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My first question is: Find jbl746 from

My next question is: I have a male friend that I see quite often. We attend a lot of the same functions. We flirt, we joke, and we talk. I have always thought he was adorable, and would love for him to ask me out. He is very sweet, and I am attracted to him. He always makes a point to say hello, and hug, and even gives me a little flower occasionally.

I dont get it. Should I ask him out? Should I ask some of his close friends if they know how he feels about me? Help! I do not like rejection but He is so sweet that I know he'd be kind if he had to say no. How do men feel about women making the first move? Please tell me step by step how to handle this. Thanks.laurie..

Comments (2)

Your question was: Find jbl746 from

I always like the coffee route because it's very relaxed/low pressure.  I wouldnt ask friends about it, I think that's 7th grade.  You should be able to be direct with someone.  If you want to find anything out, ask the person themself...

Comment #1

<<I think it's best for women to subtly flirt and give him "open" signals rather than to ask out.  I would leave the asking out to him, it sets the tone of a relationship (thru as him as the pursuer.  I think women are happier when men do the chasing.  Our role is to be appreciative and make him feel very welcome and good for doing this.>>.

I agree - and also think that you can set teh stage for him doing the asking without actually doing it yourself! Like "Would you like to have coffee sometime? here is my number."  That is a clear GO signal to him and allows him to also be the one doing the asking. Works like a charm. The woman throws a softball to the man who will either toss it back or he won't.

When I was dating, I got lots of dates this way. I also got nothing a few times. But those were men I knew weren't interested in me so, moving on.  I didn't dwell on why - it didn't matter. .

I think where women go wrong is that they ask and then call and call and call - they basically assume the male role. And when women do this, they aer always insecure about his feelings and intentions. Little wonder - she has no idea if he's there because he wants to be (which she would if HE were pursuing) or because it's easy..

Yes, times have changed - but basic male/female wiring and instincts have not. The happiest couples I know are those where the man 'pursued' - even if she initially threw him a softball to get him in the game.


Comment #2

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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