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Does Match.com use background checks?

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My question is: Does Match.com use background checks?.

My 2nd question is: I am a single mom of a 22 month old and have been separated for 1 1/2 yrs from my husband, the divorce will be finalized very soon I hope. I had one very short-lived relationship (thru Match.com) with a guy my age who had commitment issues. So aside from that I'm very new back to the dating (online dating with Match.com) scene..

I met a guy at a pub on the weekend and we danced all night, went out to eat afterwards and walked back to his place (I said I would go for a walk with him but that I was not going home with him). He called me a cab and we sat on the step outside until my cab came and we kissed. He was very sweet and cute and seemed like a nice guy. He told me several times how cute he thought I was and he asked me if he could take me out and before I left he asked me for my number. He is 5 years younger than me but seems mature for his age. I was a little freaked out about the age difference, not so much because of his age, but because I figured my life would be too complicated for someone his age to want to get involved with me.

I know he won't call because I'm sure the way I acted was not very encouraging to him and he probably doesn't think I'm really interested in him..

So I'm wondering if it would be totally crazy of me to drop a note in his mailbox, since I know where he lives, to explain that I really did want to give him my number and hoped that he'd call but that I was hesitant because I was worried about my life being a little complicated being a single mom. I want to tell him that I had a great time and think that he's really sweet and cute and would be pretty happy if he did call me, but would understand if he didn't. On the one hand I think he might be flattered or he might think I'm totally nuts. I sort of feel like, what do I have to lose?..

Comments (8)

I guess I'll just hope that I'll run into him again so I can explain and see if there's anything there. I'm quite sure that he won't call because I know it's hard for anyone to make the first phone call and I'm sure I left him feeling very unsure. I'm just kicking myself for it and wishing I could go back and change it. I screwed up on possibly getting to date using Match.com a really good guy. dammit. It's just so weird to me to be on the dating (online dating with Match.com) scene again and of all things, to get picked up at a bar! I don't even know what's nuts or not! ugh. I think I am a little nuts! lol..

Comment #1

Hey if you're a little nuts (I am too) then maybe the right guy for you would be enticed by that kind of gesture?.

One thing to bear in mind in dating: In general, dating (online dating with Match.com) works when the woman gives off clear enough signals that she is interested to give the man confidence to pursue her. That's just generally.

As far as what's "nuts" or not, really, that's pretty subjective. Not everyone is weirded out by the same stuff. Be yourself, maybe by doing so you'll find someone who likes or matches your quirks...

Comment #2

Drop the note in the box!!!!! Leave a note sayying you were a little freaked out that you  are new to the dating (online dating with Match.com) scene. Thats it. And if he calls you can talk to him in person about your situation with out going into to much drama. keep simple. You have a child and you are almost done with your divorce and dont say anything more unless he asks...

Comment #3

He has your number, most guys if they have a strong interest they will get in touch with you.  You walked home with him, and you were kissing him on the steps so how can that in anyway be construed as not encouraging?.

I know you are excited but you might need to step back a little, your comment about missing a chance with a really nice guy, is a little premature.  You just met the guy, you really know nothing about him.  It is best to take things slow especially when there are children involved..

If you see him out say something to him but as for leaving the note.. personally I would think that was a little desperate/nutty. but that is me, not everyone would see it that way...

Comment #4

Did you give him your number or not???? I sense you didnt????..

Comment #5

I think it would be a sweet gesture..

Laurie My web pages http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html..

Comment #6

Hi caroline... ohhh, that's a tough one... if it was me, I'wouldn't put the phoone nubmer in his mail box.... he might have had a few at the pub and feelings change the morning after.  I think not giving him your number is a good thing. It sends the message to him that you just don't give your number to anyone.  Its good to make him chase you a little..

What I would do? Go back to the pub, same night, hoping to bump into him again..

IMO, if he is really interseted, he will find a way to find you ... ie, he'll go back to the pub again in hopes to run into you again. :-).

My best advice is keep yourself busy and "just go with the flow"... if love is meant to be, it will happen! .

Good luck!.

 ..

Comment #7

I would not leave a note in his mailbox. That could be interpreted as psycho. If he is interested, he will call you. The only other thing I might be tempted to do is to hit the same bar again and maybe there would be a chance of running into him again...

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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