Your question was: Has anyone dated an African-american MD living in B'gham on match.com? Beware?.
Yes, if a guy is interested he will put forth the effort. I guess this guy sees you as someone who he'd like to date...if it is convenient...
I think you should just call him! Call him and chat for awhile and then, if all is going well, say "hey, I'm going to be in town on such & such a date" and see if he responds and invites you to meet up. This whole idea that women can't initiate a phone call to a guy she is interested in is very three decades ago. I tell my daughters about this old rule of dating (online dating with Match.com) and they roll their eyes, like the rule was some ridiculous contrivance and of course women should be able to initiate contact. Such is the world of dating (online dating with Match.com) today. Some men like to pursue and others like it if the woman takes the initiative and then there's this whole gray area in between. But there's nothing wrong with prompting the interest. Plus, it can't hurt. If he says no, you're in the same place you are now and that's that. If he invites you to meet, then good for you. I vote that you should just pick up the phone and call him. Good luck! ..
Did you give him your number again? If he thought you were too far away to date, he might have thrown it away the first time, and then he was embarrassed to say he didn't have it anymore.
There's nothing wrong with calling a man, these days, though I do agree that him asking you to do the pursuing could mean that he isn't all that interested. I'd give him ONE call - just a casual chat, prior to your next visit. See if HE suggests a meeting, but if he doesn't, don't push it. Accept that he just isn't that into you and move on...
I think your EXPECTATIONS for a man to call YOU, is, where I think you're thinking could be adjusted. What would happen if YOU called him?.
Well I f you are coming to his town again you can give him a quick call to say you'll be around but after that, up to him.
I don't think it would hurt if you called first. Men can be so insecure and scared of rejection that they therefore would rather pass up an opportunity than be shot down and feel rejected. Personally I consider these types of men rather wimpy, but if you really dig the guy I would help him out a bit in the beginning. After you have made it clear that you like him and he will not be rejected hopefully he will become more aggressive and masculine..
If you like him, make the call. if after that, he still doesn't call, he's not worth the time. he should be putting some effort. then again, he might not want to bother you unless you're in town. and figures if you're in town, you would call him...