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Help me with this Medifast binge!

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I am on the edge of a BINGE big-time! My father just called to tell me that he's asked his girlfriend to marry him with MY DEAD MOTHER'S ENGAGEMENT RING and she said yes!!! My mother has not yet been dead for 2 years and he started dating this woman 3 WEEKS AFTER she died - there is speculation that he was cheating on my mother with this woman, but no confirmation....

I am so upset I am on the verge of raiding the cabinets!!! I am an emotional binge-eater and I am fighting soooo hard right now (which is why I'm on the boards instead of in the kitchen)... I need all of your words of encouragement right now! Help me MF, you're my only hope!!!..

Comments (17)

No, no, NO!!! Don't give in to the urge! Grab some music and go for a really brisk walk..

I'm so sorry that your Father's news has put you in such a tailspin!.

You are strong though, don't let your disappointment in him make you do something that will make you disappointed in yourself!.

You can do it and you will feel sooooo proud of yourself if you don't give in!.

Good luck and hugs!..

Comment #1

Wow, I am so sorry to hear that. I cannot imagine what you must be going through.

Run a hot bath and try to soak and cry and scream if you need to.

Remember... food is not going to fix what is going on. If you binge, are you going to regret it later? Probably. Don't undo your hard work, girl...

Comment #2

Don't punish YOU for his behavior. If you binge, you pay the price, not him. And worst of all, you won't feel any better when it's all over with...

Comment #3

Food will only make you feel better for that second vs bypassing will make you feel better a lifetime. Do some kickboxing! Just look up videos on you tube...

Comment #4

Others have already given good advice, but I'd just like to say how unbelievable it is that a man would offer a woman a ring from another marriage and that the woman would accept that ring worn by a man's previous wife who passed away, especially when there are children from that marriage. JUST GROSS!!!!.

Stay strong, MallieF!!!!..

Comment #5

Is the binge going to make you feel better? Think of it this way. You are already feeling the emotions you feel. The binge is not going to help anything. You will just feel more upset that you've let yourself down..

On the other hand....your situation sucks. I'm sorry that you are going through this right now...

Comment #6

You know what? You're going to get through this because you've already taken the biggest first step. You came here first! You reached out to a support system instead of old habits. That's a big, darn deal honey!! You're an inspiration to me...

Comment #7

Mallie, what about writing a letter to your dad expressing your feelings about his decision? Sometimes we assume that others know when something is upsetting to us, but really they don't. What your dad is doing is at the very least, insenstive. But, forget about him and thing about you. This will help you. You can then either mail it or keep it. Either way, you will have expressed your feelings instead of stuffing them down inside with food.

You obviously will have some tough times ahead with this woman joining your family, why not be armed with good health and a strong, lean body to face those times? God bless you...

Comment #8

You have received beautiful advices from wonderful people. Read them over and over and remember this moment will pass so don't give into self destructive acts. Don't undo your hard work on the account of your dad and his girlfriend! Their life goes on while you ruin it with bingeing. Take a deep breath ...go for a long walk...take a long bath..anything that can make you feel better for longer than a moment. Hope you feel better!..

Comment #9

Get away from the food you want! I too am an emotional binge eater. almost nothing works. the only thing that helps me is to stay away from all comfort foods and all trigger foods. I also can't go near any stores that I could impulse buy from.

I would recommend impulse tossing any food you know will get you. going outside. getting away!.

Sometimes it helps to go to the movies. completely surrounding myself with another story than my sad one. course, don't eat the popcorn! but maybe take a shake or a bar..

Good luck! my dad was/is a philanderer too. cheated on my mother for many years. now married to one of his mistresses. it. s.u.c.k.s...

Comment #10

Thank you to all for your words of support and kindness! I was very lucky to be able to call one of my close friends - one of the few people who I have confided in about my binge eating - and upon hearing my news, she invited me to go with her to a local church fair where a favorite band of hers was playing! I took an Medifast bar with me, so I could have my last meal, and greatly enjoyed the distraction from the bad news and any temptations that might be residing in my kitchen..

I am so glad that I have you all and my good friend to help me through this. Tomorrow will be another tough day as my father plans on breaking the "good news" to my sister, who was very very close to my mom. I don't anticipate this going well AT ALL and will be near the phone awaiting her tearful phone call..

In the meantime, I will brew a cup of licorice tea and settle in with a movie..

Thank you all for being part of my Medifast family - it means the world to me..

Comment #11

Best of luck to you MallieF. This really is a tough situation that you face right now. I'm glad you were able to get the support of your close friend. You have every right to feel the feelings you are experiencing. If it helps, cry and scream to get the frustration out. Distractions are good but sometimes recognizing the emotions can be cleansing.

You don't have to send it, you can burn it right after. But at least you can express your emotions freely. You have been working so hard to improve your quality of life, don't punish yourself. It's not your fault. I hope things work out for you.

The type of person the world needs more of.

Michele..

Comment #12

At the risk of sounding like an insensitive cow, I'd like to offer a "this too will pass" perspective. I haven't been in this situation personally, and can only imagine how wrenching it is. But I have seen similar things happen with many close friends and family..

As wretched as this situation seems right now, and as angry as you are at your Dad, it may, just may, work out in the end. One of my best friends is the second of 11 children. When he was a teenager, his Mom had an affair with their neighbor, which destroyed his parents' marriage. At one point, he apparently chased the neighbor out of their house with a shotgun. Anyway, now, 20 or 25 years later, his Mom is very happily married to the neighbor, and is seriously and chronically ill. Her husband went back to work, even though he is past retirement age, so that she could have good medical coverage.

And my friend has come to see this too, and is grateful that his mother has someone who really loves her in this hard time..

I don't mean to make light of your situation, or diminish your pain. Just don't let your anger at your father and his insensitive actions blind you to a future in which everything may work out all right...

Comment #13

I am late on this, but I hope you didnt do it! I can only imagine how painful that phone call was. Dont make it worse by bingeing!!!!.

You got some good advice, maybe some water in a wine glass?????? In a hot bath?????.

I hope it somehow looks better in the morning....Hugs!!..

Comment #14

I am sorry to hear of your news and how upsetting it is to you and will be to your sister. I will keep you both in my prayers..

Congratulations for turning to your Medifast family and calling your friend and not turning to food. That is a huge success. I am so very proud of you. You did it!!!!!! You chose what was best for you over giving in to your old behavior of binge eating during times of emotional stress. I, too, am a emotional/stress eater and have learned a long time ago that it does not make me feel any better, in fact it only makes me feel worse about myself. So give yourself a pat on the back..

Today may be tough. Your sister is very lucky to have you and you too will find comfort in each other. We are here if you need us. Always remember: YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!.

Good luck today. Hugs, Mary..

Comment #15

1. The food won't help, just make you feel worse..

2. You dad is an adult. What he does is his business. Let it go..

3. What he does with your mom's RING however, is your business. Tell him AND her that the ring should be yours and you want it. Be firm..

4. Understand now that eating for emotions is what got you here. Go do other things..

5. If you suspect your dad was cheating, he probably was. That he had the respect to wait 2 yrs...give him credit. Then either ask him if you think you'll believe his answer, or let it go...

Comment #16

Melissa, I've been away all weekend and just now saw this post. How are you doing and how did your sister take the news?.

Big hugs to you!!!..

Comment #17


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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