Excitement and buildup for a first date

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So...i was out on saturday night with some friends when I saw a really cute guy across the bar. He noticed me too and as cheesy as it sounds we kept stealing glances and smiling at each other for a bit. He was so cute. I finally went up to the bar near him to get a drink, then he came over to me. We chatted for the rest of the time I was there. at the end of the night (about 1 am) he got my number as I was leaving.

I know this sounds 'dangerous'  but he just seems like the perfect guy, I have a huge crush on him already. I kept thinking, ugh, he wont call, just my luck. Well he calls last night. I was so happy. We talked for about 20 minutes.

He was like, I know it's a week away, but would you want to get together when I get back? I was thinking, um yes!! so we left it that he would call me monday or tuesday of next week..

I know it's really bad and I need to calm down, but I'm so excited. I have heard so many bad dating (online dating with stories of people being excited about another person, things going so well, then all of a sudden something goes wrong and it's done. I have had many dating (online dating with situations go bad. I guess I just want this one to go so well! I cant help feeling this way, he just seems like my type in so many ways from looks to personality. And I like that he called to let me know he wouldnt be around basically but would I still want to do something when he gets back. He could have just been like, ah forget it, i'll be out of town..

Is it normal to feel this way or am I way too excited about this guy??..

Comments (5)

Your question was: Excitement and buildup for a first date.

Awww...I'm excited for you too.  I haven't felt that type of excitement in years.  It is so nice to feel it.  I know it is almost impossible to do this, but try to enjoy the excitement in and of itself (separate from him)  because if things dont work out and you go on other dates...remember that you need to feel this type of excitement again - kind of like a measurement to go by..

Not only that, but things went well. He is behaving like a guy who is really interested in you.  From the glances to him making the first move, to him asking for you number and actually calling you and making sure that you are available for him when he gets back...sounds like a winner to me.  And that is hard to come by these days.  So many men screw things up..on purpose no less to keep us on our toes...that it is so refreshing to see a real man in action these days, not some insecure child at work..

Oh..get excited and feel normal..

Did you discuss what you would do when he gets back?..

Comment #1

Thanks (: He mentioned we could get drinks and/or a bite to eat..

I guess i'll just have to be patient and not expect anything. I hope he even calls again! Said he'd call monday or tuesday...

Comment #2

"I guess i'll just have to be patient and not expect anything. I hope he even calls again! Said he'd call monday or tuesday.".

I am so sick of people adopting this attitude.  Men have conditioned women to sit back and expect nothing and dont get disappointed.  Well..that is b.s.  You should expect people to follow through with what they say and if they dont...then they are not good enough to be in your company. And...most importantly you set yourself up to be a people pleasing doormat for the rest of your life..

 Patience...another ploy devised by men to keep us at a low level in life.  Patience is a good thing...when YOU decide that it benefits YOU (a strategy devised by YOU)...not to be forced upon you by some idiot who wants to keep you down so that you can jones for him and be so "grateful" that he actually followed through..

If someone says they love you, then they need to behave in a way that says "I love you".  If they dont...then either you and the other person do not have the same idea as to what love is...which means breakup down the road.  It also means that they dont mean what they say and dont say what they mean - and what that means to everything...

Comment #3

I agree that it is too bad that we sometimes have to expect nothing when we've been told 'something.' I have to be honest though, there are times ive gone out with guys, said I had a good time to avoid awkwardness, then not answer if they call back. It might not be very nice, but it is just awkward to get on the phone and be like, yeah i'm sorry there's just no chemistry. And perhaps they were thinking that there was. That's just the way dating (online dating with goes sometimes. I have been disappointed before by men so have many other women, I think that's why we are told to just not expect much in the beginning even if they guy is feeding us lines. He could be for real, he could have 5 other women he's also interested in.

I do have to wonder, why are we always told that if we're too excited about something in the beginning that it often leads to nothing? ive seen it happen to a friend of mine constantly. But she normally gets physical too you think that really turns the guy off? I guess I think that if a guy really likes you, he wont hold it against you if things get physical early on...but what do I know?..

Comment #4

Hey molly311, I can totally understand not getting your hopes up because we all do and feel the same.  What I feel is that you should still expect him to call you when he said he would call is not about getting your hopes up.  It is a way of *being* that doesnt permit someone to not honor commitments or say one thing and do another.  Getting hopes up is an entirely different animal.  Setting expectations with all whom you meet is another thing..

As far as getting physical too really is a crap shoot. Like Sheri says (northwestwanderer) on the board you could have sex on the first date using or on the 5 th date using and the results could be the same...he loses interest early on in dating.  My two ex husbands didnt hold anything against me by getting intimate soon after we started dating, obviously.  I have only had one experience where things didnt go exactly the way I wanted them to go initially after getting intimate with someone, but in the end I realized I didnt like him the way I thought I it all worked out in the end.  Luckily for me he moved far away..


Comment #5

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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