too much romance. so, phew, feels much better. I even got a bouquet of flowers just before dinner. unexpected,while he was away to buy missing ingredients for our dinner. thanks once again.

I was afraid to talk about these things with him. but I guess when you expect something you should ask for it or strongly hint. otherwise hard to guess what's important for another..

Comment #3

Glad to hear things are going well.  It is true what "they" say about communication and expectations - how can a person who has known you less than a man know how you want to be romanced?  Best of luck...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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