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Has any body signed up for a free 3 day trial offer with match.com to find out they made it hard to

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My first question is: Has any body signed up for a free 3 day trial offer with match.com to find out they made it hard to .

My next question is: Recently my ex-girlfriend who is still a very close friend decided to see other people.  We had decided to not be in an exclusive relationship (thru Match.com) anymore since this past December.  The thing is that we still pretty much carried on as if we were still together as an exclusive couple enjoying each other the same as always.  Two weekends ago we returned home from a weekend trip that we thoroughly enjoyed.  She had mentioned that she was going to be busy Sunday night catching up things around the house and preparing meals for the next couple of days when I asked her about seeing a movie with me..

I find out later on that she really had plans to hang out with someone else and she just didn't feel comfortable enough to be straight up about it and just let me know that she had other plans.  We discussed this scenario when we broke up.  The confusion is that up until now she has been representing herself as someone who is not seeing anyone and now I find out that she wants to see other people.  That week she had sex with some guy twice.  She now regrets it and feels bad about it.  I love her very much but am realistic about everything.  She cares about me a lot but is unsure of the love part.  That's fine and that's life.  I still love her enough to not let this come between us and still want to remain close to her.  She is good with this as well.  Don't know where this will lead but definitely am feeling hurt and confused because of being lied to. .

I only asked her to be honest about things and not lie to me about having other plans when we can't be together.  I don't need to know any details but I felt like I shouldn't be lied to.  How would you guys feel if you were in this situation.  If I wasn't in love with her it would be a much easier decision for me...

Comments (4)

Your question was: Has any body signed up for a free 3 day trial offer with match.com to find out they made it hard to .

::We had decided to not be in an exclusive relationship (thru Match.com) anymore since this past December..

That was the agreement even if it hadn't been carried out yet..

::I find out later on that she really had plans to hang out with someone else and she just didn't feel comfortable enough to be straight up about it and just let me know that she had other plans. .

Hmm, that's a hard one. I can see your side, feeling lied to and I can see her side, "we aren't exclusive so I don't really have to tell you my exact plans"..

Now you broke up over it - so was the break up because you feel she lied to you or because you don't want to have a 'seeing others' relationship?  Now she's slept with someone else and you are still considering a relationship (thru Match.com) so you can, what?  wait it out and see if she wants an exclusive relationship (thru Match.com) with you, will want to be on the same page as you?  What are you getting out of this arrangement?.

If you want more than friendship and more than an open relationship, then it's time to end it and just tell her, "I'm serious about you, if/when you want the same kind of relationship, call me."  Then leave it be.  Otherwise, you will be the one to get hurt over and over again if she doesn't want an exclusive relationship..

Carrie..

Comment #1

What you experienced was a woman who told you upfront she wanted to date using Match.com others and you agreed and now, she is not rubbing it in your face.  She is under no obligation to tell you what she does and when she does it.  You are not absorbing what she said about exclusivity.  Unless she tells you that she wants to date using Match.com only you, dont assume it.  This usually happens to women...not listening or absorbing what the guy is telling them about their dating (online dating with Match.com) scenario...

Comment #2

She probably feels that since you aren't in an exclusive relationship, she is free to see other people.  But as seems to still care about you/your feelings, she probably just didnt want to tell you so you wouldn't be hurt or so she wouldn't have to explain herself.  If you want to be in an exclusive rather than open relationship, make your feelings known.  I have been in open relationships and taken 'breaks' from relationships before and you really have to be careful to discuss the parameters of the 'break' or 'openness' so both parties know what is and isn't acceptable.  good luck!..

Comment #3

I know that I really don't have anything to complain about.  I established with her before this event occurred that I was ok with us seeing other people.  It only got complicated because she took months to actually begin to see other people (that I know of) and our day to day time together didn't change.  I also have strong feelings for her which is the main complication.  As long as I don't have any misguided feelings about us being in an exclusive relationship (thru Match.com) again I will be ok with just being friends, etc.  I am also moving on and seeing other people so that will help me too.  This is called life when people break up and go separate ways and sometimes one has stronger feelings for the other.  Usually I'm the one not feeling as strong about the other person so it was about time I got to taste this medicine for a change.  Thanks for the reply..

 .

Tone ..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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