Does own

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My question is: Does own

My 2nd question is: He has said the words "I love you" like 2-3 times in our whole 7 months together.  When he said it, I didn't say anything because I couldn't believe my ears and didn't want to say it back if I heard wrong. .

He also said it in an agruement,"I love being with you..I love YOU." .

I was too overwhelmed by the arguement to say it back. .

He is 36 and I am 24.  He has been married before when he was around my age and it was annulled. .

He and I use to have minor problems in our relationship (thru and that got resolved and now we just have little problems that we yell at each other and work out immediately..

He is less educated than I am even though I am younger, and I use to doubt our relationship (thru because of that but now I realize that that does not. .

I feel that I need more of someone who gives me affection and attention, and repects and admires me..

When we are poking fun at each other, I would call him a "dork" and he would respond back "but you know you love me..".

I would say "yea" but never in the full phrase "I love you.".

So here is my ques: .

A) I never believe in a woman intiating "i love you" but he already kind of said it so should I say it?.

B) actually...I have no guts to say it.  I am making him a small cake to congratulate him for passing an exam to get a job so should I put a card in it that saids "I love you"  ? .

It was easy for the first two boyfriends to say it to me and they were younger and it was easy to say it back meaninglessly. ..

Comments (7)

Your question is "does he love me?" when he's the one who's actually said "I love you" and you can't say it to him?? This doesn't make sense to me at all. Do YOU love HIM? You don't seem to really want to be with him. Why say it if you don't mean it?..

Comment #1

Maybe you should be asking if you love him??? Doesnt sound like it. And if a woman says I love you long as she means it who cares who says it long as it's true...

Comment #2

But I do feel I love him.  just have a hard time saying it because he doesnt say it enough for me to have the courage to say it..

Comment #3

Well then you need to find the courage in yourself rather than blaming him for your inability to say it. He can't do it for you. It's just three words, after you've said it once it will be easier. It doesn't have to be so hard, confident_resilient! Live up to your name!!..

Comment #4

Well do you feel that you love him?  You heard it, if you don't feel like saying it maybe you don't really feel it...  If you're not sure, don't say it.  But, if you do feel that you love him, and you've been together this long, just say it.  From what you've written, it sounds like he'll say it back.  If not, you know you should move on to someone who DOES love you. .

Good luck.  :-)..

Comment #5

How many times does he have to say it before you believe him? I don't blame him for not saying it more. If I said it to someone a couple of times and they never said it back, I wouldn't say it anymore either.

This is where the age difference between the two you comes into play. At 36, he is old enough and experienced enough to say what he's feeling, no games.

I could understand your hesitation to say it if he never had, but c'mon, it doesn't get any easier than this...

Comment #6

"but I do feel I love him. just have a hard time saying it because he doesnt say it enough for me to have the courage to say it."First of all, I know this is semantics but you say you "feel" you love him, not " I know I love him." So maybe you're just not quite there yet.And how many times does he have to say it? Once is enough for me. However, if it's not time for me to say it, it's not time. My BF was throwing it around casually in the beginning of our relationship, and I never said it back. Not even after 9 months of dating. I didn't say it back to him until I really truly felt it.

Don't ever say it because you feel you "should;" that's a big phrase to have to take back. And if someone tells you they love you believe them; also know that does not obligate a response on your part. If you feel like you HAVE to say something, say "thank you." And if he wants to know if you love him back, you can say "it's a word I don't use lightly and I'm not ready to say it back yet" or something to that effect; let him know you care, that you THINK you're headed there, but you want to keep enjoying him.Good luck..

***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***..

Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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