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Does anyone have a fear of match.com or any of those sites ?

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My first question is: Does anyone have a fear of match.com or any of those sites ?

My next question is: While I don't believe in living life based on articles in books and magazines, I agree with this article. I am all for women owning their sexuality and being free and independent. However, I have never been a fan of 'too-soon-sex' and thankfully have never done it. I believe if someone has to ask if it was too soon, it was.  And the author is right on (IMO) when she says:.

>>We always tout the exception: A woman sleeps with a guy on the first date, and they wind up married and it's all great. But for every one of those fairy tales, Ive heard 150 stories from women whove started down that road and didnt end up in the loving relationship (thru Match.com) they wanted.<<.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that every woman falls apart when a fling doesn't work out. But I've seen too many intelligent, educated and independent women go to mush and question themselves because of sexual encounters. What I think? If you don't attach emotions to sex and you can handle instant gratification and the consequences, go right ahead. If not, waiting won't kill you. Unfortunately, not waiting can (STDs)..

See the entire article here:.

Http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2008/12/when-should-you-sleep-with-him?currentPage=1.

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comments (6)

Your question was: Does anyone have a fear of match.com or any of those sites ?

Interesting article... I agree with you. The way each situation works out, in tears or in marriage, depends on the people involved and not on statistics. Having casual sex or sex on the first date using Match.com is fine if you can honestly say that you won't be terribly disappointed if it's the last time you ever see the guy, or if things just don't work out. I prefer to know a man's agenda with me before becoming intimate enough to have a baby by him or contract a disease from him. After having sex early, it becomes almost impossible to determine a man's agenda - at least for a while...

Comment #1

Overall - I'd say that in most cases women want real relationships so it could be a wise move to wait..to see if you can even stand the guy.  However, I feel that nixing the idea of sleeping on the first date using Match.com is something that should be decided on an individual basis.  When I have slept with someone early or on the first date using Match.com I dont feel I have ever been burned by it..

Besides the normal questions about oneself...you have the added complication of the man and his judgments and expectations too.  If a guy judges a woman who sleeps with him on the first date using Match.com he behaving hypocritically AND feels that he and his woman live by a different set of rules - he can and he is not slutty or less worthy of love but she cant.  If the is judgmental that way...then I wouldnt want a real relationship (thru Match.com) with a guy like that anyway so...good riddance.  Both my exhusbands didnt judge women that way...

Comment #2

>>However, I feel that nixing the idea of sleeping on the first date using Match.com is something that should be decided on an individual basis.<<.

Right. That's why I said in the OP that if a woman can handle any consequences of having sex early she should do what she feels like..

>>If a guy judges a woman who sleeps with him on the first date using Match.com he behaving hypocritically AND feels that he and his woman live by a different set of rules - he can and he is not slutty or less worthy of love but she cant.<< .

I agree, but the article didn't deal with this. It specifically said not to worry about what others think - it's about what the individual thinks and feels.

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #3

"I agree, but the article didn't deal with this. ".

Okay, but I decided to elaborate..hehe...

Comment #4

Women in general get too emotionally involved too quick, even without the sex.if you look on many of these posts, only after a few dates, the women is already trying to read every little action the guy does, and wondering where the relationship (thru Match.com) stands. whereas guys just don't care and go with the flow...

Comment #5

These things are individual for everyone but on the whole I think that it's best not to sleep with someone too fast - emotions get too chaotic.

,..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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