Contact him again? or let it go..

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I've been hanging out with a guy for about a month, I hesitate to call it dating (online dating with or seeing each other because we hadn't discussed exclusivity, although I got the impression I was the only girl he was going on dates with because of his busy work schedule. He's always good about calling and making plans and it seemed like things were going great. I went on a trip for a few days and he called once while I was there and said he couldn't wait to see me again, and to call when I got back. Then we texted a little bit the night before I came back. When I got back, I called and left a message about hanging out early in the week. He never returned the call.

But this guy didn't strike me as the type to do that, he's a genuine nice guy, a gentleman...or so I thought. A friend says I should give him the benefit of the doubt and just send a text to see if everything's ok since I haven't heard from him. But I hate to put myself out there, and embarass myself if he's just going to roll his eyes after hearing from me again. Any advice??..

Comments (10)

Your question was: Contact him again? or let it go...

Since his history with you has been the opposite of what you are currently experiencing, you might want to either call or text him and simply state something like "Havent heard from you since my message.  It's not like you to not return a call.  Hope all is well.  Let me know when you'd like to get together again." .

Things do happen in life that distract a person but generally speaking a guy who wants something doesnt permit distractions to interfere (and if he does - then he didnt want it bad enough), so I can understand your concern.  I'm sure you dont want to be number 50 on a list of things to do and people to want to be on top of the list.  But, hear him out first and see if what he says makes sense.  How he handles this will indicate what he has to offer you (priority, dating (online dating with interest or lack thereof) and then you can determine if this is what you want for your life too...

Comment #1

Snafu had a great suggestion. Since he had always been so prompt about keeping in contact before, you contacting him ONCE to inquire if everything is okay is fine. But if you don't hear back from him after that, I wouldn't contact him again.Good luck,YG



Comment #2

You both hung out and such, you didn't date. His behavior strikes me as a person who IS hanging out or dating (online dating with others. He may be busy with other people at the moment. I wouldn't text or call him again, the ball in his court and if he doesn't return it then it's his choice not to do so.  If he calls you back in a few days then you can ask him for an explanation for his erratic behavior and he better have a good one..

People aren't what they appear to be. You can only get to know a person by sharing time with them and seeing their behavior. Actions speak louder than words...

Comment #3

Wow, I was convinced I wouldn't bother contacting him again and I only posted because a friend made me think twice. Then I read the first two replies and thought, good points, maybe I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and try again, just this once. But then I read the last reply and that makes sense too! I'm torn...I might try one more time..but I'm sure if I do and he doesn't get back to me, I'll regret it. Guys are so complicated, how hard is it to just say to a girl, maybe this isn't working out??..

Comment #4

It's not hard at all, but they are cowards and scared of girls.  I personally would not call.  Wanna know why?  Cause you already did that.  When you got back.  You know? ..

Comment #5

Honestly, I really feel that if a guy wants to contact you, he will. The problem with contacting him again even if you just do it once is that once again you start waiting and wondering ... which you're already doing! Any time a man has been truly interested in me, he's let me know by taking action and contacting me, and he doesn't let anything get in his way ... if he's really interested and available..


Comment #6

You guys are right! He shouldn't let anything get in his way! And I did my part and called him. And even if I called/texted him now and he DID get back to me, am I really interested in a guy who didn't call back for a week? No way! Thanks for the help all!! :-)..

Comment #7

"he's let me know by taking action and contacting me, and he doesn't let anything get in his way ... if he's really interested and available."..

Comment #8

<<<...Guys are so complicated, how hard is it to just say to a girl, maybe this isn't working out?? >>>.

This why women should stay away from complicated guys. If you don't get closure with those words you want to hear "maybe this isn't working out", the healhiest thing to do is to give yourself closure by walking away and rather not wasting your valuable time with complicated guys like this one...

Comment #9

That is quite rude, especially since he said he couldn't wait to see you.  But you could send one more casual text or e to  say he didn't seem the type to be rude so you want to make sure he's ok.  Then leave it up to him..

Sorry - dating (online dating with can be VERY frustrating!.


Comment #10

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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