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Do you think its ok if your boyfriend of almost 2 years is joining sites like match.com and eharmony

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My first question is: Do you think it's ok if your boyfriend of almost 2 years is joining sites like match.com and eharmony.

My next question is: So, there is this guy that I work with that I think is really attractive ...the thing is, he works in a totally different department than I do, so we have no reason for interaction work-wise. He sits on the same floor as I do but WAYYYY on the other side of the room. we work in a huuuge open modern loft space. the last month, 2 mos or so, EVERY TIME he walks toward the area that I sit in to make copies he TOTALLY is looking RIGHt in my direction/at me...EVERY TIME. and every time I walk to the kitchen or out the back door he is looking ...I have only really talked to him ONCE, one time was on the phone I randomly got a call for him somehow it was transferred incorrectly, it was some psycho person (that was like 2 weeks ago) then the 2nd time was TODAYi was in the kitchen making coffee, he was at his desk which faces the kitchen so he sees me there.he gets up, goes in the bathroom, walks into the kitchen stands next to me and is getting water... so I say, "hi, are you Jason?" and he is like, "yea, I am ..." and I said "im the girl who got your weird call by accident the other day" (we had a breif laugh about the call because the person was crazy) and hes like "ohh yea, whats ever happened w/ that, etc" I wasl ike oh nothing, etc, I then said something funny about the situation cant remember what but he smiled then he asked me my name again and shook my hand but he was staring right into my eyes and smiling..then he kept coming to my area to make copies and looking in my direction and what not.SO, I dont want to be overtly obvious and just get up and start shredding paper every time he makes copies, or go to thekitchen for something every time he does, etc.how do I interact with him if we don't work together.....

Comments (14)

Your question was: Do you think it's ok if your boyfriend of almost 2 years is joining sites like match.com and eharmony.

You sound very young... at a guess, 20-22? I'll tell you what I did years ago in your situation, I was 22 at the time. Worked somewhere and suddenly this gorgeous builder appears in the office..well, outside the office, building some stuff for our company. I've spent about a day agonising, and then one day saw him go into the kitchen. Followed him, smiled at him, said 'hiiiii, how are you doing? what's your name man? I think you're HOT and... how about you and I have a drink there and then tomorrow night?' And it worked! Had a tempestuous...casual s thing with him whenever he was 'in town' for a few months... that was all both him and I were after at the time. I wish you all the best of luck!..

Comment #1

Im not young, HAHAHHA I'm a 28 year old  Finance professional =p.

I just wasnt sure how to go about this, back when I WAS 22,  I worked at an even bigger company and I used to talk to guys there allllllll the time.  It was never weird.

But now that I'm older and I'm different now, havent been in this type of situation since then, things are different, I am different, etc..

So just was looking for any advice anybody can give me.  =).

 ..

Comment #2

So I am going to question your age...you seem pretty young...every other word he was "LIKE" you were ''LIKE''.

And really messing around or being interested in dating (online dating with Match.com) some ne from work is a big no no. Its not good for the company, you co workers and most of all if it is s omething that turns into something and gos sour...AKWARD at work. Get you head straight hun....dating co workers reguardless if he works in another department or not is just asking for some serious emotional drama...

Comment #3

OK So I read th other post...28 yes you are young......

Comment #4

Who cares if I  said "like" it's a bad habit.  But that is besides the point and completely irrelevant.

Anyways,.

What does my personal life have to do with the company or others? it is not their business.

I dont see what the big deal is as long as he and I (should we even link up out side of work) both are under the understanding that we dont interact at work,  and keep it under wraps.

In the line of work that I am in, it is a laid back work environment.  I did verify in our company handbook and there are no rules when it comes to dating (online dating with Match.com) co workers. .

And there is no "emotional drama" unless you create it yourself.  Drama doesnt just happen, it is created.

And I am most definitely NOT a dramatic individual.

 .

So, what can I do? anybody else have suggestions?.

 ..

Comment #5

Ooops, sorry. You do sound much younger than 28 in your post though!..

Comment #6

It never ceases to amaze me that people actually think "just don't date using Match.com guys you work with" is a helpful or appropriate answer. I know happily married couples who met at work. I also don't see what your age has to do with it, you're an adult. I'm a well-spoken individual and I also have the tendency to say "he was like" instead of "he said", it's just a habit.Why not be obvious? You are trying to build up a rapport with him, there's no reason you can't make excuses to go over there and shred some papers! Think of something you want to talk about and then come up with a reason to go over to his part of the office. He may very well start doing the same for you...

Comment #7

It is totally unimportant the word ''like'' as every other word...to me raising girls and one of them being 22 who would never use the word like as an every other word....it makes you sound immature. And being that I have teenage girls as well and hearing their friends talk ...you sound about that age..so yes it is a bad habit for a 28 year old.

It is not thier bussiness but ''if'' you start dating (online dating with Match.com) and it doesnt work out think about how you will feel when he walk by you or you have to go to his departmen or in some ways you have to interreact with him.....you can do what you want no one is stopping you I am just sayin.......these are things you need to think about. And sense there are no rules about dating (online dating with Match.com) in your company doesnt matter. It may still be looked down apon at work by your boss or owners. ( people talk) Do you want to be the gossip of the company???? Just my thought...its truly is bad for the company..

Everything is laid back till you bring a relationship (thru Match.com) into it and it goes bad. Or you figure out there isnt a relationship (thru Match.com) either on your side or his.

As far as dramma( I am not saying you are this way) But as I watch my daughters friends(22 year old) and some of her friends that get involved with people at work and things go wrong...these girls are hurt and angry and let me tell you..they cry at work are depressed and it effects thier work.... They are hurt everytime they walk by the guy or have to talk to them......And I have watched my friends go through stuff by getting involved with people at work..it makes for bad work enviorment and over all worse for you if it doesnt work "if" something happens..

Bottom line...I am just saying think really hard and think about what to do if things dot work out...yes things might work out...great!!!! but if they dont....... and if you are then just ask the guy out for coffee...you might over all have a goreat friend one way or the other..

Edited 1/23/2009 11:42 am ET by bitemex5..

Comment #8

THANK YOU!!!!!!!! MY SENTIMENTS EXACLTY!.

 .

And by the way, bitemex, I said "like" 2 times. WHO CARES!  I am an extremely well spoken individual,  infact, I tutor less fortunate adults in  bad neighborhood of Chicago on LITERACY.  They wouldnt have some stupid young person teaching others how to READ and WRITE! now would they?.

I think I WILL do that, secretlobster, go shred some papers LOL why not right! Thank you =).

Oh yea and, it is totally ridiculous to come on here and say "dont date using Match.com work people" ok that is not helpful or an answer. I agree.

 .

 ..

Comment #9

Her posts are more difficult to get through than yours, and not just in this thread. I wish hypocrites would stop giving maturity and grammar lessons, it's really uncalled for. About the guy, is there anything you two have in common that you could bring up? Anything else you know about him? Maybe try to get a little info from people who know him..

Comment #10

I think your maturity level dictates if you can handle a at work relationship (thru Match.com) , ive dated 2 men @ 2 diffrent work places in my life. We were both mature and when the relationships ended there was no childish banterI say as long as there is no rule against it in your work place and your both adults there should be no problem. Go for it and goodluck !!! =)..

Comment #11

Why not start with something like (heh - like) getting a group of co-workers together for lunch or a happy hour after work and inviting him along.  If you have some friends that you regularly hang out with, plan something and the next time you meet him over the copy machine or the water cooler, say "Hey, some friends and I are going to X.  Would you like to join us?"  It gets the ball rolling in a casual way, no pressure to say yes, no pressure for it to be a "date" but gets the interaction going and you can see what develops from there..

You really don't know at this point if he has a girlfriend, a wife, a boyfriend, whatever.  But starting things out on a work friendship level could get things moving in the right direction in best case scenario or let you know his status as unavailable in worst case.  What do you have to lose?.

 .

 ..

Comment #12

Secretlobster- thanks, I highly agree..

Yea that sounds like a good idea, I'm not immature so if things didnt go smoothly it wouldnt be weird or anything. I barely see the guy as it is.

Going to have to read his body language and what not.

Thanks guys..

Comment #13

I second that. Have fun  but also be cautious and think of potential consequences.

,..

Comment #14


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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