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Has anyone ever tried match.com or eharmony. I am single and want to date.?

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My first question is: Has anyone ever tried match.com or eharmony. I am single and want to date.?.

My next question is: Hi everyone,.

 .

I would like some feedback/opinions, etc. on this situation..

I work alot of events for my job, and I met this guy while doing some events where he works. We exchanged numbers last Sunday,  and he told me to call him so that we could go to dinner.  He ended up calling me the next day, and we ended up playing voicemail tag a couple of times before setting up dinner this past Friday. What I liked about this guy from the start is that he never used text messaging to contact me, he always called and left a message.   .

So on Friday, he came and picked me up for dinner. He opened the car for me, which was very gentlemanly.   we went to dinner, talked for a couple of hours, then went dancing at a little club closeby.  We had 2 drinks each, and things got very flirty and touchy feely in the club. He was kissing me on the cheek alot.   He was saying alot of complimentary things to me, that he was having a great time, and he didn't care where we went as long as he was spending time with me.  We danced up a storm. Once we left the club, we kind of just kept to ourselves, kind of the opposite behavior.  While he was driving me home, the 2.5 drinks I had over the period of 4 hours started getting to me, and I know I started becoming more talkative, maybe a little too talkative.  I know I didn't say anything weird, just started talking about little trivial topics. We were sitting in his car for a bit talking..

 Then, he walked me up to my place,  and I didn't really know what to do next. I just said, "well, this is my place."  He said, "give me a hug". So we hugged, and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. He said something else to me, something around the lines of thanks for coming out tonight or something. Then he said, "Call me when you're ready."  I didn't quite know what he meant, but I said okay and thanks.

I honestly had a great time and like this guy, so I called him tonight to thank him for Friday.  I also said, "Sorry about the little rambling at the end of the night. I think the vodka kinda kicked in around then. It would be cool to hear from you. take care!" .

Over the course of the last week, he would pretty much call/leave a message within an hour. It's been 3 hours and he hasn't called. Now, of course, he wouldn't call because it is late. .

I know I didn't say anything crazy while I was rambling a little at the end of the night, but do you think that the rambling turned him off and that is why he didn't call?  Or am I just maybe overreacting? .

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What do you think of the situation?  Advice/feedback would be great.   Thanks...

Comments (15)

Your question was: Has anyone ever tried match.com or eharmony. I am single and want to date.?.

"Call me when you're ready."  ready for what?  I dont get this either.  But I would take it as meaning for sex.  I would write him off..

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Comment #1

I don't think he meant that because he was a gentlemanopening my door, walking me up to it.... Maybe ready to hang again?.

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Comment #2

I replied to you on another board with a different take but just because he was a gentleman doesn't mean he wasn't looking for sex.  He could have been treating you that way because he knows that is the way to woo a woman.  He's not going to get into your bed if he treats you like crap now will he?.

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Comment #3

I agree with vexer. Any guy can act like a gentleman. The problem is, you now have to get to know him to find out if he is one or not, since you haven't known him very long..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #4

So he called me back the next night (Monday) He said he worked late on Sunday and didn't want to call that late.  We talked for about 45 mins, and twice during the call he said he had a great time and that we should do that again soon.  He told me to call him during this week sometime, and that he would be waiting for my call.   What do you think?  I was thinking of calling him tomorrow night if I don't hear from him first......

Comment #5

I don't see the sexual inuendo in "call me when you're ready."  I think men tend to be much more blunt, they'll say "let's have sex."  Not entirely kidding.  I think what he meant was pretty straight-forward, he meant call him when you're ready to call him.  So you did and he called back and things are going well.  I would say, call him when you want to call, and stop over-thinking his every word?  As long as you're running balanced (he calls, too; and he calls you back), then all is progressing reasonably well.  : ) ..

Comment #6

Yeah, I usually don't like to pursue guys, I prefer them calling me.  But I do really like this guy......

Comment #7

When we first exchanged numbers, he told me to call him. I was going to wait a couple days.  But he ended up calling me first the very next night!.

He is very good at getting back to me if I call him. He always leaves a voice mail, and he never just texts me. So that is  a plus, I think...

Comment #8

I have been pondering the whole should-the-guy-pursue question.  I have to say, if I look at my own experiences, the men who were lukewarm about me; the men who really seemed to like me; the two that got serious (husband (now ex) and current BF (only just started calling him that)), I don't see any chasing issue.  What I mean is, I call if I feel like it.  And there's a direct correlation between the guy's interest me and his interest in taking my calls and talking to me.  If I call a guy and he's not interested in me, it's not because I'm calling that he's not interested.  It's because he's not interested.  Stated another way, the two that got serious, we called each other equally (balanced) and they always liked it when I called..

So I guess, at the end of the day, my own thought is that the answer is really simple.  If you feel like calling him, call him.  If you don't, then don't.  But if you don't, then how interested are you really?  So if you like him, you should want to call him, and if you want to call him, you should.  And if he doesn't take your call or you do all of the calling, he's not that into you, and that ends that.  I might be wrong, but at least this is the best answer that I can give.  If you like him, take the risk.  (But it HAS to be balanced, a two way street, he has to call too)...

Comment #9

Interesting perspectiveto me, I need a guy to show his interest, even if I'm interested in himso I don't call.  I can be plenty interested but I need that from himI want a man who's bold enough to call even if he's not sure about my interest in him.  Conversely, I can be very interested in a man but if he wants me to  chase him (says call me rather than I'll call you), it's a big turn offI will lose interest.  That's just how I'm wired..

I do agree that if a guy is interested, it won't matter to him if you call or wait for him to call.  But it matters to ME..

Plus I've found that when I've gone against this and called, it's pretty common for the guy to say, oh hey, yeah, great to hear from you, let's get together again (in other words, they feign interest, to be polite, I guess, who knows) and then nothing happens which is for the birds!  I don't need to be led on like that so again, it works best for me to let them call..

Anyway, just goes to show, no one size fits all answer ;-)..

Sheri..

Comment #10

I guess balanced calls, each calling the other, is probably more a good relationship (thru Match.com) reality than a dating (online dating with Match.com) strategy.  Chasing, I'm thinking, is the one showing more interest than the other, there at the beginning.  And I did chase once, I admit it, and got exactly the response you describe.  I e-mailed this guy who had asked me out a couple of times and then went silent.  I e-mailed him ("I had a great time!") and got back politely lukewarm responses ("Yes, that was nice, let's do that again sometime") and so it was that I failed in the chase.  : P  But I also don't like the guy who pursues me if I'm showing no sign of reciprocating.  I don't know why; it's almost like he doesn't care about my feelings. .

Because in a good relationship, each should call the other with equal responsiveness and interest, and that's the thing.  It just seems like the guy who calls and asks her out and they have a nice date using Match.com and he ends the date using Match.com by saying "call me" may be announcing that he's relationship (thru Match.com) ready.  Because in the relationship, she will in fact call when she wants to call.  And he knows that.  So if she doesn't call, he may think she's not interested, and so the thing fizzles out.  .

It's just  seems like the answer may be simple.  It HAS to be balanced but I guess at the end of the day, as long as he's calling me, I will call him...

Comment #11

I totally agree with everything you have written in this post.  I am a lurker, and happened to see your posting.  I felt as if I wrote it.  This is sooo me to the letter and I must also add that my state of mind remains in a healthy zone because of this.  You go girl !!!..

Comment #12

I'm more like this too - I prefer to be called by my man (and he does initiate most of our calls). when we met - he gave me his number and asked me to call him. I gave him mine and said "I prefer you to call me" - which I think the OP can say here - next time he says "I'll be waiting for your call" smile pretty and say "Why don't you call me?".

What interested man would NOT accept that invitation?.

Toni..

Comment #13

I didn't get the beginning of the thread but 'call me when you're ready' is not the most inviting kind of invitation to receive unless of course it's call me when you're ready for a real relationship!.

,..

Comment #14

I didnt read the original post but I certainly hope that if he doesn't treat you with respect and care that you don't sleep with him.  We have to value ourselves in order to have others value us!.

,..

Comment #15


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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