There is something wrong with his story. It cant take 2 years to get rid of an ex from his house. I can see if he said it has been one month or two...that sounds believable. Depending on where you all live, I believe he can get a divorce without her consent. So what is his hold up?.
It's nice that you have a second chance at love, but be careful that he is not setting you up as the other woman. He needs to get his affairs in order before you get further involved with him..
Can you stay away from him? Are you able to tell him that he needs to get his act together if he hopes to have any kind of happy stable life? I can see that your heart is going to get trampled in this..
Thank you for the reply. Believe me, I have had the same thoughts. I suppose I should have specified also that it's not an ex-wife - it's just an ex-girlfriend which should make the situation more manageable. But she keeps giving him the "I have no where to go line." Which she does, she just doesn't like her choices and she knows that he is a pushover. He claims over and over that he wants us to have a normal relationship; no sneaking around and stuff, but he has lost total control over his own life. He wants someone to step in and fix the situation for him, because he's too scared and panicky to do it himself. I've told him numerous times that it's not my life to fix and if he wants his home to be a relaxing, stress-free place, he needs to fix it whether I'm in the picture or not. We have discussed the option of me stepping away until he gets this resolved. But honestly, I'm afraid that if I do he won't have anyone pushing him anymore and I'll end up losing him. He says I'm his rock and that I need to keep kicking him in the butt. I feel like a fool sometimes, but I like what we have - I just want a normal relationship (thru Match.com) with him and sometimes that feels hopeless...
Given that you pushing him hasn't had any effect, I'm not sure why you'd continue to beat your head against the wall. It sure seems to me that if he's given the choice between having you in his life and forcing her to move out, if he really wants to be with you, he'll make it happen. But since you're putting up with his wimpyness, he has no reason to be firm with her..
I agree with Sheri. If you put up with his wimpiness (and why would you...yuck) then he'll keep things as they are. The situation he is in is easily fixed by HIM...he doesnt need anyone to step in and do anything for him...
What do you mean, due to anxiety and control issues. If he truly wanted her out why is she still there? I mean they broke up nearly two years ago. This does not seem like a very good scenario for you. The best course is to remove yourself from the situation until and unless he REALLY is free and clear. Yes it will be painful but staying in this triangle in the long run will cause much more heartbreak.