Does cost any money?

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My question is: Does cost any money?.

My 2nd question is: I have been dating (online dating with a man for 4 months now.  Everything is going great for the exception of him bringing up his ex wife.  To give a bit of history he was married to her "officially" for 17 1/2 years.  She cheated on him with another man whom she lives with now and from what I am told she wasn't all that nice during their marriage.  At first I didn't mind him talking about her.  It gave me a bit of history on what they had together but now it's really starting to bother me.  In the beginning of our relationship (thru he was talking about her a lot up until I asked him if he was still in love with her.  He said NO Way!! and he stopped for awhile but now he brings her up even talking about their past sex life and such.  I throw up my hands say I don't want to know.  He chuckles an says oh yea it's a girl thing.  I'm confused because for me all that is in the past and why bring up someone else while you are working on a new relationship (thru in the now.  I have an ex husband and seldom do I even talk about him at all.  If anyone could help me understand or give some helpful advice I would greatly appreciate it.  He is a great guy and I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I sure don't want no baggage ruining it.....

Comments (6)

Hi  tsettle34,.


Welcome to the board!!.

How long has it been since his divorce?  This might just be a matter of habit.  He's used to talking about her and he might still be working through all of the emotions of a divorce.  Sound like you've been divorced a little longer than he has..

My BF only talks about his ex because of the kids, but if I talk about my ex it's a bigger deal.  I don't have kids and my ex and I don't have any contact. .

Be sure to tell him TMI as often as you need to.  Hopefully it will get better.  If not, you will have to sit him down and tell him this is a problem for you and see if you can work out something..



Comment #1

Actually it's 3 years today since his divorce became final..

Comment #2

It is not a "girl thing" it is a rude thing.  What nerve he has constantly talking about the ex.  If he wants her so bad...then let him go. Counseling might help to determine if he does this because he wants you to be insecure because he is insecure (kind of obvious dont you think?) and to see if he can grow up. can just give him a small dose of what he gives you so that he can see how hurtful it is - not the best course of action, but some people dont respond to honest conversation. Which then leads me to ask...why are you with this guy?..

Comment #3

Okay, so three years is a bit long for him to be talking about his ex.  Has he tried counseling?  Might be a good idea for him.  This way he can get it off his chest and focus on you when the two of you are together.  Gentle make this suggestion.  I'd just be sure to add that you like the two of you, but need him to figure out why he still speaks of her so often..

You seem like a very patient person.  I wish I had more patience!!!.

Best of luck,.



Comment #4

>>He is a great guy and I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I sure don't want no baggage ruining it...<<1. You don't know him well enough to determine if you want to spend the rest of your life with him, that takes longer than 4 months...2. Most people are on their best behavior the first 6 months, the real person doesn't start showing until later than that, if this is his best (constantly bringing up his ex) I would hate to know what his worst was. And he has done his since the are not going to change him (no matter how wonderful you may be), he is the only one that can do that, doesn't sound like he does. 3. If you don't want someones baggage to ruin your relationship, sounds like this guy is not what you need.You need to decide if you want to continue listening about his ex, or not. You control your life, if it is unacceptable to you then take yourself out of the situation...

Comment #5

How long have they been apart? It does sound like he's still dragging around some heavy baggage from that relationship.  It's definitely uncool for him to be talking to you about his sex life with his ex.


Comment #6

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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