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Coworker confusion

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I am 24 years old and I work in an office of about 20 people. there is one man there and I think he might like me (he knows I'm single). I can tell you I sure like him. he is 29 and lives with his girlfriend. during the day he smiles at me ALOT and when he talks to me, he looks at me, like really looks in my eyes and acts very interested in what I am talking about even if were talking about a project were working on together. I am his right hand gal, he comes to me for just about everything.

He has not really :invaded: my personal space, like touching me or anything of that nature or suggested that we get together. I sense tension in his current relationship (thru Match.com) because the other day at work we were talking about stuff and I asked him how long him and his girlfriend had been together and he kinda rolled his eyes and responded :too long: and left it at that. how can I tell if he really likes me or not without throwing myself at him??? I am not sure whether to make a move on him or not! whats a subtle way of letting him know I am interested (i am a little shy) Someone help!!! I really do like him ALOT!..

Comments (4)

Your question was: Coworker confusion.

Sweet_t_1121...Pianoguy's first reaction to your post was:"I'll bet this guy's behavior in bed is pretty weird? Especially with all the 'animal noises' he makes?!"But the really big question is: SINCE THIS MAN ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND...ARE YOU COMFORTABLE JUST SEEING HIM AT THE OFFICE? AND BECOMING GIRLFRIEND #2?Pianoguy..

Comment #1

Weird in bed huh? that could be good or bad. he does it to get my attention and make me laugh. but like I said, I'm not sure how much him and his girlfriend get along these days considering what he said about her. he never really talks about her or brings her to any of the events we have at work where family is invited. I dont want to be #2 girlfriend. but if he likes me, I want to make a move to see where it is going to go.

But I am not the type to just come out and say :hey I like u: I am more subtle about it and I just dont know how to let him know without being loud or frank about it ya know!..

Comment #2

1. He is in a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone else! You only get his side of things, there are always 2 sides to every coin.2. If he starts a relationship (thru Match.com) with you while in another relationship, what make you think he wouldn't do the same to you? 3. You work together, some companies frown on coworkers dating, and if you do date using Match.com what happens when it goes bad? Would it be worth it to maybe lose your job?4. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. You said you don't want to be #2 but that is exactly what you would be...

Comment #3

Sassisizz makes alot of good points. You may want to check out any company policies on dating (online dating with Match.com) a coworker before you take the plunge. You are also his "right hand" person and that is a difficult position to be in during a romantic relationship. He sounds like a flirt. Just remember, when a guy like that is tired of dating (online dating with Match.com) you too, he'll make the same comments about you and he together "too long" too. Years ago I began to take notice of how men talk about the women in their lives and we all come across people who, if they were not with someone else, we would have considered dating.

He painted a picture of himself being used by this woman for his money and how he worked so hard and treated her like gold. I then started to think about the fact that if I ever dated anyone like that, he would bad mouth me in public too - I am certainly not immune to be treated the same way! It is one thing to confide in people you are close to. It is another thing to broadcast your personal business to the world. This guy told everyone the same thing, not just his closest friends or colleagues. Certainly I was not someone in his inner circle to hear this information.Your situation is too complicated to consider him a viable option to date.

This way you don't set yourself up as a homewrecker...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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