Do u let the guy pursue or the girl?

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QuestionIf you started dating (online dating with somone do you think it is proper for the girl to call the guy or to let the guy pursue the girl? .


I never call the guy that I date unless the conversation was cut short by me and I say "I will call you back" or if they leave a message and I return it.  I have always let them puruse me.  Is that right or are you suppose to reciprocate?  My friends think that by doing this I am making the guy think I am not interested.  Your thoughts?..

Comments (4)

Your question was: Do you let the guy pursue or the girl?.

In todays world, dating (online dating with world, the guy doing all of the pursuing is a bit out-dated. Your friends are right, if you don't call him or make contact with him, he will think you aren't interested. There is nothing wrong with a female initiating contact with a male today. Having said that, it would be a problem if she was doing ALL the calling or calling too much, ie... several times a day, especially during work hours.


Comment #1

Do you believe in the concept of - great relationships are equality-based and mutually-beneficial?.

If YES, then what would be so wrong with both people doing things that are positive and proactive for the better good of the relationship?.

Men often get bashed with the context of - He's Just Not That Into You - yet women rarely have any measurements or responsibilities early in the relationship.  It's a double standard to be honest.  Your actions don't need to be perfectly equal with his, but at least do something positive and proactive to show your interest in him...

Comment #2

I think women need to call the guy and initiate things some times.  Because as a guy, I honestly need the feedback.  I always assume that a woman that won't take the initiative to contact me after the first couple dates is just not interested.  Because if she wanted to spend time with me or was thinking of me, she'd let me know.  So I'll look elsewhere..

I think you're missing out on some relationship (thru opportunities if you make the guy do all of the pursueing. ..

Comment #3

Hey Rob,.

So you, as a guy, think it's important for a woman to call you to let you know she's interested? That, to you, doesn't end the "chase"?.

Would you say that her actions when she is with you speak louder than if she calls you or not? Otherwise, it sounds like you feel the same way we women do when a man doesn't call! Which is enlightening ;-).

I've been with my guy over two months. I will call him when he says "give me a call" otherwise I will wait for him to make contact/plans for the weekend but not sitting by the phone.

That being said, when we are together, he knows my interest is high by the things I say and do. I think I have to let him chase me just a little bit..

Yes, every one and every relationship (thru are different, but it's nice to know some things are the same...


~Dare to believe in yourself~..

Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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