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Do you you think that Match.com or any online dating service is a rip off.?

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My first question is: Do you you think that Match.com or any online dating service is a rip off.?.

My next question is: I logged on to use an IM service I havent used in a while just now to chat with a friend who lives overseas, and my ex is online on it.  This ex and I had like one of those once-in-a-lifetime connections.  He is just really special to me.  We broke up because of long distance. .

After we broke up, we remained tight for a while - chatting constantly online and texting by phone.  But then at some point we were wanting the other one to contact the other first and when we didn't, we just assumed the other person didn't want to hear from the other and so we ended up not talking to each other.  Stupid, I know. .

The last time we spoke was 7 months ago, I was going to be in his city so I let him know.  He said he wanted to hang out.  Well, I didnt call him.  But of course, he has my number so to me, he could have easily called me as well if he really wanted to see me.  Whatever..

Well, now he is on and I want to say hello so badly lol  I really miss him in my life, not romantic, but as a friend.  I know it shouldn't be a big deal.  I know it is pride and just me being stubborn.  Grrr..

 .

Edited 2/22/2009 6:13 pm ET by blairbear89..

Comments (9)

Your question was: Do you you think that Match.com or any online dating service is a rip off.?.

YI agree to a point about 1 sided friendships. I have had a great friendship with a man for about 5 years. We dated fr a short time and for personal reason on his side we needed to be just friends. His daugter had gone into a deression when she found out about us dating...hense a widowed father and cop his focus needed to be her. Over the last year we have spent some time together....mostly me coming up with plans. But for that reason Im not sure but ..maybe cuz I can ave more free time then him.

Does it get titring no...he sends me little emails once in awhile thattell me hw much he does care about me. So maybe you guy just needs someone to take chanrge of the friendship and if it gets tireing...let him know ..OK it's you turn to come up with qan ieda for us to do something. Some guys just like to have the woman make the moves ...but you dont always have to. And if by chance he asks why did you call...you can simply say...I just felt like you werent interested cuz I was the one makin all the calls. Let him know you want his input to.

 .

 Best wishes..

Comment #1

I agree with the previous post - you made an input, now step back and watch. even in friendships a guy who wants to keep in touch, will do everything to make it happen...

Comment #2

Well, the next day he said hello to me online and asked if he could call me today and what time.  we talked for an hour today and he texted me just now.  he wants to hang out when I am in his city next month for one week.  so it's great right now.  this is really the kind of effort I like from people ..

Comment #3

Hm yah maybeee  lol!!   I'm just stubborn and sort of a princess about stuff like that.  and mainly just untrusting. .

The history with this guy since we broke up has been talking and then lose touch and so on.  I mean, I know friends lose touch and then talk again but this has been over and over and all just in one year (since we broke up) and it's just really annoying.  I like stability!  and I'm willing just to give up if it's going to be like this again.  but I think he knows I am on that brink and is maybe showing that he is willing to be reliable from now on..

He was a very consistent boyfriend, btw.  he was a great boyfriend, actually..

How was your week? ..

Comment #4

I am soooo damn stubborn that I refuse to let the man that I connected with wak away from something that in the future might e the best for both of us LOL. Nothing wrong with you walking if you feel it going that way again. Just dont walk before you talk. You have to let him know that you are feeling like you are doing all the work and would like him to take charge sometimes. And after that if nothing changes...find them 200.00 FNP and get walkin down yous road LOL..

Comment #5

Stability and consistency are very important in a relationship. If he is willing to give you what you want then - great, but if he demonstrates that he hasn't changed or isnt willing to give you what you want  then you need to not get too far into it...

Comment #6

The last time you were in his city you said you'd contact him and didn't.  That probably hurt him.  So say hello if it feels like the right thing to do.

,..

Comment #7

I feel like a broken record but it really is about communication. If you want connection, make the effort. At least you'll know you tried..

,..

Comment #8

Well, I've decided not too be friends with this person anymore.  I'm pretty sad about it : /    It's one of those things where it's a loss, you know.  Like you need time to grieve.  The way I am is, I give chances but then once I decide we're finished, then we're finished forever. .

But how those go is of course after some time, the person comes back and tries to talk to you again but it's too little, too late.  Well I mean, I tried already.  So I am confident in my decision.  But it's still sad because I thought this person would always be in my life. ..

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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