Your question was: Hello again folks, can anyone explain in plain english, how I can send a photo to either, match.com/.
>>I know they say that when you stop looking, it will just happen.<<.
I agree with this. My advice (I know you didn't ask for any lol) is to enjoy your life as it is now. When you meet someone, don't stop being you - and don't come off like you will put everything on hold for him (i.e. desperate and needy)..
CL - Women of Color ..
This is my philosophy about allowing good things in life - when I am truly at a place of allowing and receiving them, they show up.
This means for relationships:.
When you get to a place of happiness and contentment with your life as it is, when you can be truly happy for others having what you want, when you love yourself and your life with or without a parnter and mostly when you've got your 'act' together (you aren't a mess emotionally, financially, or spiritually) AND you've made room in both your heart and your life for the right person - THAT's when it happens. .
Just like you have to clean out old clothes and shoes and such in your closet periodically to make room for more, you have to do the same thing emotionally and in your home to actually allow another person to fit in..
Things I've done have been to make sure that my life, my attitude and my home do not scream 'leave me alone"..
You might want to read up on Fend Shui to help you clear the energy in your home and set firm intentions about what you want. A book I love is "Move your Stuff, change your life" (or something like that. You'd be surprised at how clearing out physical clutter also clears emotional clutter..
Another good workbook is "Calling in the One" - it's a 7-week workbook that takes you through your own mental stuff to make sure that you are in a receptive place to ALLOW a good man in.
I also like 'The Law of Attraction' by Michael Losier - it's a great resource to also help you refine and focus on just the type of relationship (thru Match.com) you want so that you become open and receptive to it when it shows up..
Lastly, the point of 'not looking' is that you change your focus. when women 'look' for love, the thought behind it is often 'Love might miss me unless I go find it" - and that is exactly what they get. They are trying to force something to be love out of fear of being passed by. change your thoughts to "I am open and receptive to a good relationship (thru Match.com) with a wonderful man" and then just go about your day. I caught that you 'tried' to not look. Are you afraid that Love isn't available to you unless you 'llok'?.
Remember - faith is things that are hoped for but not yet seen. If you BELIEVE 100% that you WILL have the kind of love you want, that's exactly what will happen. and conversely, if you doubt that, that is also what will happen. this is much like waiting for a house to be built. You can only see the image on the plans and your imagination - and it gets built one piece at a time and it takes however long it takes.
Then one day - that image is a reality. In the meantime, you image how you will decorate and enjoy living there. But until it's completely built, you must wait. And while you wait, you keep on doing what you have to do - LIVE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
Well it doesn't mean don't look - ask friends and family, go to events that interest you, talk to the cute guy behind you on line at Starbucks, etc. The point is not to make your whole life about being upset that you're single. Have a life, enjoy your life... then love will find you.
I can relate, except that I found mine and now she's gone. I guess all one can do is keep looking - again, and again, and again...
There was a great book years back with the title - Men are Just Desserts. Meaning you make your life exciting and wonderful and filling - the guy is the cherry on top.
IMHO there aren't many modern 'invented b*****t' phrases which are quite as ridiculous as 'love will find you when you're not looking'. Right there with 'fear of committment' and 'he left cause he was scared of his feelings'. Imagine wanting, badly wanting a job. And trying to achieve what you want - getting a job - by sitting at home on the sofa crying about how much you want a job. Silly, or what? Same applies for wanting love, happiness etc. Make an effort, and again, and again and again.
Go to places. I don't know about you but the only crowd that frequents libraries and coffee shops where I live are kids and older people. I'd recomment pubs after work, pub/restaurants, gigs, things like that. Keep trying again, and again, and again. You will find love - if you try hard enough, if you work for it..
I'm right there with new - you've got to go out and put yourself in places where he may be. I don't know what goes on in your house, but I don't have a ton of eligible men passing through my family room on a daily basis. (If you do, can I come over to visit?).
One thing I saw this summer were groups of women at professional baseball games, scanning the crowd for men without rings. These women were geniuses! THAT is where you're going to find single guys with good hobbies that aren't broke! So get some girlfriends together and get out where the men you'd like to be are. If you'd like a scholar, hang out at the local university library (not the public library - serious scholars skip those) or Borders or used book exchange (if you'd like him to be frugal). If you want a giving man, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity or the Food Bank. I've even heard that H for H has singles builds..
You can't just go for the local Starbucks any more. EVERYBODY goes through Starbucks nowadays..
Figure out what you like to do and go get out there in public and DO it. If you find somebody while you're doing your most favorite thing (feeding the llamas at the petting zoo, getting tattooed, skiing, whatever), chances are it'll be one of his favorite things too. And wouldn't doing your most favorite thing with somebody right beside you that loves doing the same things (and you) be even better?..