Has anyone had any success at

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My first question is: Has anyone had any success at

My next question is: The initiative regardless of what kind he is?.


When it comes who is the one who has to call when start to know each other a guy you like, do you have to wait until he will call, if he ever will or you can be a bit bold and you as girl be the one who call him instead because it may happen he will never call, I mean just to show him you are interested and you wont be waiting for his call..


I have always heard and society used to say that if the man is interested he should be the one to call he girl and be after her not the other way around because if a guy dont call or dont give signs of interest is the reason why he is not calling after one or 2 dates perhaps, and it is not necessarily means that the guy is waiting for the lady to call him, because most of the times that does not happen. So why the women has to take the initiative in this case, let man do what they do best, chase the girl not the other way around. But how can we know if the guy likes a lady calling them?.


There is this guy I have only met him thru a female friend. I met this guy like October. Back then my friend introduce me to him and vice versa, during a gathering with my friend, so there we were the 4 of us (my friend was with another friend, who happens to be the best friend of the guy she introduced me to). I believe he liked talking to me. He was kind of cute, he has a good job. The thing is that at the end of that gathering that day, neither him nor me exchange email addresses or phone numbers.


That was the first and last time I saw this guy, I havent seen him or talk to him ever since that first gathering back in October.  I did ask my friend (over an email message because she is always busy to answer her phone) days after that meeting to give me his phone number or email address and I told her that because I did not ask him at the moment but for some reason my friend stopped contact with me days after I sent her that email message and she did not responded to my email message.


Then last week I contact my friend again because it was her birthday so I called her. I ask her about the guy and she says: Once in a while we exchange email messages but he is not into contact a person by email address, he prefers people call him. Then she asked me: Why dont you call him? Hello! It seems she never received the message back then when I told her I did not have his number and asked her for it, or perhaps she assumed back in that meeting we exchange information but we never did.


But I do know for a fact she indeed read her email messages, simply she did not like to answer. So I guess she did receive the messages when I ask her about the guys number and she forgot  what I sent her and asked her back in that message and is suffering from a big lose of memory at her young age (Im kidding but is the truth) that is why she asked me last week: Why dont you call him, So I replied her: I did not have his number I thought you knew I already told you about it, then she replied back: I thought that when you met him you 2 exchanged numbers..

So my friend finally gives me his number after all this time, and I would have it sooner if she had responded my messages but I guess she forgets what she reads on her messages..


Now I will like to call him to say hello at least but like I said I only met him once, he never gave me his number so he may wonder where did I get his number and also we never stay in touch after we met, so more strange to him that Im calling him so I assume that if he would have been interested in me he also would have asked our friend from my number and would have called me already, but that never happened.


Should I give this guy a call? I do know he knows who am I if we talked, because when we met, we laughed, we talked, unless he has forgotten who I am..


I  have to be honest I will like to see this guy again, but like I am saying in this board, if he is not interested why I bother to give him a call if so far he has never called me. The guy is 32 Im 36.


Comments (4)

Your question was: Has anyone had any success at

If you are concerned about his reaction, why not talk to your friend and have her give your number to the guy and have him call you?  She can call him and tell him that you remember him from the party and that you liked him.  If you dont trust her to get this right...then call him yourself and just reintroduce yourself and say that you remember him from the party and your friend gave you his number and suggested that you call him.  Stating that she suggested that you call him takes the edge off of things..

I understand how you feel about not knowing when it is right to make the first move with a guy.  Everyone is different and there is no telling how it turns out sometimes. If the woman makes the initial overture usually the guy is flattered, if nothing else. So dont worry about contacting him if that feels like the most comfortable move for you...

Comment #1

I agree. Do whatever feels comfortable and definitely it can be helpful to use your friend to help grease the wheels....


Comment #2

I mean. my friend told me that he prefers people to call him rather to exchange email messages (  I never got his email address anyway) but for me it would have been  easier to write him first like an email to lift a bit of the anxiety and start from there so if I would have call him the next time on his phone, he might not wonder who is calling him, because we alraedy exchange a message and in that message he would have given me his number, but the thing is to call him flat just like that, if he never gave me his number and he will wonder why am I calling him and of course he wont be expecting my call..

I just believe that if he would have been interested in contacting me, he would have asked my friend for the number, but he never did, because it has been like almost 3 months since I met him and nothing happens, so I guess he is not interested in like meeting me more, perhaps I was not that interesting for his taste. I am just assuming, I dont know..

You still think I ask my friend for a bit of help? She even told me that the guy is a good catch, he has a good job, nice car, he just bought a piece of land somewhere, but then she is not helping me? I think she assumes that if I want to know him better I be the one who have to be after him, she did her job in introduced me to the guy, the rest is up to me. But like I said I just met him that day and that is all, I havent had any kind of contact with him afterwards for the reason I just described..

I mean I just met him that day because my friend wanted me to met some guys. During that gathering when  I went to the ladies room, this guy told my friend that I look like shy, not a very talkative person. I mean I just met this guy and he pretended I be already his friend or something??? and needed to talk more. I dont know but I believe that when you first talk to a guy you just met, sometimes you react a bit shy and topics of conversation simply dont come up easily, ice is not sometimes easy to break..

But the end of the gathering we all end up at my friends house, there I talk to the guy a bit more, but we also talked and laughed among 4 of us...

Comment #3

If you do not trust your friend, then call him.  You will not know anything about him or his like or interest for you unless you make a move...

Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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