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Boyfriend is cheating

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I just found out that my boyfriend of 2 years is cheating on me, I dont want to dump him because I am MADLY in love with him.. What should I do?..

Comments (11)

Your question was: Boyfriend is cheating.

Sorry but you did not provide any background info...can you please elaborate?..

Comment #1

I am so sorry. Yes, please elaborate. But whatever you do, don't fall into that trap of being willing to do anything because you're madly in love with him. It will allow him to continue the behavior. You deserve better.

~Kelly~.

 Marrying my best friend and soul mate on June 20. 2008!..

Comment #2

It's hard when you're in love with someone, but I've been burned a couple of times now so it is easier for me to cut them out... which now I may have gone on the extreme of the other way (lol). I dunno. Just for me, once I decide we're finished, we're finished. I know some people have a hard time letting go and they get really depressed or they can't help but call their ex, etc For me, when I'm done, I don't have that problem. I'm free of it.

I don't love you anymore". That's the best way for me to describe how it is for me when I decide Im done...

Comment #3

"Well, at one point, Nat's character says, "I don't love you anymore" And Jude's is like, since when? Just like that? And she goes, "Just now. I don't love you anymore". That's the best way for me to describe how it is for me when I decide Im done." you know what I learned about myself? When I am put through a wringer just trying to love someone or share something good with someone...you know...no games on my part...and they keep it up (the games, the torture, the b.s., the anger at women, whatever)...my opinion of them changes so I then do not see them as someone who I would have dated in the first place if I had known what they were capable of doing to me....and that is why it is easier for me to just let some people go...I didn't know who they really were. But you never really know someone until you experience the highs and lows and plateaus with someone. Now I know I am not "giving up" on something or someone...my opinion of them literally changes to one of dislike or not impressed with them or get him away from me! Why try to make something work with someone who you never wouldhave dated to begin with?..

Comment #4

That's good Snaf (in terms of seeing it as you wouldnt have dated them in the first place). Where I used to get stuck before was I'd focus on all the great things about them.. it would make me sad and wish I didn't let go. I'd focus on all the great things and not how horrible they made me feel... This guy has so many amazing qualities and we click SO SO much. Like such a connection - out of this world! It's a shame to throw this away, it really is.....

Comment #5

Do all of these amazing qualities outweigh his actions that you are upset about? Connections are hard to come by...that I know. Well, maybe he'll come through for you and you don't have to throw this away...

Comment #6

Should I consider an e-mail and picking up the phone for me while he's at work coming through? That e-mail was supposed to come yesterday! And I was totally ignored *yesterday*! Again! Was it some of yuor other posts that was saying that if he doesn't do what he says he will on x-day then he can't be relied upon and it's not someone you can trust or care to go out with? Well, that's the feeling I;m getting here. I mean, it's like I predicted it would be. That he would call the next day and say he was busy the previous day... Blah, I'm done.Last week, I'd mentioned two words to him - fleeting and fairweather. And I'm going to tell him he is both. Fleeting because he is temporary and fairweather because the second I'm stressed he is nowhere to be found. Screw him!..

Comment #7

Oh honey, I'm so sorry - well the FIRST thing is not to make any definitive decisions one way or the other regarding staying in or out of the relationship.  But do right now seek out the support and love of friends and family.  This is a time to take care of yourself..

And has he admitted cheating? You sounded absolutely sure.  Don't give him a free pass - this is NOT acceptable behavior.

,..

Comment #8

No, I know he's not cheating. All our friends are mutual and if he was cheating they would know and would not be able to keep their mouths shut about it - they would tell me (lol). I just feel like I'v been acting crazed during our time apart, but my friend said I have nothing to apologize to him for and that he should be more sensitive to me. I've not apologized, but a little bit ago, I sent him a text saying not to mind me because I'm just stressed out about x-y-z right now. He hasn't written me back yet. I just wanted to let him know that I'm not crazed just cause I'm crazed - that there are reasons behind it! I'm not/did not apologize but just wanted him to know, this is what I'm going through...

*sigh* I dunno... I guess I blew it. I blew it or he's just an insensitive jerk...

Comment #9

Haha, Doyenne, I know that was to the thread-starter, but I just answered it cause I thought about whether my boyfriend was cheating.. but I know he's not (lol)..

Comment #10

So he's cheating and then won't even talk to you? It doen't sound like he has any remorse or need to make things better. I agree you shouldn't make a rash decision, but I can't really see how it will work out if he won't even talk to you about it..

Edited 6/14/2007 8:24 pm ET by thebethness..

Comment #11


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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