Your question was: Getting lots of "wink" emails from Match.com, but some have misspellings?! Legit or not?.
Just because you are the first person he has dated since his ex doesn't make it a rebound. To me, a rebound is something that you intend to be short term from the beginning. It doesn't sound like this is the case with the two of you. If I were in your situation, I would continue to take it slow and give him the space to deal with his ex and see where things go. Good luck,.
If you look at things logically everyone is rebounding from some relationship (thru Match.com) (significant or insignificant) somewhere somehow. Even if a person hasn't dated in a year...emotionally he or she could still be rebounding..
So, the way to look at it is more like whether or not the person is transitioning and is or is not emotionally available. After your divorce you were in a transitional state of mind (from marriage to divorce). A lot goes into that transition period that one is not aware of until it hits you unexpectedly..
Your family members have had success in marriage because the people they chose to date using Match.com were emotionally available. As long as the person is emotionally available he or she is a good candidate for dating. Some people are drama kings and queens and need to enmesh their new dating (online dating with Match.com) partners in the drama of their old dating (online dating with Match.com) parters and stay in that drama because it feeds some sick need they have inside to still be wanted or needed or remembered..
I think the key as to whether a rebound might work is whether the person whose relationship (thru Match.com) ended recently has done the inner work to move on, or not. For example, have they looked at what their part was in why the failed relationship (thru Match.com) ended, and accepted responsibility for that, or is it all the ex's fault? Have they learned something about what they want or don't want, like your friend? I do believe that time is one component of moving on but time alone isn't sufficientyou have to do the work, as well..
I do think that having so many people in your circle who haven't had bad effects from being in a rebound is pretty rare but yes, there are definitely rebounds that work..
I don't agree that a rebound has to be defined as a short fling. I think that's the danger of rebounds actuallythat the person who ended their relationship (thru Match.com) doesn't KNOW that they aren't ready to get into something serious and healthythey are in the middle of it so they are not able to judge their readiness. I know now with 20/20 hindsight that I was not "fine" after my marriage ended (even though you could not have TOLD me that I wasn't at the time) and I ended up getting into a 4 year relationship (thru Match.com) that was a mistake. But I stayed as long as I did in part because I was so upset about having made another poor decision. But I realize now it would have been sheer luck if I *hadn't* made a bad decision, given the emotional stuff I was going through even though I didn't realize it...
Your frustration is well warranted. I've be someone's rebound before. And I honestly don't think he realized it at first. When he did he broke it off. So I'd say to talk this over with your man and see what he thinks. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. Maybe that's what makes it so hard..
I also think that lots of time will be necessary. Don't rush for both of your sakes. Most of the information I've found on dating (online dating with Match.com) someone in his situation says that the odds are against you, but that doesn't mean the two of you can't succeed. Somewhere I read that over 60% of second marriages fail. Boy that's uplifting isn't it. I'm working hard at beating this stat. I wish you the best in beating this too..
I was in a 2 year relationship (thru Match.com) that was not healthy. I was not happy and wanted to hold on to something that was no longer there. Finally I got smart and ended my relationship (thru Match.com) with the guy I loved..
A week later I met the man I am dating (online dating with Match.com) now. We have been together for four months and I could not be happier. With him, I realize of what I had been missing in my other relationship..
Is he a rebound? I thought so at first, now I do not consider him that. Why should I, he makes me happy...