Your question is "does he love me?" when he's the one who's actually said "I love you" and you can't say it to him?? This doesn't make sense to me at all. Do YOU love HIM? You don't seem to really want to be with him. Why say it if you don't mean it?..
Maybe you should be asking if you love him??? Doesnt sound like it. And if a woman says I love you first...as long as she means it who cares who says it first...as long as it's true...
But I do feel I love him. just have a hard time saying it because he doesnt say it enough for me to have the courage to say it..
Well then you need to find the courage in yourself rather than blaming him for your inability to say it. He can't do it for you. It's just three words, after you've said it once it will be easier. It doesn't have to be so hard, confident_resilient! Live up to your name!!..
Well do you feel that you love him? You heard it, if you don't feel like saying it maybe you don't really feel it... If you're not sure, don't say it. But, if you do feel that you love him, and you've been together this long, just say it. From what you've written, it sounds like he'll say it back. If not, you know you should move on to someone who DOES love you. .
Good luck. :-)..
How many times does he have to say it before you believe him? I don't blame him for not saying it more. If I said it to someone a couple of times and they never said it back, I wouldn't say it anymore either.
This is where the age difference between the two you comes into play. At 36, he is old enough and experienced enough to say what he's feeling, no games.
I could understand your hesitation to say it if he never had, but c'mon, it doesn't get any easier than this...
"but I do feel I love him. just have a hard time saying it because he doesnt say it enough for me to have the courage to say it."First of all, I know this is semantics but you say you "feel" you love him, not " I know I love him." So maybe you're just not quite there yet.And how many times does he have to say it? Once is enough for me. However, if it's not time for me to say it, it's not time. My BF was throwing it around casually in the beginning of our relationship, and I never said it back. Not even after 9 months of dating. I didn't say it back to him until I really truly felt it.
Don't ever say it because you feel you "should;" that's a big phrase to have to take back. And if someone tells you they love you believe them; also know that does not obligate a response on your part. If you feel like you HAVE to say something, say "thank you." And if he wants to know if you love him back, you can say "it's a word I don't use lightly and I'm not ready to say it back yet" or something to that effect; let him know you care, that you THINK you're headed there, but you want to keep enjoying him.Good luck..
***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***..