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Does anyone have screenshots of the match.com commercial with the cute guy sitting in a chair lookin

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My first question is: Does anyone have screenshots of the match.com commercial with the cute guy sitting in a chair lookin.

My next question is: Hi everyone.  Hopefully this is the right board for this post, the question is simple, I suspect the answer may not be. .

Quick background, met a guy (internet dating (online dating with Match.com) site) over a year ago (August 2006).  We've seen each other fairly steadily since then, although we did have one 3-4 month hiatus.  During that time we dated other people here and there but nothing serious came out of it for either one of us.  We get along great, similar interests, goals, view, etc. etc.  Very strong physical attraction, and yes there's been a lot of  (awesome) sexual activity.  The "talk" came up at one point but we never really got any clear definition on it...a lot of hemming and hawing..

Finally a couple of weeks ago I got up the nerve (very hard for me, never spoke up for myself this way before) to say, so what the hell???  Everything seems cool for us, do you want a relationship (thru Match.com) or not???  He was honest and said he does not want one right now (with anyone, actually) he's not sure what he wants.  Ok fine, well, I am not going to do this friends with benefits thing either, which is what this seems to have turned into.  It's either STRICTLY friends, or exclusivity, or nothing.  So, I figured that was that, and I'd never hear again, suspecting maybe he was looking for no strings attached and I was NOT going to be that..

But I did hear.  Quite a bit.  I laid it all on the line and he still came back.  Kept calling me and talking for hours about everything going on like always  So we got together, and he was the perfect gentleman, he totally respected my not wanting to be "physical" friends.  Even laying in bed watching tv, didn't so much as lay a finger on me.  Sooooo...he must really like me that he wants to be friends no matter what, and that's great...but here's the problem.  I still want him SO bad as more than that.  How long do you keep hoping someone might change his mind?  We are SUCH good friends, I really love having him in my life, but I feel sad at the same time.   It is so frustrating because I know we would be awesome together.  I strongly suspect he does to but something's holding him back.  But he said that's not what he wants now, and I have to understand and respect that.  Do I give up hope altogether?  Also, I know I would just die if he said he was dating (online dating with Match.com) someone...how do I handle that if it comes up?  And yes, I know I can date using Match.com others too, but the truth is I just don't want to.  I only want him. : (..

Comments (9)

Your question was: Does anyone have screenshots of the match.com commercial with the cute guy sitting in a chair lookin.

I would suggest taking a step back from the relationship (thru Match.com) emotionally. Easier said, than done. But he seems like a catch if you can just get your heart safe. Heartache sounds like an almost definite. I am in a relationship (thru Match.com) that I know will end in heartache, but I want what we can have. Better to have loved and lost than to neither loved at all, sorta thing. If that is how you feel then go for it, if the heartache sounds to painful, run...

Comment #1

Hi marievc,.

I so hear you.  ***HUGS*** When I saw him after I laid it all on the line, I thought ok, I can do this, I don't have those feelings anymore.  But when I got home, I thought, who am I kidding...I still have all those feelings.  I know the best thing would be to sever all ties, to protect myself, but I can't!!!  I've tried...he always comes back, and we are just such good friends, I can't bring myself to toss him aside.  I HATE THIS!  Why is this so complicated?!.

Thanks again for the support and advice...

Comment #2

Yes exactly. He is just so sweet and you let the walls down a little and then you get scared and put them back up, you think even higher then before and then he says the sweetest things on the earth and you just have to melt. Sorry for the run-on sentence...

Comment #3

You are going to have to be very firm with yourself about what you want and then be very firm with him.  It is VERY hard to go from the type of relationship (thru Match.com) you had (that you thought was headed toward exclusivity) to being just buddies that hang out.  Your feelings for him are stronger than his feelings for you and you have to decide if you can be friends with him and live with that.  It is probably best to step back for a bit and let yourself heal or you may wind up back in his bed with no more of a committment than you have now..

 .

Good luck,.

 .

YG.

Http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/..

Comment #4

Yes, yes, yes...to everything you both said.  Grrrr...I had to have SUCH self-control when I saw him.  He is SO sweet and looked SO cute and smelled SO good.  I know it wouldn't have taken much to start everything up again.  I wonder if it was as hard for him as it was for me (he had always been the initiator in the past).  Honestly, I really don't know if I can do this.  Sometimes a few days will go by and I think, ok, maybe I won't hear anymore and this will make the decision for me and I can just try to get over this.  But he always resurfaces.  I just don't get why if we are good in every way together, why not just be together???  Is the "relationship" label that damn scary???  If it works great, if not, oh well, we tried it. (I had said this to him before.)  It's not like I want to get married in a month, jeez!..

Comment #5

He is being honest with you so you should be honest with yourself.  Seeing him, even platonically, keeps you hooked. As you said you want to get him to change his mind.  The only way for you to get over this is not to see him at all and date using Match.com others.  If he comes around on your terrms at some point, fine. But you won't be sitting around waiting. You will be getting on with your life.

,..

Comment #6

Yes, better to have loved and lost but if you know you're going into a bad situation why not head it off before it leads to certain heartbreak?.

,..

Comment #7

If bad means in any way dangerous. Emotionally or physically, then of course head it off. But if your heart leads to a guy that you know will end in an heartache, is it better to have the experience of this relationship (thru Match.com) or end it before it gets started. Honestly, I believe that if your heart can handle the pain, then go for. Just jump...

Comment #8

I dont know why you are torturing yourself.  You want more than friends or FWB and he is sure that he doenst want more than FWB.  The way I see it...you have to break things off.  He'll hang around, be a gentleman..knowing you'll cave in again sexually one day, especially if things were good between the two of you.  By stating you want more and settling for less...you set up the circumstances for how he will continue to treat you if you two continue to know each other. If it were me, I'd just break things off, and move on...

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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