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Does anyone knows if there's a problem with music match.com; I'm unable to get CD info. nor access t

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My first question is: Does anyone knows if there's a problem with music match.com; I'm unable to get CD info. nor access t.

My next question is: Ok, so I've been dating (online dating with Match.com) this guy for about 3 months and he is absolutely great since we met.  He's told me that he's been hurt and what not and wants to be careful when dating.  Well, we did move a bit fast and feelings developed fast as well.  He still doesn't want an exclusive relationship (thru Match.com) but we go out together and I've meet his friends and stuff.  Weeks go by and he's opened up to me about how he feels and they're all good things.  It just doesn't make sense to me when someone feels one way but doesn't want it.  I'm not sure if I just think into it too much or what.  It is only a few months..  So..  Please help me out.....

Comments (10)

Your question was: Does anyone knows if there's a problem with music match.com; I'm unable to get CD info. nor access t.

It doesn't make sense to you because it's shady.  Trust your instincts.   Things aren't corresponding..

There's been alot of threads here recently with basically the same situation - the guy says he doesnt want exclusive but then you continue to see each other anyway and "everything's great".   Well, sorry to break it, but it must not be as great as you think it is if the guy doesnt want to commit. .

If you can be chill and just keep having fun and enjoying his company, then there is no problem.  But if you want that official commitment and so on then you know what you need to do (i.e. move on)...

Comment #1

IMO, if a person starts out a relationship (thru Match.com) with saying to the other party... "I have to be careful..." then he or she shouldnt be dating.  That puts a real damper on any kind of excitement or passion.  That person is then putting up a wall and who wants to bother with that?  I can understand if the two had been together before...and they are trying to rebuild..but to start out a relationship (thru Match.com) with that feeling just sends up a red flag. .

Even if one party feels a little twinge inside..then the twinge belongs to the person who is feeling it and it shouldnt be discussed. Unless the twinge is caused by something the other person did...

Comment #2

He's being honest with youHe has feelings for you but it doesn't feel safe yet. It's way better for him to ignore his urge for caution and rush into something he's not ready for than to take it slow, at a pace that feels comfortable and non-threatening.  As you said it's only been a few months. Trust and a real connection take time to build.

,..

Comment #3

Thanks for the tip!  It is weird and he's a lot older than me so you would think playing games gets old..  But, thank you!..

Comment #4

Thank you.  I guess it's hard too b/c he doesn't exactly makes sense to me about the whole not wanting to be boyfriend and girlfriend thing either.  He's a great buy and he is a bit old than I am as well so it confuses me. ..

Comment #5

3 months is alot of time. He should have made his decision if he wants a relationship (thru Match.com) with you or not. He shouldn't use previous bad experiences as an excuse. It's either he wants a relationship (thru Match.com) or he doesn't. there's no in "maybe" save yourself the heart ache...

Comment #6

I understand what the other posters are saying but I agree with DateDoyenn...a real connection takes time to build and develop..

Trust your gut feeling, enjoy your time with him and see where it goes, be honest with yourself - do you believe this guy has good intentions?  In the mean time, do not throw all eggs in one basket, date using Match.com other ppl but see where this relationship (thru Match.com) will take you.  I wouldnt write him off just yet.  But of course it's up to you how long you are willing to stick around.  ..

Comment #7

'...He's being honest with youHe has feelings for you but it doesn't feel safe yet'.

I am sure that this is exactly what the OP wants to hear. I am however, equally sure that this is not the case. I've yet to meet a man who when having feelings for a woman - which to me means finding her all around amazing and a perfect fit psysically and emotionally -  is in any way wishy-washy with her. A man with feelings for a woman will be pushing her to committto him, not telling her that he is 'scared, not sure, too busy, hurt in the past, does not fee safe' etc etc. IMHO and experience, all those things are excuses used in place of 'I don't feel that you are right for me on all levels and this is why I want to keep looking'.  Just MHO...

Comment #8

I tend to agree with this. My bf had some horrible dating (online dating with Match.com) experience prior to meeting me, plus he has been through two bad marriages, the second worse than the first. In both cases, the now ex-wives were the bad players. Yet within 2 months of dating (online dating with Match.com) he wanted to be exclusive with me. .

My instinct on this situation is that he's keeping the OP around until something better comes along. He's just having fun with her until he meets the woman he considers "the one." In my experience, every time a guy has said something along the lines of "I'm not ready for a serious relationship," it has translated into "I'd like to have a good time with you, but ultimately I'm interested in finding someone else."  ..

Comment #9

At 3 months, do you really think he should KNOW you are the one? You barely know each other at this point. At this stage you are all caught up in the "honeymoon stage" everything is new and exciting but you don't really know the person yet. Being exclusive is different than being "the one". You can be exclusive and not expect it to last forever. His age has nothing do to with him wanting to take it slow (that is a good thing IMO for anyone) he is basing it on his past experiences, and yes, some guys use what he has told you as a line and some don't...NOT all men think the same way about things. Most guys actually mean what they say but we woman want to jumble it around to what we want it to mean.

I don't see him as playing you or playing games, he has told you he wants to take it slow so it is YOUR choice whether to accept that or not. If you continue on with him waiting on him to change his mind then that would be YOUR fault not his. You can enjoy someones company, like them, want to hang out with them, care about them without making them your mate for life. For me, if sex is involved being exclusive is a must and that is discussed before the fact to make sure we are on the same page.If you want serious and committed right now and he doesn't then don't see him. If you want to slow down and see where it might lead then continue..

Comment #10


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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