Absolutely! I identified that my fear was that I wouldn't be able to maintain. The weight lose phase has always been "easier" for me than maintenance. Once I realized what I was afraid of, I got myself back on program and was on my way again. I ate a bunch of bars one night and then was on program the next day and ate three bars the next evening before I got back on program though. Silly me! Thought feeding it would fix it. At least I only thought that for two evenings!..
Every time I have lost weight in the past. You are so not alone. Part of the journey I guess, and if we can learn from it, maybe journal it so we remember it next time, we can get a handle on it...
Yeah..it's the maintenance thing! I know I can maintain what I currently weigh because I did it for a long time several years ago. My fear was getting into the 40's and then to goal. I needed to slow down and let my mind get wrapped around the fact that I can and will succeed at weight loss. And I can and will succeed at maintenance. I really appreciate the support! I am really ready now to continue my journey. So glad I found Medifast and this group.
I don't remember ever being thin, I have been overweight/obese since I was at least 9 or 10 years old. That was 20 years ago.
Not being fat is a very scary idea to me. The "Funny Fat Girl" is my identity. Who will I be if I'm not fat? How will I know how to fit in with the "regular" people? How will I handle it if I start getting attention from guys on a regular basis (I'm single)? How will I handle it if people compliment me or say things like, "wow you look great! have you lost a lot of weight?".
I have a lot of fears about losing weight. I think that I have used my pounds to shield myself from the world and other people and my insecurities.
But I have never let fear stop me from doing anything else in my life. I have accomplished every other goal I have ever set from myself. And I am determined to conquer this fear, too...
I have the same fear.....afraid of gaining it back. I am constantly counting calories and worried about it....hope it goes away soon....I think I am more obsessed with food now than I ever was!..
I could have written this myself...exactly the way you wrote it (except I'm not single). I guess this is something we all have to deal with..
By the way....where will all the funny people be when we are thin? Think how sad the world will be. Should a few of us linger behind???? NOT!.
I too have lost the weight and then gotten stressed out in life or never learned how to control myself. I know I am an emotional eater and at times I just can't find the strength to control it or do something else, so here I am again. Loosing the weight and afraid I'll screw up again. I love being thn, I've been overweight my whole life. It boosts my self confidence and esteem. (Think I had a tough time growing up).
I read on this site not long ago a comment which will stick with me forever, the person said "I know I can never order a pizza when it's just me and my husband. And I thought about it, when I was married we'd finish off a pizza or 1 1/2. It hit home. If I want pizza sometime in the distant future, I'll go out and get a slice Period..
Remembering that one example should help me focus on all the foods that I tend to binge on and become more aware of my shortcomings.
I love Medifast and the support I'm find on this site...
I had a conversation with my DH last night about how I have been overweight for so long (12 years), and that being overweight is not just a physical issue, and is more psychological. Like msmoeneek, I also wonder how people have suddenly found more manners then they had when I was 58 pounds heavier. Now, don't get me wrong, people have always been nice to me, but never really have gone out of their way for me. The last time I remember people being like that was back when I was thin!!!..
You hit the nail on the head, sistah! I have been going through some strange feelings lately.
For one thing, I literally have to learn to walk differently! I can't slouch around in my "hiding my fat" mode anymore...
And then there's fear of losing control in maintenance, it seems so much easier to stay on the diet! (Go figure on that one).
And then there is just getting used to the contradictions flirty waiters, people treating me better and my reaction to all that (that it's not fair, while at the same time enjoying being treated as "normal").
And worst of all, when I no longer have to wake up being fat and worrying what on earth I can wear, I am going to start dealing with other problems in my life!..
This thread struck a chord with me... I don't have a memory of being at my ultimate goal weight (140). I was always the chubby girl in class, got chosen last in PE sports in grade school, and one of the shyest girls in high school. My senior year in HS a friend of the family got me to going to Weight Watchers with her I lost about 20 pounds in 4 months. What I didn't like was that first semester of college I tried to do weight watchers, but lied to myself I basically quit eating during the day and had a small meal at night. But I did get down to a size 16 and could buy "normal" clothes...
Somewhere I read that this plan is something like 80-90% mental and 10-20% physical... I believe that totally!..
I have a strange fear...has anyone else experienced this? I used to be 135 (about 3 yrs ago) and was very uncomfortable with all of the attention I got from guys. Like, VERY uncomfortable. Being hit on in starbucks, borders, the grocery store...I just don't know how to deal with that. As soon as I put on some weight it stopped and I was much more comfortable. Strange, huh? I feel like a freak thinking like that but it's true...I'm afraid of having to deal with those uncomfortable situations again. I want to look good for my fiancee and be healthy for me, but I really don't like the unwanted side effect of men thinking they can just say whatever they want to an attractive woman...
YES, YES, YES!... Just about ALL OF THE ABOVE hit a point of truth with me!.
I have been actively "working on" these issues since DAY ONE! Amazing how much our weight has played a role in everything! So many emotions that need "DEALING WITH" for us to stay positive and move forward!.
Losing Weight does NOT solve most issues... Acknowledging them, working with them, and being honest WITH OURSELVES starts (and keeps) us moving in the right direction!.
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!..
Man can I relate, I was in that boat a few weeks ago. Its a scarey thing. For me, I have gotton some negative feed back on my results, becasue I do look totally like a different person, and some people cant handle it. It made me feel bad and then I thought, I dont care what these people think, either they are jealous or who knows what but this is for me! I also still look in the bigger size racks, and that has just stopped. I definitely think that for some, looosing weight is very emotional, as it is for me too. SOmetimes I feel scared becasue I think what will I do when I am done, then what? Or, I feel bad because there are some people that look me up and down and ignore me now, that hurts.
Keep up the good work! HC..
Oh, I also agreee with another post too, I feel so uncomfortable with the looks I am getting from men, very uncomfortable. I am very happily married and dont like the roaming eyes, if I was single it would be different! I find that scarey and also how people just treat me in general, like now I am visible. it's hard. HC..
I think we can and will still be funny! I think it will be harder for us to get used to ourselves then for those around us. Do you know how totally weird it is to order an article of clothing, not order the largest size available, and then still have it be too large????.
This happened with me several times-even with a [i]swimsuit[i]! One of those miracle suits that are supposed to be tight, no less! Trustme, this is just weird, but kinda cool.
Couldn't do it without you!!!..
Oh yeah!! I'm with you on this. How will we ever go off this diet? Guess we better be reading the transitions and maint. boards..
And for those looks/comments etc that we didn't get before, some of which are scary and rude...I wonder if this is why some beautiful, thin women are perceived as bitchy? 'Cuz after awhile, how else do they put up with it?..
I've lost 40+ lbs (still more to go) & am always scared of the compliements I get - I don't know how to react when someone says I look great. I don't like attention, I suppose that has something to do with being fat for most of my life - it's easier being in a corner - you fell safer. In fact I just got out of the routine of shopping in the plus-size dept. for clothes even though I'm now a size 12, lol..
Last week a guy I've known for 13 years asked me out - I actually had the balls to tell him no & why didn't he ask me out before, of course he couldn't asnwer me that one. Christ the only thing that has changed about me is the weight nothing else - I'm still the same person - I just happen to look a lot better. I'm no longer that person who will just take whatever & have no regard to what I deserve & like in life. I love Medifast for giving me the courage to lose the weight & for being true to myself - now if I can just get over the fact that people keep staring at me I'd be on my way ...
I'm concerned about loving who I'll be when I get to goal and then having to transition to maintenance. I can't work this hard just to go back 'there' again.
I also wonder too at how quickly my husband seems to be the insecure one as I continue to shrink. I've spent so many years being the insecure self conscious wife that I don't know what we might endure in our shifting roles. Cause there is one thing I've learned....you can't talk someone out of an insecurity. You have to love them out of it and that takes a lot of TIME. It took ten years for my husband to love me through mine and now I've got to trade roles with him....its bound to bring some challenges..
Edited to add: I lost 40 pounds on my own before finding Medifast so while I have only lost 11 pounds on Medifast so far, the significant weight loss I've already seen and the apparent success that Medifast is going to be are why I speak of shifting insecurities so early on this plan. I am aware that I am not a 'vet' to Medifast by any means, but 50 pounds loss still has brought tremendous changes in my life as I'm sure you can imagine...
After losing about 50 pounds last year (before MF), I not only got lots of compliments, I actually got propositioned by a married man! (I'm a widow.) Scared almost all the weight right back on. Then I joined MF, lost 23 pounds in three weeks and it only took one slip (McD's) and three months later I have gained half of that back again. I've been back-n-forth, start-n-stop for weeks now and I cannot seem to recommit. I think the fear of being thin is something I need to deal with before I can ever be successful.
Also, I have to respectfully disagree with people who have lost weight and say they are "the same person, only thinner". Yes, our core values and personality are the same. But you cannot discount the fact that there is a significant portion of our being that is different when we lose weight. A person in a self-improvement mode is much different than they are when in a compulsive-eating, sugar-bingeing, mood-swinging mode.
So when the day comes when an old friend suddenly wants our relationship to change because of my weight loss, I'm gonna cut him some slack.
I hope I have the chance to experience this...
I disagree with that (for me) - I have never been a complusive-eating, sugar-bingeing, moos-swinging mode of a person. I'm just lazy & that is main reason for me being fat & frankly if someone couldn't see me for the person I was & still am even though there is less of me they (IMO) are not worthy of me. The only difference now other than being skinner is that I work out to keep in shape & continue losing & that will not stop once I reach my goal...
This is great...we all have some kinda fear...change is hard...I am the same person....but to find who I was...really was....that others see...is to get healthy...it was always there...lurking...waiting.... now instead of busting out of my clothes..I am busting out of myself...Feeling better..being positive...at 48 yrs old...finding a way to deal with life without turning to food....I am FREE....instead of 5'2 and 256 lbs...I am 10 foot tall and bullet proof....Thank you Medifast....Later Prez(Patty)........
Of course, all of us have an issue with this. I lowest I've ever been in my adult life is 155, (and a size 10!!) That lasted all of 2 weeks, before I started gaining weight..
This time it's different. Two years ago this month, after finding out that I had to have a mast. for breast cancer, went to the plastic surgeon to be told that I was "too fat" for the surgery that I wanted!! (I would more at risk for infections, etc). So now, I am the fat (but getting thinner) girl with 1 boob! Try thinking about dating with that!!!.
Now, this time, I have a clear focus on losing the weight, I want to be healthy, be able to walk up 3 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing! I'm too d*mn young to be like this....I will be 43 next month, I want to get thin!.
Of course, I still have issues, but I will have to learn to work through them. Say "thank you" when someone compliments me...I deserve this!! I AM WORTH IT!!..
Gb510...you're right. I was using my own example instead of realizing that we are all different. I should have written that differently. I am a compulsive overeater, and my outlook and attitude when I am "in the food" is sigificantly different than when I am eating healthy food and exercising. And of course I feel more confident and attractive when I'm losing weight, wearing new clothes, etc. But that's just me..
I did not mean to speak for everyone...
As our exterior changes, the inside has GOT to change. When you look in the mirror, don't you pat yourself on the back instead of beating yourself up? I know when I was 30 lbs lighter then I am now that I was much more confident. I accepted each compliment graciously.
Now I'm so ready to lose these extra lbs and keep them off. I'll be 55 at the end of the month and I need my body to be lighter so that I am no longer in pain.
I had hip replacement surgery 3 years ago due to my joint disintegrating. I have been in constant pain 6 months after surgery. I have finally found someone to help me control my pain. BUT I must lose those 30 lbs (again) and keep them off for good..
I can't afford to be afraid. My body can't deal with it any longer...
Sadly, I was a very different person on the outside when I was fat than I am now. I wanted to be ignored - didn't want to be noticed by waitresses, store clerks, friends (especially ones that knew me when I was thin), etc. I always assumed that if people were noticing me, it was because they were wondering why I didn't lose weight so I could wear the cute clothes I was browsing, or why I wasn't skipping dinner, or how could I have gained all that weight.... I tended to look down at the ground, skip parties and events, wear my husband's oversized shirts... Mentally, I was getting depressed, losing self esteem, trying to convince myself to accept that I would be an obese old person like most everyone in my family. Physically, I was tired, having increasing and more significant health problems, avoiding exercising...
I wasn't afraid to lose weight at all. When I realized Medifast was really going to work for me, the fog lifted and it has only gotten better and better. I hold my head high and it is amazing how many people smile at you all day long when you walk with a constant grin on your face. My only fear is that this is only temporary and that I'll gain the weight back. With my genetics and health issues (e.g. hypothyroidism and osteoarthritis in my back), that possibility always seems to be lurking right around the corner. It takes constant diligence to make sure that never happens - I never, never, never want to go back!!!!! (Did I mention never)...