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Have ya'll ever seen that guy on the match.com ads? he's tall, he takees off his boots and his blue

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My first question is: Have ya'll ever seen that guy on the match.com ads? he's tall, he takees off his boots and his blue .

My next question is: I am interested in someone at work..I see him fairly often and we joke around sometimes, mostly on email. He will tease me sometimes and play around, but other than that I don't think he can tell I am interested. I am not so good at this flirting/dating business, so I don't know how to go about this. This hasn't been going on for long and we don't talk a whole lot except for email playing a few times here and there, so I don't want to totally discount him and say he's just not interested. Any ideas how I can get him talking and spark some interest? He's such a nice guy and I like talking with him when we do talk. (And I have to give a demo of a website to another dept. at work and he's going to be there..I've never had to be serious in front of him and it makes me nervous..eep! silly I know, but since we always joke I guess I'd like to show that I'm a smart girl too...

Comments (7)

Your question was: Have ya'll ever seen that guy on the match.com ads? he's tall, he takees off his boots and his blue .

At the end of one of your email exchanges you can tell him "I really like talking to you."  or "Your sense of humor is great."  Sincere compliments go a long way.  I think you are doing fine and going slow is not a bad thing..

Carrie..

Comment #1

There are many ways to spark conversation that could move you in the desired direction.  Whatever way you choose, just remember to be true to yourself and your style so that you do not appear to be phoney or come across clumsy..

In general, people love to talk about themselves so any conversation you start with this guy could focus on his interests, his job, or his car.  What you could try is picking up where you left off with him one day.  For instance, let's say the two of you were horsing around about a topic.  What you could do is bring up the subject again, this time with something like "do you remember when we were kidding around about ____?  I was thinking, what if _____?"  That way you have already established a conversation that you are just adding to so it doesnt appear to be forced. Or, you can just ask him what he is doing for the weekend one Friday and find out about his interests. .

I'm sure that he'll find you intelligent when you do your presentation just dont get upset if he asks you a difficult question in front of everyone because his loyalties may be to his dept and his job instead of making sure you are a success...

Comment #2

Actually I'm feeling really discouraged now. I saw him talking to another girl today, I used to think that they had something going on, but then I haven't seen them together for months. Now I see them walking out together today. I don't know how to read this girl either. She scowls at all other girls and is lovey dovey towards guys. But he seemed attracted to it. I don't know what this means, if I should give up or keep trying.

I don't want to be all lovey dovey, I want to be me. And I want him to be interested in me not some phony kind of me. (Yes I know.. I'm jealous of this girl...). I don't know what to do.

:-(..

Comment #3

 What I'm about to say, may not answer your immediate question, but should shed some light for future experiences with dating/flirting..

 Read some books. Personally I could go into many ways to go about what you're describing, it's a completely different story for you to APPLY it and UNDERSTAND 'WHY' to do it. So if you are willing to take some time to 'learn' about dating (online dating with Match.com) and flirting, then you'll have a LOT better understanding of HOW to do, what you want to do.

 In this forum, it's like someone asking for help to 'be cool'. Many suggestions can be given, but if it's not understood what 'cool' is in the first place, it will be next to impossible to 'be cool'. On the other hand, if you learn how to be and interesting and curious person, this is much easier to explain, than to just 'be cool'..

 Reading will ABSOLUTELY help you with this. You may not get this particular guy, but, he's not the only GOOD guy around you. Knowledge & applying knowledge are the keys to success.

 I wish you well....

 .

 .

 Z..

Comment #4

" I don't know how to get him to pay attention to me without getting in front of him and saying pay attention to me."> okay, then just hold up a sign that says "pay attention to me" when he walks by...hehehe.....I'm sorry.  I shouldnt joke that way, but what you said was funny..

Just because they walked out together doesnt mean that he is no longer available.  Just make conversation with him like you would one of your friends.  The way it looks is unless you make a move towards a conversation with him you willnot be able to convey that you are interested in him. This girl you referred to must be very outgoing towards all the guys in the office...

Comment #5

You're not alone in being uncertain how to flirt. Why not mention you're going to do this demo and you're a little nervous - hoping for friendly faces!  And/or if there's an aspect you can ask him advice about- an area where you know he has expertise. Guys always like to feel needed.

,..

Comment #6

Well we had the presentation today, he was quiet most of the time because he is the IT guy and the discussion didn't actually have much to do with him. He did jump in a little bit. Afterwords, I asked him to join my dept. for our Thanksgiving potluck. We chatted for a bit too. He didn't eat with us, but I saw him pop in for a bit, so I guess that's a start.

That probably doesn't mean much, but today he was more chatty than normal at least. Thanks all for the advice, I'm sure I will need more encouragement as it goes on..so don't go anywhere pleeaase!..

Comment #7


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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