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Have you ever tried match.com? Anyone you know? How did it turn out?

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My first question is: Have you ever tried match.com? Anyone you know? How did it turn out?.

My next question is: My boyfriend and I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) for almost 9 months. This is not my first seriously relationship (thru Match.com) but it is my first "mature" relationship. He has been acting kind of crappy to me for the past three weeks. He patronizes me like interupting me mid sentence, "baby,baby, baby..." I tend to ramble on the occasion but I feel like he was an ass hole to me about it. I dont want to play "games" with him persay...but I feel like when I tell him things in a mature fashion he doesnt take them well. Or rather he doesnt take them at all...he is never wrong about anything and he has this attitude that he is so GREAT.(he was one of those guys in high school...Mr popular, star athlete prom king, and now even in college hes still mr popular and all the girls love him...which he reminds me continuously.) I wasnt like that in high school, nor college, and no one I have ever dated has been like that.

Problem is If I just come out and say that he will say "ok Im sorry I was mean, but...." and then nothing changes. Bare in mind this crapiness toward me has only been going on for about three weeks. The first week we got in  a fight...I dumped him and he called me 20 times that day and finally the last time he called crying...I wasnt planning on dumping him....but he said some crappy inappropriate stuff. I want to know how I should respond to his attitude... I know that if I come right at it...he doesnt respond.

Does anyone have any suggestions?..

Comments (5)

Your question was: Have you ever tried match.com? Anyone you know? How did it turn out?.

He sounds totally immature.  I think you can figure out what *I* would do...

Edited 2/28/2008 12:02 am ET by blairbear89..

Comment #1

 I know you claim that he's 'mature', but... your description of his is the complete opposite of mature. He sounds like a dick. Are you really willing to be with a guy that doesn't respect your feelings and needs?.

 What I would do, is to very clearly and calmly, suggest to him that you'd like him to do  z,y,x,  b/c you feel  c,b,a. And let him learn to respect your needs and feelings. If he's unable to fulfill your request, then he's OBVIOUSLY NOT the kind, nurturing man, that I'm sure you desire.

 Just make it very clear cut, how you want to be treated and DEMAND he do that. By demand, I mean, if he doesn't treat you with respect, YOUR GONE!! DONE WITH HIM!!  C-YA!!!  If you tell him what you want and you let him 'slide' with a few things, you've breached your own request to be respected, and the cycle will continue..

 Be well....

 Z..

Comment #2

Hi Ca1986,.

Welcome to the board!!.

You've been dating (online dating with Match.com) for 9 months.  I've noticed from experience and from lots of friends that this is a time when a lot of couples really get serious about a future together.  He might just be a bit scared.  This is normal.  Be patient and tolerant.  I'm not saying that you should take being mistreated, but we do need to make allowances for the ones we love.  We all have a bad day or maybe even a bad week.  If his behavior doesn't change, be open about how you feel..

Good Luck,.

 .

 .

           ..

Comment #3

"He might just be a bit scared.  This is normal.".

I have to present an opposing opinion.  This is not normal.  As a couple builds their emotional intimacy and have bonded...he should be feeling GREAT.  If he is sensing that the relationship (thru Match.com) is not right for him THEN...he will behave skittish...

Comment #4

If you express yourself the way you know best and he doesnt respond then he is not in tune with you or cares to meet your needs.  Since his behavior has been consistent for 3 weeks he just needs a swift kick in his a$$ and a reminder that he is behaving like a louse. If he doesnt respond then say goodbye to him..

You stated that he was Mr. Joe Cool in H.S. and you could remind him that he is not living in his insulated fairy tale academia land anymore.  He's in the real world now where there are available men muuuuch cooler than him now who can excite you.  Living off the fat of his youth is an indication that he hasn't invested in himself too much over the years...a man who is not real exciting to me.  He may use this as leverage in his own mind as justification why he doesnt HAVE to treat any woman correctly...

Comment #5


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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