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My 2nd question is: I started seeing my roommate...we had been talking all summer before he moved to my town for school, and the couple weeks before he moved in he started texting me on a daily basis, multiple times per day. we talked on the phone twice as well, for about an hour. he moved here, we hung out a couple times, then started seeing each other. after about a week he said that he knows it might be rushing and stupid, but he would be in a relationship (thru with me if thats what I wanted, because he just "likes me that much" and everything about me is what he wants.  We decided to just see how things go without rushing into anything serious right away, and I didnt want to jump, so we just continued the way things were and started seeing each other a bit more. .

Then a few days ago his down was in town, and he asked if I would like to go with him to see his dad. So I went, and I thought that was a good sign, because he had been distant for a couple days.  Later that night, we were in his room and he got a text from a friend that read, "how are things with you and Jasmine?" Seeing this as a window of opportunity to bring things up,I said to him, "yes, how are things with you two?".

He replied that he doesn't know..that he thought he wanted a relationship (thru but now isnt sure if he's ready for something serious..he's confused..doesnt know what he wants but cares about me blah blah... translation: He doesnt want to commit with me. I'm not the right girl..That's how I take it. He wants to have me there but have other options as well. So I asked if it was because he wanted to see other people and of course he said "no that's not it at all" Anyway, I left and said that we should keep our distance if he's not sure what he he immediately started texting me when I left saying that seeing me leave triggered something and he just needed confirmation for his feelings blah blah..wants to go to a move and dinner, etc.

Should I go? Or just cut my losses, because he's probably just, well..he's just not that into me....

Comments (4)

The irritating thing about men, and often people in general, is that they are easily manipulated by emotions such as loss. When you're around he doesn't know what he wants but as soon as you leave it becomes clear. Well, try being with him again and waiting for that fear of losing you to go away, he'll go right back to being unsure.I hope you don't take his actions as an affront against you; it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Many guys get scared of the word "relationship", it just means they shouldn't bother trying for one until they mature, grow some cajones, and are ready to be in a relationship (thru 100% without feeling trapped.Should you go? Yes. I would also suggest not finding a roommate under such circumstances again, either; it makes things quite complicated...

Comment #1

It doesn't sound like you have had that much time to spend together. If the relationship (thru is just starting up, I would be forgiving about him needing the time to figure out what he wants. I would go and give him another shot. If he continues to seem uninterested or unsure after you've been seeing each other for a while, then I would move on at that point...

Comment #2

So the two of you are roommates and now sort of dating? That can be sort of confusing. How are you working that?!.

Re the relationship (thru aspect move slowly. There's nothing wrong with that and it's good to be able to express doubts, fears, wishes, dreams, etc.  Build a foundation of friendship first..

But again - are you roommates? It's hard to keep things separate that way.


Comment #3

Yes, we live in the same house, but his room is downstairs right below mine. I feel as though living together already made him get really comfortable really fast and not try as hard. or something..Idk. I do feel that I lived somewhere else, he would be taking me out, getting me flowers, etc...trying to show that he cares. instead of us just popping in a movie or something when we are both home at night, or hanging in the living room watching tv. at this point I feel as though we should just go our seperate much as we can.

I feel he has pulled too many "stunts" and I am only 22 and so sick of this with so-called "men". Some of them must never really grow up, and I am tired of taking their crap. so for right now, unless there is some awakening his brain, things are coming to a hault. which for some reason, I am starting to want to date using other people, which is unusual for me. I must be lonely.


Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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