Your question was: Can't get into match.com palonely49?.
My BFF says I have 'pointy toed shoes' and I don't hesitate to use them!.
Seriously - it is fun to reconnect with old friends but the reality is that that often doesn't translate into wonderful nre relationships - even when you were very close back when. You're different people now with different lives and experiences. Any relationship (thru Match.com) that develops will do so because of who you are today not because you once shared something years and years ago.
Always remember - when you get inside your head - you are living in the future and not the now. Now is all you have. Stay grounded, enjoy this day and plan for te future without being attached to a specific outcome. that is what causes disappointment - being too tied to a particular scenario.
You might want to read a little book by Wayne Dyer called 10 Secrets to Success and INner peace - it's an easy read but could help shed light on your need to rush things..
I would send him an email tellin him you would love to see him and if he would be interested in meeting half somewhere for coffee or lunch. JUST GO FOR IT..
I so wish I could pull you aside and tell you everything I've been learning about the game of love..
I know that sounds goofy but the truth is, dating (online dating with Match.com) and all of that is a dance, whether we like it or not..
YES, I would play hard to get. And YES, I would WAIT for him to contact you now...he knows where you are. I would NOT ask him to your friend's birthday unless he contacts you before hand. I know it's hard, it seems like such an opportunity but I would hold off and wait for him first. It's really important to set the right tone of the relationship (thru Match.com) of him pursuing you. It works out better that way in the long run..
I would read up on all the books on dating (online dating with Match.com) you can get a hold of, especially the ones that help you with the "game" of love. And when I say game it doesn't mean not be yourself and honest but it means you don't let everything hang out and you leave some mystery and allure and not be too available, especially in the beginning..
Telling all, revealing all, being "there" for him totally really kills the excitement of the romance/fun..
In the beginning it's all about attraction/romance/delight...you want to enhance that. The quickest way to ruin it is to pursue him, see him too often, tell him too much about your life and not make it fun and light. You want to be light, breezy, fun, sweet but not head over heels, sexy....alluring....am I getting the point across? Oh, I forgot...flirtacious. Learn to flirt but in a subtle way..
I'd say go ahead and tell him you're going to be in his town, and suggest that you meet, nothing to loose there. The one thing to consider though is that you last saw him, and knew him as a person, 25 years ago. Naturally he will not look the same but hopefully good enough for you to still like him. Another thought is, do you know anyone who at 50 remained the exact same person he/she was at 25? With the same likes and dislikes, personality traits, beliefs etc etc? All this goes for both of you. I wouldn't get too excited just yet. Meet up with him, see what happens and go from there...