Has anyone been scammed by

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My first question is: Has anyone been scammed by

My next question is: I know this is long, but I really need an outside opinion, please read it. 2 years ago I was engaged, a girl that wanted my fiance recruited an old acquaintance of mine to break us up. We started talking and I realized how much alike we were, and tried to get he and my fiance to be friends. Then it came out that he was helping this woman break us up. I told him that he was a liar and I couldn't believe a word he had told me, he insisted that although it started off as something cruel, he really did start to care about me. I believed him, and it terrified me, so I blocked him from contacting me.

As I was attracted to him too, I kept him blocked. (I did not want to be 'that girl' who leaves her boyfriend for another man) As one might guess, my fiance and I did break up, and about 4 months ago I emailed this guy to see how he was. Since then we have emailed each other at least once a week. They are long letters, discussing everything from our daily lives, to football, to literature, to history, to science, to what we want in our lives. (i.e.

 He also tells me about women that are pursuing him, and always finishes by giving reasons why he will not date using her. About two months ago he told me that he may be terminally ill, and I realized that I care about him romantically. I gave him my number and asked him to call me.  He said that if he did that, it ruin our 'penpal dynamic' which would be a shame since 'having a penpal is pretty cool.' I brushed it off, and even started dating (online dating with somebody else. When I told him I was dating (online dating with somebody, the frequency of his letters dropped and he said things such as, "I didn't think you would miss hearing from me, you are busy with your boyfriend". I assured him he is still my friend, but he still didn't write as much. Until he found out that I broke up with my boyfriend.

Its really quite terrible because I enjoy writing to you." and, "Perhaps you just don't know I am a jerk because I feel an oddly innate need to impress you and come off as more kind than I otherwise would."I don't know how to read him in this area (which is odd, because we are very much alike). On the one hand, he writes a lot (and he is a very busy man), and about things of a personal nature, and he does care about me, at least as a friend. On the other hand, if me dating (online dating with somebody else woke him up, why hasn't he called once he found out that I broke up with my boyfriend? We have both moved since we met and now live about 800 miles away from each other, which could be a factor, as he hates long distance relationships. Does anybody have any opinions, ideas? Advice?Anything? Thank you so much..

Comments (7)

Your question was: Has anyone been scammed by

"On the other hand, if me dating (online dating with somebody else woke him up, why hasn't he called once he found out that I broke up with my boyfriend? ".

Good question - I think you should ask him that very question and see how he responds...

Comment #1

I'm not really sure what the point of any of your inquiries are if you live 800 miles away from each other.  Say he is interested, how could you really date using that way and be happy?..

Comment #2

Well, I will be moving back to our hometown in about three weeks, he lives about 3 hours away by driving.  Honestly, I know it would be hard, but I also think that it could be worth it..

Comment #3

I agree, get things out in the open, see where you stand. Good luck.


Comment #4

It sounds to me like he enjoys your friendship just as it is. You can certainly get it out in the open by asking him if that will ease your mind. If he did just find out that he is terminally ill, then he probably isn't interested or ready to start a relationship (thru right now because he needs to focus on his situation. Maybe just being friends is all that he can handle right now. If you are such good friends then you shouldn't have trouble talking about what's really going on...

Comment #5

Yes a real relationship (thru can usually only be developed when the two people can get to know one another in a real way.


Comment #6

Just try not to have too many expectations, see how things go.


Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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