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My first question is: Guys please rate your experience with MATCH.COM?.

My next question is: I'm in a wonderful and, what I thought, fulfilling relationship (thru Match.com) with an amazing man. He looks at me and only sees me. We've been dating (online dating with Match.com) for almost 3 years now, a year and a half of that was long distance, and we just started living together (its been about 4 amazing months now). He's away for the holidays with his family and for the first couple of days I missed him terribly. On Friday I went to a concert and got noticed by quite a few gorgeous guys, which I had completely forgotten how it felt (I'm not bad to look at...). There was one in particular, completely gorgeous, everything I adore in a man in terms of physical looks, and he couldn't take his beautiful blue eyes off me the whole night.

If anyone knows me, this would be completely out of the ordinary! I am a very loyal, faithful person to those I love and adore and my boyfriend is not only my best friend, but one of my favourite people on the planet. And he's gorgeous too!!! But I had to use every once of my being to fight the urge to do something that I would have regretted immediately. Luckily my will won and I walked away with just a kiss on the cheek. However he asked me to find him on facebook and, still being intoxicated but coherent enough to work a computer, I found him. Now we're friends on facebook and have talked a couple times.

We live in the same town and running into him will not be hard. My dilemma is this: I know that I love my boyfriend and I know that when he asks me to marry him I will, without hesitation, say yes. He is the boy of my dreams. Why is it that I cannot get these lustful thoughts of this gorgeous stranger out of my head? Is it because he is something new? I had never felt this way about anyone during the long distance part of our relationship. Even then there were gorgeous guys who I would encounter in a similar manner, yet I didn't even blink an eye when the night was over.

Why is it so different now, to the point where I seriously wonder if I would have remained faithful were the circumstances slightly different? I feel like i've cheated already! And it's horrible! Any advice would be spectacular!..

Comments (4)

Your question was: Guys please rate your experience with MATCH.COM?.

Hi,First of all you did not cheat. You got a bit swept away by a good looking guy. Once you fall in love it does not mean that you will never meet someone that makes you go WOW. The thing is you have to choose your significant other over the "WOW" person. Remember what made you fall in love with you SO.You just have to choose the one you love over the other. Especially if you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person.

That is how people stay in long term relationships. You are one of the blessed ones. You have found someone who loves you and you love him. Be thankful for that. Not everyone has that.

The love that works both ways. I too am not bad to look at. I have been with my significant other for 12 years now. I have had many others who look at me or want me to go out with them etc. But I choose my significant other because we are in love and I could not ever hurt this person I love.

There will be many people who will look at you if you have the looks, but so what when you already have chosen you man.Take care you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I know you will use it.Hugs,.

Laurie My web pages http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html..

Comment #1

I agree with the last response; simply being attracted to someone else is not cheating. You can't control who you do and do not find attractive; Love is an amazing thing but when we declare love for someone (or marry them) it doesn't mean that you can consciously decide not to notice other people. Love affects our heart and our actions... We can control what we do and say, but being in love doesn't put forever-blinders on your instinct to find other people hot.Don't beat yourself up, it's a crush, everyone has crushes. This doesn't mean you aren't destined to be with your boyfriend, think of it as a test of your resilience. You truly love this guy and Mr.

That's a great thing, and it says everything you need to know.My only advice to you is to keep your distance. Being friends on facebook, eh that's pretty harmless, but remember that the closer you get and the more you indulge your feelings for him, you are lessening your chances of getting over your crush. Cheating starts with one small step. I know you don't think you're at that point yet, but just don't let this progress.You have a lot to be thankful for this holiday, you have someone who loves you very much. Focus on your guy and make him as happy as he makes you..

Comment #2

Corresponding via facebook is emotional cheating, so yes, you are cheating in a sense.  If this guy is making you question your devotion to your bf you can: 1) use this to discover what could be lacking in the relationship (thru Match.com) - maybe sexual variety or flirting, 2) continue to correspond and hurt your bf or 3) cut off all contact so there is no temptation...

Comment #3

You can't always help getting crushes or how you feel about somebody, but I don't think continuing to communicate with him is a good idea. It's just setting things up for more temptation. I don't know how your boyfriend would react to hearing you have a crush on another guy. My husband and I have an agreement that if either of us gets a crush on somebody else, we agree to tell the other person. Some people would argue that it's better to spare your partner's feelings than let them find out about a crush. The way I see it is you can't have an affair as long as you're not keeping any secrets from your partner.

I think a little short-term jealousy from hearing your partner found themselves attracted to somebody else is much better than the tremendous long-term pain of finding out they ended up in an affair.Here is a recent article about affairs. Some of it pertains to your situation and I think you will find it interesting reading:http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24187/dating-101-everything-you-know-about-a.../..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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