Your question was: Does anyone have the 1 877 number for match.com?.

I'm having a hard time understanding why a woman who is sooo attractive is obsessing over an unattractive man.  Not knocking theguy at all..just something doesnt seem quite right..

You are asking if he is insecure...but is it you who is the insecure one?.

Maybe he just doesnt see an attractive woman inside of you - lets face it you hung out with him while flirting with other men in front of him.  If you want to act single ..dont hang out with your FWB...a totally classless thing to do...

Wow...I come to this board for support/advise, not to be told that I am insecure and classless and I am ugly inside, especially since I am none of those things. I asked for advise, not to be put down...

Just wait until someone tells you you need therapy... lol!  yah, some of the females here can be a lil over the top.  just brush it off your shoulder girly ; ) .

Edited 6/8/2008 9:56 am ET by blairbear89..

If it helps, I completely disagree with ragingangel.  I am told I look great and I will date whomever I wish, regardless of looks.  The intellect, charm, and personality are what I find attractive.  To suggest that there's something not right with my dating (online dating with Match.com) someone based on personality rather than looks is itself just not quite right..

On the other hand,  I never left any of my dates sitting at the end of the bar while I flirted around.   In fact, I daresay, I'd have been left at that bar all by myself!  You have some major fixing to do.  If he's still going out with you, he must still like you.  I recommend:  Tell him you like him; make a point of not flirting with any other men while you're together; and instead be flirty with him.  By "flirty" I'm talking the old-fashioned way of flirting a touch on the arm, a tilt of the head, laugh at his jokes.  I suspect he'll come around. .

Lwara..

Thank you lwara!.

Well, we werent "dating" but rather hanging out as friends...and also, it was generally me out with my buddies and he'd come hang out with us and he was never alone (he came with friends). So I saw nothing wrong with giving my number to other guys and talking to them..

I told him that I like him as more than a friend but he said to me for the second time that he's sorry, but he just cannot, but likes me a lot and would like to remain friends. So that's what we're doing; being friends.

I am about to go hang out with him now, just watch a movie and get ice cream, nothing else. And that is how I will take it also...

This is the danger of getting 'involved' with someone you really aren't that into - you still get attached and used to their presence. Consider it this way - working a part time job for 40 hours doesn't make it a full time job - it just takes a full time effort without real benefit and keeps you unavailable for what you really want..

I would look at this as more of a situation of this guy wanted more than you were willing to give - and he finally spoke up for his own best interests - and your kneejerk reaction is that you get obsessive.  You really didn't 'want' him full time when you had access to him - is your obsession for him now because of a great love and desire to add joy and happiness to his life or because you aren't able to have what was in essence 'comfort' of someone who wanted you?.

HOn, usually it's the opposite scenario that gets posted here - guy isn't 'that' into a woman for whatever reason and decides to move on. YOu said yourself "I was looking for friends and J wasnt my type AT ALL and I knew there would be nothing between us' - nothing changed except his willingness to be your FWB. Otherwise, you would have treated him with more consideration when you had the opportunity. .

So look at this with a realistic and rational mind - what you are obsessing over losing isn't love but rather someone who provided you comfort, companionship and attention according to your terms. He decided that wasn't enough for him. Let him go gracefully - it's seems you want him for the wrong reasons.

Learn the lessons here - always be clear what you want and communicate that clearly to others. do not change the rules midway through withoutalso communicating what's changed. Always treat people with courtesy and respect regardless of their role in your life. Let go of what isn't meant for you with grace and dignity. Never go out with someone just to have something to do - that's unfair to the other person..

Toni..

Thanks for your replies..

Well, basically here's what's happened now. We saw each other yesterday, it was way too hot to go anywhere or do anything so we ended up watching a movie at his place. I could (and I think he also) just feel the 'electricity" between him and I while sitting next to each other on the couch and watching the movie. We then just talked while inching our way closer to each other. We ended up holding hands and cuddling.

He is also very careful to point out his doings and comings and goings, to point out that he made himself available to me the whole Sunday (I didnt leave til 9pm) and when he gets a text, he tells me exactly who's texting ("oh it's my friend Mike")...I find that interesting. There's also something about the way he looks at me.

Maybe I am reading too much into this but yes, I screwed up and yes, I am trying to show him that I am not like "that" at all. Whether or not he is receptive to that, I am not sure, I guess time will only tell in the end. I do remember him saying to me in the beginning that we need to be friends first when I asked him "so what are we?". So who knows...I am just trying to thread carefully to protect my own heart.

What do you all think? ..